- Date posted
- 1y
Pocd trigger
Stay strong your videos helped me. I was diagnosed with ocd. Pocd false memory real event themes. I had p*rn addiction in the past and i would specifically search adult porn or particular celebrity names to ensure i didnt come across any p*do stuff by accident. There were times websites still had images of what looked like underage or normal family ads and i would get angry and anxious because i dont want to see that. There was one time i looked for a celebrity video and it had compilatiom of her s*x scenes from her movies. It was all good until one scene it was her trying to arouse her husband in the movie and he was holdimg their child in his arms (nothing bad) but since all the videos prior were adult s*x i fast forwarded passed the scene with the kid. I couldmt find the scene i was looking for of the lady so i had to go back and found it. Finished the deed and moved on. Told my wife how i came across that kid scene and how angry snd mad it made me. I wasnt trying to do anything bad i was intentionally looking for a female celebrity. I went on and now years later ocd doubts if i intentionally looked for the child or when i went back to find the scene i passed thst scene snd i recall being anxious having to pass it but i was looking for a scene and now my ocd worries was i looking st the child scene again. If i wouldve done something that bad i wouldve confessed and turned myself in. P*do is the worst thing to me. I am not one and dont have a history. The false memory real event ocd therapt says just accept uncertainty and move on but i cant accept if thatbwere true. I use logic and reasoning to try solve the ocd. Im not a p*do and it gives me anger and anxoety. Not pleasure. Plus my intentions was to look at a particular adult celebrity i found attractive. In my religion doubt is falsehood and in liberal arts doubt is conquered by logic and reasoning. I used my cbt tools and have more evidence against the ocd doubt but i still feel guilt or anxiety about what if i did that unimaginable thing when i came across the scene of the child when i was looking for margott robbies s*x scene.