Help!

i literally cannot do anything bc of this ocd. i want to watch tiktok but i can’t bc i’m so paranoid that i will repost something by accident, especially something that could be inappropriate. i’m also scared if i like something on tiktok by accident or if i liked it and now i need to check it 100x. i just want to watch tiktok. it’s also on instagram too, i’m so paranoid that i will like a post or like a story. i’m so tired i just wanna be a teenage girl who can use social media normally.

I’m having a bad episode right now and I’m feeling so depressed and I’m crying like a baby because I’m thinking that if my mom knew the reasons I’m like this she would hate me and what would I ever do without my mom. I’m feeling so alone. I just need my mom but I know I can’t open up to her. Like even if I’m this horrible person my mom would despise me too? I can’t handle that someone please help.

I am having a really hard time being home for the holidays. My intrusive thoughts are constant and loud. It sucks too, because my thoughts get triggered when I'm around one of my family members. I just want to distance myself, so I can stop the thoughts and feel like I'm not going to hurt anyone. I'm so distressed and depressed. What do you do to help calm your mind and remind yourself that you are a good person, despite what the thoughts say? I've already meditated, taken my Lexapro, and tried to remind myself that these thoughts want to attack the things I care about the most. Thanks. ❤️