- Date posted
- 1y
Terrible urges
I'm struggling really badly with terrible thoughts and urges. I feel I'm going crazy. Im a kind person and I can't cope with it.
I'm struggling really badly with terrible thoughts and urges. I feel I'm going crazy. Im a kind person and I can't cope with it.
OCD rears it's ugly head all the time. What I do is I try and distract myself to pencil doodle on a pad and the next thing I know I've made art. I have this huge poster paper taped on my wall, everyone else thinks it's my art. Lol Little do they know it's a distraction and they don't have to know. I get so many compliments.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Most of us have been there. Basically, you are suffering from the "what-ifs," and their siblings, the "would I, could I, am I, do I, oh no!" thoughts. One thing you can do is stay in the present: what am I doing, or not doing NOW? What am I plotting or not plotting NOW? Do I have a choice? This helps to neutralize the What-ifs, etc. If you haven't already done so, please consider getting into therapy with a TRAINED OCD, therapist who uses ERP therapy. It can be a reall game-changer. You can find a lot of very good ones through NOCD, or you can access the International OCD Foundation's website. IOCDF has a list of approved therapists based on geography. Hope this helps. Hang in there. Just remember that a thought is a thought is a thought, not a threat or an action, just a thought. An intrusive thought is no more of a threat than a thought about ordering a pizza.
I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice
I am struggling right now with intrusive harm urges. They feel real and it feels like I am going to act any second. It feels like I have to hold myself back, which is a scary thoughts. I am trying so hard not to compulse, but does anyone have tips on what they do in these situations?
I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.
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