Confused why we turn our intrusive into reality

But are we supposed to make the content of the intrusive thoughts become true?

So we don't need to actually make our intrusive thoughts come true? If I have intrusive thoughts about putting oil or handprints on my TV, I can just let those be thoughts?

That's what I want to do. But I get confused because I've heard that sometimes you make the intrusive thought be true. For example. "What if I forgot to do a homework problem?" And my compulsion is to check. Then, you actually make that thought true and don't do a homework problem. Which doesn't make sense to me. I'd rather just let it be a thought and move on with my day

Or "What if that picture is crooked?" And I check. Then you make the picture crooked. But I'd rather just leave the picture alone and move on with my day

@rinahello123 The problem is the checking, that’s a compulsion that will make the thoughts come back. If you have the thought and are able to move on without checking then that’s fine. If the idea that it might be crooked is so troubling that it doesn’t go away, then doing the opposite of what ocd wants can help. The point of doing an exposure isn’t to make the thought true, it’s to do the opposite of the compulsion. The goal is to convince your brain that the thought isn’t a big deal and to become comfortable with whatever triggers your worry so that the worry goes away.

@120 I think I understand. So if I have the thought "Go smear your fingerprints, soap, oil, etc. on your TV/phone" and my compulsion is to check if I've done that, I'm allowed to just leave the thought alone and not do the compulsion? I don't need to actually put anything on my TV/phone? I remember a therapist once told me that things don't need to be perfect, so I have her words in my head thinking "Make your TV imperfect, just but a bit of soap, oil, fingerprints on it." But, I don't think that would really help?

@rinahello123 If doing it triggers your anxiety so that your compulsion is stronger to clean your phone, then it will help you more to ignore that stronger compulsion and lead to less worries about how clean your phone is. If you’re able to ignore a compulsion to clean your phone, you’d eventually stop getting compulsions to even check. That’s the idea behind what your therapist is saying but it’s not about making the thought true, it’s about making yourself stop caring so much about that concern.

@120 But putting liquids on my TV/phone could damage it and I don't want to risk that. I'm still very confused to be honest. I just want to let an intrusive thoughts be a thought & not check. Not actually turn that intrusive thought into reality. I imagine if people with OCD turned their thoughts into reality people would be doing things like leaving their front door unlocked, leaving the stove on, hitting people with their car, hurting people, throwing their credit cards away. It just seems counterproductive to make the intrusive thoughts real.

@rinahello123 Doing exposures is meant to build up tolerance to risk. Obviously some things are too dangerous and can’t be done as a compulsion, like hurting people or burning your house down. But for someone who worries 24/7 about whether or not they’ve left the door unlocked to the point that it causes them a ton of stress, leaving their door unlocked for a specific time could be a good exposure. When I had contamination ocd, I stopped washing my hands for over a month which obviously put me at more risk of being dirty or getting sick, but I haven’t had to worry about my contamination ocd in years. The more risky something feels to ocd, the more doing that thing without doing compulsions will help ocd go away. It’s up to you how much risk you’re willing to accept to fight ocd, some risks aren’t worth it because of the likelihood of actual damage behind done, like leaving the gas from a stove on indefinitely. In your case smashing your phone to pieces would obviously be too far, but there may be some middle ground where you’re willing to accept some risk to convince ocd to leave the subject alone.

@120 If you imagine a person who has obsessive fears of falling off a cliff, obviously jumping off a cliff is not what they should do. But the closer they get to the cliff the more it will help with ocd, even though it does increase their risk of falling. They would have to decide at which point the risk became big enough that it wasn’t worth the exposure.

@120 I see what you're saying, but I have to wonder about what happened to "Let the intrusive thought be there, don't do the compulsion" technique. Isn't that ERP? So when would I be able to watch my TV without liquid on it, because honestly, that could damage it. And outside of OCD, me as a person would not want liquid smeared on my TV, that would bother me as me.

@rinahello123 ERP has two parts, the exposure and the response. The exposure is a risk you take to trigger ocd and the response is letting the anxiety sit there without doing the compulsion. The exposure and its level of risk is up to you. If it would make you anxious even with ocd, maybe it’s not a good exposure though there are things I’ve done that have been effective exposures that I would have been uncomfortable with regardless. If you’re concerned about getting oil on your phone, you could consider touching it more often than usual as a possible exposure that isn’t as extreme as putting olive oil on it. Or if you’d rather just ignore the thoughts when they come you don’t have to do ERP, it’s just the most effective way of stopping the thoughts if they don’t go away otherwise. Ignoring compulsions might be enough to make them go away in this case, though I would recommend continuing to talk to your therapist about it.