trigger warning: Does anyone have advice

Do you cope with genuine hopelessness? Deep down I am convinced this will never get better. I think about suicide a lot, but that would hurt my family. But even being alive is hurting them because I cannot stop the mental breakdowns. I also cannot afford therapy. But it's the hopelessness. I feel that suicide is inevitable because I cannot live with this. I cannot stop self harm and I have a mental breakdown almost every week and often multiple times a week. The self harm is giving me brain damage. I literally have no hope. None.

Username: chichichichichichi

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

I am a testament to the fact that it indeed does get better! This time last year, I wouldn’t be saying the same. I felt hopeless, like there was literally no way out despite the many advice & hope from this platform. It indeed does get better! I have had intrusive thoughts since I was 8 now 27, but nothing beats the anxiety & depression I experienced last year from OCD. I moved out of state and started a new job late last year. I think that played the biggest factor in my recovery. Sometimes, a big life change does the trick. I never believed there would be a day I would be able to type out this testimony. You will get there too, I promise.

Username: Anonymous80000Anonymous80000

Date posted: 30w ago

please don’t commit suicide. it’s a permanent solution for a temporary problem. you deserve a great life, and i promise your family wants you alive and to get better. you can stop self harm. remember, you are in control of your action, ocd can’t control how u act, even if it makes you have terrible thoughts. when you feel very bad and want to hurt or loll yourself, i recommend using immediate distraction, hold cold ice cubes, talk to a family member, write your thoughts down, count 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste. I promise there is a way our. you can 100% get recovery and life a life where ocd doesn’t bother you much.

Username: Anonymous80000Anonymous80000

Date posted: 30w ago

@Anonymous7779 live a life*

Username: Anonymous80000Anonymous80000

Date posted: 30w ago

@Anonymous7779 I meant kill not lol, so sorry for the typos

Username: Anonymous80000Anonymous80000

Date posted: 30w ago

Things CAN absolutely get better, and you can start living a much happier life. try cognitive diffusion, and ERP. it will make great changes for the better in your life. please don’t give up, i know you can do this. Suicide and self harm is never the answer.

Username: Anonymous80000Anonymous80000

Date posted: 30w ago

@Anonymous7779 this erp doesn’t need to be through a therapist. you can use online sources such as nathen peterson whixh provide ways you can start minimizing ocd yourself

Username: livingnightmarehell33livingnightm...

Date posted: 30w ago

@Anonymous7779 I haven't heard of cognitive diffusion before.. I could try Nathens online course.. ok, I feel a little better, Thank you very much

Username: Anonymous80000Anonymous80000

Date posted: 30w ago

@livingnightmarehell33 cognitive diffusion is doing the kind of stuff i mentioned- the 54321, ice cubes, writing down your ocd thoughts in funny ways

Username: thebubblyonethebubblyone

Date posted: 29w ago

i'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this trapped and hopeless. it sounds incredibly tough to be in a cycle of pain and to feel like you're a burden to your family. please know your life has immense value, even in these darkest moments. 💔 by the way, have you heard about this new ai-powered ocd therapy tool called 'unstuck'? when i was in a really dark place, similar to where you are now, my nocd therapist recommended this free ai ocd therapy tool to me (unstuckmyocd.com/try). i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized, step-by-step support that can feel like having an ocd therapist by your side, especially during those moments when therapy feels out of reach financially. it's designed to help you manage and work through the ocd cycles that contribute to feelings of hopelessness and self-harm. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: livingnightmarehell33livingnightm...

Date posted: 29w ago

Thank you so much. I haven't tried this tool yet. I'll download it

Username: livingnightmarehell33livingnightm...

Date posted: 30w ago

Im going to think about a good immediate distraction I could start employing

Username: Anonymous80000Anonymous80000

Date posted: 30w ago

@livingnightmarehell33 yes, this could even be going for a walk, or talking to friends

Username: c444tmommy

Date posted: 4y ago

TW// SUICIDE im gonna be really honest. i am not doing good. this is the worst ocd theme i have ever had. it feels SO real to me. i look at my self in the mirror and mourn the happy girl i used to be before december of 2019 when my ocd first hit. the fact that i will never be the same scares me and haunts me more than anyone can understand. everyday gets harder and harder no matter how much progress i make. i cant afford therapy right now but i need it so badly. i am genuinely in so much pain. i feel so guilty, and ashamed, and sad all the time. i cant focus on school work or anything anymore. i have had thoughts about suicide because i just want some relief. it hurts so much. i love my boyfriend beyond belief. it makes me so angry that ocd would attach to and manipulate something so pure and beautiful to me.

Relationship OCD

Username: MandyM

Date posted: 4y ago

TW/ I don't know what to do anymore 😔 Struggling with real event/false memory ocd is so hard. Last weekend, I was planning on committing suicide but I couldn't tell my siblings what was wrong cuz I feel like they wouldn't understand. I feel so underserved and unwanted sometimes and it would be better if I leave this earth. I would compare myself to people who done harmful things to other people, but deep down inside I'm none of these people AT ALL. Tbh, I will be surprised if I make out alive by the end of next year. I struggle with self-harm as well and there are times where I really I had to fight the urge to self-harm. This has been so horrible because I failed all my classes this semester and I'm not sure if I'm going to be back to school next semester. I just feel like a failure. I don't even remember being fully happy. At this point I just want to leave and never come back. I know my friends and family would be sad when I committ suicide, but I think they would live a better life when I'm not in it.

Username: CalicoCat

Date posted: 1y ago

Can't see a way forward

Please note the trigger warning for this post I go through ups and downs with my OCD, I'm currently having a flare up. Despite getting out of flare ups before I don't believe I'm going to ever get out of this one. I'm having suicidal thoughts, but I know I can't act on them because I have a loving husband and family, because I can't die then I have to live but I genuinely don't see how I can keep living. I'm completely hyper-focused on something from when I was 18 or 19 (about 5 years ago) which I don't know if its a real event or a false memory. I told my husband about it once and I managed to tell my therapist about it today and they both say I can forgive myself if the thing did happen, but I don't think I can. All I can do is cry and ruminate, it feels completely over for me

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trigger warning: Does anyone have advice

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