Um I’m having a hard time right but I’m trying not to panic , so my boyfriend was about to do laundry and my sister was walking by by the drier and the lights were off and when his hand reached out to turn on the light I saw either his eyes closed when I looked at him or he looked down at the light , or he looked at my little sisters butt . Idk and I hate not knowing cus what if he did look at her butt
Sometimes people look at others butts just bc it’s an instinct almost. Not in a sexual way or meaning he wants her
@Emmnala Me and my boyfriend were sitting down at the sofa. He looks up and looks at my sisters butt super fast , then up at her head . Now what .. he said he didn’t know her butt was there she was right infront of us like legit infront of us facing sideways
Also I would say, there's nothing wrong with looking at other people if they look attractive to you, that's natural and doesn't mean you don't love your partner. And sure, it's not great in front of your partner if you do it all the time, but we can't spend our time avoiding looking at attractive people either.
@Garrett Maguire Ugh this is so hard for me right now , we were passing a parking lot and I saw a girl with a big butt and Idk if my boyfriend looked or not , tbh it caught my eye because she was wearing red but now I’m up wondering this
@Garrett Maguire Me and my boyfriend were sitting down at the sofa. He was on his phone and looks up and looks at my sisters butt super fast , then up at her head . Now what ..
@Leo1000 He said he didn’t know she was there , that how was he suppose to know that was there
@Leo1000 Well to be honest, any guy that sees someone attractive will look.....that's just a natural reaction..... It doesn't mean he doesn't love his partner.....We have to take uncertainty and just trust our partner.....if we want to be with them. Constantly questioning our partner and doubting them will only ruin the relationship in the end......noticing other attractive people is natural....
Yeah but does it really matter what he looks at.....like I say, most people in relationships still see other attractive people every day.....but we still love our partner.....I would do ERP on it, until it becomes less of a problem for you.
@Garrett Maguire I’m back I feel safe venting to you so .. Last year around Christmas I was with my cousin and we were standing up drinking , I looked at my boyfriend and it looked like his eyes looked down at her but , I got mad and yeah I told him about it , he said he didn’t , that he looked at his brother by the fence (the end of the fence was kinda next to her) so maybe ? But idk what if he did ? Now what . It makes me feel crazy
Absolutely... I'm very happy to offer any help I can🙂 ....I know what he'll OCD can put us through
@Garrett Maguire It does , and I took it very personal since it was my cousin.
@Leo1000 Thank you!
@Leo1000 Yeah and that's natural too but don't forget you will notice good looking people too, it doesn't mean you don't love your partner either.....we don't become blind to attraction in others even though we would never act on it and we still love the person we are with.
I would say, don't panic. You will never be certain......and that's ok....it doesn't mean it's true. Ok I know that sounds hard right now, but with ERP it will shift your mindset to accept that few things in life have certainty......but we can live with uncertainty...once we habituate to our fears.
@Garrett Maguire It looked like he did tbh but idk cus I turned to quick and I’m trying to remember exactly where he looked it looked like he looked down tho
@Leo1000 You might be starting to loop. If you keep thinking about it your ocd will win this battle. It's might work if you say well maybe he did and maybe he didn't. I'm not going to worry about jt now. Response prevention is important when I loop. Foe me Noone can give me the answer I'm looking for because I won't ever know for sure. Maybe you could try to response prevention it and say the things I suggested earlier. Maybe he did maybe he didn't. I'd be like ok maybe he did look at her butt or maybe not I'm not going to worry about jt. I'm going to go [insert something to do] now . Good luck
@Anonymous Hi I’m back can I tell u about soemthing ?
@Leo1000 Ugh so we were at the store and we were at the self checkout and there wasn’t any bags , thing is I was with my boyfriend and I told him “do I ask the girl for some bags” and when he was looking around he looked towards the girl and looked up and down
Well I'd say, does it really matter. When you love someone you will still find others attractive that's natural.....no use pretending we don't still find others attractive, I don't know anyone who stops finding others attractive no matter how in love they are with their partner ......sure when we notice someone else attractive we shouldn't make it too obvious because it can hurt our partner's feelings...... Again you need to do ERP on " What if my boyfriend still finds other women attractive"
@Garrett Maguire True . Thank you so much
@Leo1000 If I ever feel like I need this type of advice (not reassurance ) can I come back to this chat and vent ?
I'll be out tonight with my girlfriend and I'm sure I'll notice other women I find attractive....but I really love my girlfriend and would never want to hurt her feelings.....so when I notice a good looking girl I won't stare or anything but I will notice all the same..... can't help it it's part of being human
hi guys, i’m struggling again. the other day, my bf and i went to get ice cream and there was this girl with a fat ass. i pointed it out first because like super impressive and she’s my ideal body type at the moment. (note: i get jealous and freak over girls i have jealousy to) so i was staring at him to see if he was looking at her but i couldn’t tell, he was looking in her direction but she was in the front counter. idk if he was looking at her. i brought it up and he was really sweet about it and reassured me that he didn’t and that he purposely didn’t look out of respect for me. i believe him but i have a little voice in my ear telling me he’s lying and he obviously was looking. any tips on how to diminish that little voice ??
Help please I went to tell my little brother that the giant Uno cards was in the closet and for a second I looked at his butt and it felt like I looked at it with desire Because I was smiling and went to look at his butt and my eyes went up so that means I was looking at him up and down with desire? This is why sometimes I feel like it’s P
My whole life I’ve kind of stared at people’s crotches whenever they’re wearing something revealing a bikini. I feel like I’ve always searched to see if I can see an outline or something or anything because it’s so revealing. It kind of feels like curiosity I don’t know how to describe it. I did this before my OCD got bad and I do this now. I feel scared that I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I’m scared that I’m doing something perverted. What scares me the most is that about a year ago this happened with my boyfriend sister. She was 15 at the time. I didn’t think much about it. I stared, searched and moved on. But now I really question if I did something awful or if my intentions were perverted. I’m questioning whether it’s okay to even have curiosity about this. Maybe this is normal and people don’t analyze their behavior, I don’t know. I had a theory that this has been a compulsion all along but right now it feels fully out the window. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I really need someone’s input or perspective. Please.
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