I hate this theme so much. It feels so real and dangerous. Intrusive thoughts of me hurting myself despite me not wanting to end my life at all. It doesn’t help when I get sad or upset, the intrusive thoughts come soaring in. It feels so real and I just want these thoughts to go away
I deal with the same theme and thank God thoughts can’t hurt us. It’s pretty bad when you envy people with other themes. I cant stand having this and I pray that ERP therapy helps me.
@Anonymous I agree. It’s hard to grasp they are just thoughts (which I guess is why we have OCD in the first place) because it feels so dangerous and scary. I fluctuate between Sexual Orientation OCD and Suicidal OCD and I wish I had the other theme right now
@My OCD Academia My two themes are suicidal and harm so yeah it’s very exhausting. Everyday is like ground hogs day haha
@Anonymous Ah harm was my first theme. Not a fun time lol, lots of crying and upset stomachs from anxiety
I’m having a lot of these thoughts too hopefully we can heal from your OCD soon.
@Brooke cookie I’m sorry to hear that. We will get through this. We just have to remember these are just thoughts & thoughts are not truth
Going through the same, we will get through this.
@Anonymous Thank you for commenting, i’m glad i’m not alone
@My OCD Academia Absolutely, it’s miserable, but good to know we are not alone😀
Sorry.. so hard! I struggle with this as well as postpartum OCD and have horrible Thoughts of wanting to hurt my baby. They are so terrible and scary, which then turns into suicidal intrusive thoughts. This is such a horrible disease to live with. Wishing you peace and healing
@Areyousure Wishing you peace and healing as well. Thank you and best of luck on your journey, your kid is lucky to have a parent like you❤️
You’re definitely not alone. How is therapy going? Do you find it to be helpful?
@Anonymous Therapy has been going great. I’m able to share my thoughts with my therapist without her making me feel as if I’m a threat to myself. She knows it’s OCD and treats it as such
I know I used to suffer from that them but if it wasn’t your ocd you wouldn’t be scared about it ? See is ocd
going through same thing and it got rlly worse
@savannahframe19 sorry to hear that. it really is a terrible feeling
@My OCD Academia new stuff happened:(
@savannahframe19 do you have discord to talk? i deactivated my ig a while back
@My OCD Academia i can download it
@savannahframe19 shoot me a friend request when you get the opportunity. my discord is “skawngur”
@My OCD Academia sent it
@savannahframe19 did you spell it right? lol
@My OCD Academia yes
@My OCD Academia mine is “savframe18”
@savannahframe19 sent
@savannahframe19 I tried sending you something
It’s definitely not fun. This morning I had thoughts of wanting to harm my own children. Ugh!! 😩 if they only knew how much I love each of them
@Anonymous I’ve heard of this theme so commonly!! I can’t imagine how hard this one is. It’s so nice to know we are not alone
I have kids too and it's hard having these thoughts but your heart knows the truth not your ocd brain
Do you do ERP therapy?
@Anonymous Yes I do
I got released from a behavioral hospital today after a week. My meds are still trying to level and today has been awful. I found nocd by Google search and I’m set up for my first appt in the morning. This is all very scary and isolating. This is the big one for me but I also suffer from others as well currently. It’s morbidly comforting to know I’m not alone and I will pray for all of you and would love to talk
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
Suddenly I started ruminating again but I no longer get bad anxiety over the thoughts but it feels like the ‘urges’ are still there and it’s making it seem more real that these are true. Why am I having urges without the anxiety or it’s weird like i don’t even know when im anxious maybe i got use to the feeling of being anxious but it feels too real and I get these weird thought that are like ‘imagine you was evil anyways’ or ‘imagine you want to be but your in denial’ or the worst makes it feel like you would like acting on the thoughts even if you choose not to do it and it feels really real. The thoughts are about stabbing and it felt so real and I started imaging it on purpose to ‘test’ myself but it doesn’t ever feel like I hate it enough or don’t want it like I feel numb to everything and it feels really real like I want it or do want to do it but I’m just choosing not to and it’s scary but I use to get so much anxiety over this and now nothing now it feels like I don’t even feel like I ‘hate’ it or I should know that I don’t want to do that? Instead of sitting there experimenting with the thoughts to see. I want it to feel like I don’t want it and don’t like it I constantly feel like I’m lying about not wanting this, but it’s concerning me a lot because it feels so real that I like it or want it and there was one point where it felt like it was about to happen and that I wanted it and now that’s made me think there is something wrong with me or that I want to give in to it 🙁 please I don’t belive anything I don’t even belive I am sad it feels so real that it was about to happen or I wanted it and I don’t know what to do I was fine before and suddenly I started ruminating and now this
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