Ruminating

@Anonymous Gosh I know how you feel, especially with some activities and feeling distressed. It good to talk about your feelings instead of confessing what events you keep ruminating on. What other feelings do you feel when you think of them?

@ughhhh In this particular example I can’t tell if it’s the ocd or if it’s something I should genuinely adress with the person thats affecting me. So I’m more than anything discouraged about that to do and now about 5 days I’m feeling very anxious over something that may or may not be a big deal

@Anonymous From my personal experiences most of the time these things were get scary anxious over isn’t a big deal and our ocd makes it bigger then it needs to be. Unless this person has hurt you, your feelings or you hurt someone’s feelings then maybe it isn’t as serious as you think it is. What exactly makes you feel like it’s a big deal that you should talk to them?

@ughhhh We’ve started a podcast together and he sometimes makes jokes about my past life / failed relationships. I did bring it up and he was sorry and said he’d stop doing / insinuating that. But now my mind is racing like should I be having him delete all the episodes over one or two phrases

@ughhhh Also thank you for being willing to talk

@Anonymous No np! I find that it’s nice to talk to ppl it takes your mind off it and helps you stop the panic! I absolutely know how you feel. My friends have said things similar to me and I freak out and tell them to not bring stuff like that up again, especially as a joke since it’s serious to me. Depending on what exactly he said regarding your past and relationships the feelings are valid but also, something we all need to do is sit with the uncertainty. What do you think will happen if he doesn’t delete those eps? Do you think something bad will happen?

@ughhhh That’s well said. I feel like as a single Person, if he doesn’t delete them then maybe a potential partner will hear it and not wanna be with me. I’ve been very sensitive Lately to redeveloping my character / reputation after i spiraled a little in 2021

@ughhhh And I feel like part of me having anxiety is like. Am I making a big deal of this or are these valid feelings etc

@Anonymous I understand what you mean completelyy. I worry about my rep too especially what other potential partners and friends will think of me. It’s scary I know but we need to learn how to go forward and live with what has been done/said. It sucks but it’s the only way we can move on. I don’t know what things your friends might’ve said but maybe it’s not as bad as you think it could be. If it’s a new podcast it be hard to find especially someone you haven’t met yet. People aren’t usually so judgmental and if they’re that’s their stuff to deal with yk. If someone some how found it it be extremely rare or you’d have to tell them and show themselves if you trust them enough

@ughhhh Yeah that’s really well said. It has certainly given me a lot of distress and caught me off guard which is the most discouraging part

@Anonymous Was what he said really bad? Or do you think you’ll be ok to sit with that fact that it happened

@ughhhh I think it’s a perfect in between where I’ve tried to work on it for a few days. But not seeing much progress. I wanted to sit with it before just scratching the itch if that makes sense

@ughhhh That would be nice. It makes me feel severely distressed and not able to focus on what I’m trying to to do in the moment