Was doing really great then bam (health anxiety)

Love it when a panic attack sneaks up on you. Doing some traveling for work and that includes me traveling from the east coast to New Mexico. I was very anxious about the altitude. I had it in my head that i was going to get ill from being higher up than i ever have been before and have to go to the hospital or back home. The first couple of days were a bit rough but i adjusted quicker than I thought I would. It’s been about a week being here and I had off today. I got to walk around a farmers market, get good food, and then clean and chill out. I was feeling really good, in control and care-free. The obsessive thoughts were only a light hum in the background. I took a short walk to a free library to pick up a couple books. When i got back to where i was staying, i was out of breath. Not uncommon for someone who isn’t fully adjusted to the altitude. I’ve experienced it a little before and after sitting down for a little my breathing is back to normal. Just feels like i ran instead of walked usually. But this time it kind of sent me. Now, i didn’t drink enough water today (also important in NM) so that was contributing to my hard breathing, dizziness, shakiness and bit of nausea. I knew after some rest, water and a snack, I would be fine. Instead I guess the bodily sensations really caused a panic attack which mimic the same symptoms of altitude sickness. Immediately i felt my heart rate go up and started googling. When the googling made me more fearful (doesn’t it always do that?) i called someone for reassurance that I wasn’t dying. I rested, drank water and ate a little and feel better. It’s been about 20 minutes and the panic and symptoms seemed to subside. Guess what I’m fine! So tired of being kicked in the butt by obsessive thinking and anxiety out of nowhere. Thanks for letting me vent.

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 1y

But see the problem is you called someone for reassurance right? And now you feel a lot better right? Nice and relaxed and happy. Maybe even ecstatic. But youre continuing the cycle. Ive been there a million times. The panic will eventually come back. The problem with us obsessive compulsions is that we LOVE that feeling of relief that comes with a compulsion. Like an addict getting their fix.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Ifiknewthen Yup I’m aware it’s part of the cycle. My goal is to avoid that in the future with more treatment.

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous And remember you get out of treatment what you put in. Plenty of addicts and alcohols have been to a million meetings and choose not to follow the 12 steps and all that. And some of them are dead. I made huge mistakes not being honest with my therapist about my symptoms and not being committed to doing what they wanted me to do. But wishing you well. Good luck.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w

Thank you so much for sharing. I go through the same thing. I feel one symptom and look it up and see more symptoms. The mind is so powerful, if you think you have something it will mimic it. What helps me is saying positive symptoms to myself like "my heart rate is up because its is pumping all the good blood flow to make my organs and muscles healthy" or "i am out of breath because my body is working hard to give me the oxygen I need" or I am nauseous but thats a good sign because I may have drank water too fast and its a normal trigger afterwards. This usually helps block out those invasive thoughts right away

IrisisBlue_.

Date posted: 23w

Do you feel the same?

I felt really overwhelmed with my thoughts and just so over it. I had my breathing controlled normally. It’s just so fucking annoying and frustrating that a normal thing like breathing is a hassle and something that I’m scared to do on a day to day basis recently. I had it controlled. I just wanna know if there’s people out there with a similar problem or something. I have this thing, this problem with a feeling of my thoughts coming out of my breath when I breathe I can’t breathe normally. It’s annoying and it takes me a couple days to finally catch my breath. I was doing good but then I ran out of my meds and the problem came back I was off my meds for 2 days. I had a breakdown about it today bc the thoughts are so perverse and I just wannabe in a normal situation again and be happy and normal it’s so hard to maintain. I don’t know what’s going on.

flowerpetals

Date posted: 11w

word vomit

i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing

rightfulmcool

Date posted: 9w

Health Anxiety started ruining my life.

I will preface by saying I am not diagnosed OCD, as I can't afford to see therapists or psychiatrists at this time. But given the things I've gone through, I'm pretty much convinced it's what I'm dealing with. I never really saw it coming. As a kid I always had health issues. Sick all the time, spent a lot of my very young years in and out of hospitals. In recent years as I've become an adult, health anxiety started creeping in. I spent my teenage years depressed, anxious and suicidal, both passively and actively. I engaged in self destructive behaviors in an attempt to end my life quicker. I left a toxic home environment and began my journey to improve my life, as I have a significant other that I want to stay on this planet for. I began lifting weights and exercising, eating better, and attempting to improve myself day by day. I didn't even realize it happening, but over time I started caring more and more about my health. Avoiding certain foods, making my diet stricter, and ensuring I did the right things. While it was good for my body in the short term, long term it seems it really affected my mental. As I started to feel better, I noticed that the times where I wasn't feeling 100% were very stressful. I'd start to worry about developing diseases. Diabetes, appendicitis, cancer, any number of rare and deadly diseases i could discover on Google. It got worse and worse as time went on. I'd spend money on things to test my body. glucose monitor, thermometer, supplements to ensure I was healthy. mental compulsions began (which i didn't know where compulsions at the time). Well, it all culminated at its peak in the last few months. Every minor bodily symptom, no matter how normal or common or frequent, became a life threatening warning. Constant googling, ruminating, checking and reassurance seeking, which at the time I didn't know was what I was doing. Then, at the end of May, I did get sick. And suddenly all of my obsessions and compulsions solidified themselves as real and premonitions that were true. I started spiraling. Avoiding social events, or anything that was outside of my room. Barely managing to go to work some days. Bringing my compulsions to work as well, sneaking them in when I could. Every day was anxiety riddled. I became exhausted. Sleeping for 10 hours, waking up still tired, coming home having no energy to do anything. It convinced me even more that I was getting sick again. I was getting suicidal again and contemplating it very often. I then noticed my Instagram feed getting filled more and more with OCD related posts and ads, I guess i was unconsciously finding and engaging with them. They described exactly what I was going through, and still am going through. I'm on day 4 of my recovery after learning some ways to help myself. I'm catching my thought patterns, learning to allow the uncertainty, and avoiding my avoidant tendencies. I removed the batteries from my compulsions and put them out of sight. I still am learning my mental compulsions and how to deal with them. I'm engaging with the things I would avoid now despite how I feel. I'm still riddled with anxiety and the OCD thoughts are very loud and frequent. But I'm feeling more in control and like I can handle the thoughts better. I'd love any advice people can give as well. I want my life back.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Was doing really great then bam (health anxiety)

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community