Falling out of love or OCD?

Can someone please help me. The other day out of no where my brain is trying to convince me that I no longer love my boyfriend which is scaring me and terrifying because I’ve been with him for almost 4 years and we live together and planned our future together but now my brain is now nit picking everything thing he does, trying to convince me he has so many flaws to break up with him or noticing all the perfect things he does to love him all over again. I’m scared and so upset am I falling out of love or is just ROCD? It just won’t leave me alone I don’t want to be with anyone else but I’m scared my thoughts will fully convince me I don’t love him anymore or don’t want to be with him anymore 😞

Username: _bgstrong_bgstrong

Date posted: 30w ago

I’ve been with my partner almost 18 years. I still have these intrusive thoughts. What has helped me is to examine what else is going on. I find that these thoughts are at their worst when I am having other stressful things happening (health, work stress, family/friend drama etc.) and those are the things that I really let my partner in about. “Hey - I’m really stressed about xyz - do you think we can chat about that?” And just having him walk with me through a stressful time - that has nothing to do with him - lessens the intrusive thoughts both because now I’m addressing my stressors - but it also brings us closer and reminds me why I love him.

Username: Cloudbunny19Cloudbunny19

Date posted: 30w ago

@_bgstrong Thank you sm for the advice!

Username: AnnonnAnnonn

Date posted: 30w ago

I am dealing with something similar and I think it comes down to this - if your thoughts are constant and telling you things like “oh I don’t like him bc he does this” or “he did this that must mean I don’t love him anymore”, then I would think that’s more ROCD. However, if it’s a feeling you have deep down within you, like a gut feeling, then it’s more of truly not wanting to be with him. If you aren’t meant to be with him, then you will physically feel it. At least in my experience. It sounds like you’re having a lot of thoughts though that won’t leave you alone, so I am thinking it’d ROCD.

Username: Cloudbunny19Cloudbunny19

Date posted: 30w ago

@Annonn The thing is my thoughts are trying to convince me these are my feelings but I don’t want those feelings at all toward my partner.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 20w ago

@Cloudbunny19 I have this exact problem. How do you distinguish between intrusive thoughts and genuine feelings/intuition? That’s the biggest issue for me right now

Username: LillaJenkinsLillaJenkins

Date posted: 30w ago

i think if you're scared of it that's a sure sign you do love him. thoughts are just thoughts not actual feelings. break down the thoughts and if you don't actually feel that way about a thought then let it just slide right away in your mind. all humans have flaws, that's inevitable, and you don't have to love your partners flaws either. if you love them for them and you don't want to leave then you should be all good

Username: Cloudbunny19Cloudbunny19

Date posted: 30w ago

@LillaJenkins Thank you! My brain is trying to convince me that I’m not scared at the same time it’s going back and forth but I know deep down I still love him!

Username: LillaJenkinsLillaJenkins

Date posted: 30w ago

@Cloudbunny19 i can relate so much but just give it time you'll realize what's true and all the bad will be in the past and you'll think it's so stupid you ever thought that

Username: Cloudbunny19Cloudbunny19

Date posted: 30w ago

I don’t know what to do I’m scared to talk about it with him because what if thinks I do want to break up with him which I don’t but my brain is saying otherwise. And yesterday I couldn’t stop crying because these thoughts won’t leave me alone pls help

Username: SuhonnSuhonn

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20w ago

I feel like I wrote this. I have been married for 6 years, my husband is the love of my life. One day last week out of nowhere I was feeling a little blah, and my brain said "does this mean I don't love my husband anymore? What if I'm falling out of love with him?" I have spiraled out of control beyond belief. I've seen my therapist twice this week. It came out of left field. My therapist said "ive been seeing you for over a year and not one time have you come in here and said that you are unhappy in your marriage, this is an OCD spiral". Nothing I'm doing is helping

Username: tasha123

Date posted: 5y ago

Anyone else fear falling out of love with your partner and falling in love with someone else you know of? My ocd convinces me this other guy I go to university with is ‘the one’ and creates false memories! It’s the worst feeling ever i feel so much guilt and don’t feel happy and loving when I’m around my boyfriend anymore :( I don’t want to be with anyone else but my boyfriend I just wish I was happy with him and never had these thoughts in the first place.

Relationship OCD

Username: ashxfire19

Date posted: 2y ago

Is this ROCD?

Hi all, I just joined this app today after finding its recommendation on reddit so bear with me. The past three weeks of my life has been a living hell. Out of nowhere, I started obsessing about if I need to leave my partner. So let me just say, I love my partner so much, we’ve been together for 1.5 years. The thoughts about leaving him are eating me up and pulling me apart. For three weeks straight now from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep, all I can think about is how I feel like I have to break up with my boyfriend even though I don’t want to. Nothings changed in our relationship but these thoughts have sent me into a spiral. I’ll spend hours reading articles about staying together and breaking up, having multiple crying meltdowns a day about the thought of losing him and that I don’t love him anymore, and feel like I can’t make this anxiety go away unless we break up (AND I DONT WANT TO AT ALL.) This has given my physical symptoms of nausea, chest ache, stomach issues, and mental symptoms of a pit in my stomach, constant feeling of dread, obsessive thoughts that I can’t stop thinking, and the guilt is unimaginable. I love him and I can’t imagine being with someone else. I don’t know what to do anymore. Is this ROCD or am I a bad partner?

Relationship OCD

Username: cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

Please help me, my relationship ocd is so bad 😞

It has completely switched to me being scared I don’t want to be with him. I’ve been struggling for days. I’ve been googling stuff all day too. And then my friend asked me “do you actually like him?” And it’s been stuck in my head. And then I answered yes but my head was like do you really though? Can it really convince you that you don’t and that you’re lying to yourself? And can you feel like you’re lying to them about it all? It makes me feel sick. And then my friend said “I think you’re just second guessing things because you’ve never been in a healthy relationship” my mind keeps going to “what if you really are not mean to be together? You know deep down. What if you’re having all these thoughts because you just aren’t mean to be?” And I don’t have like insane butterflies or infatuation with him like I did my previous partners, but they were so abusive and toxic. Im so terrified my mind will convince me to break up with him and I don’t want to 😞

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