I’m deleting the app. I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing. If there is something horribly wrong with me I need to stop posting about it daily, and if it really is OCD this app isn’t helping me either.
I know ocd is hard . To help with ocd I recommend researching physical and mental compulsions and how to stop doing them and exposer response. I know ocd can feel like there is no escape and like you will never get better but that is not true ocd is tricky. Please try not feel shame for your ocd .ocd or dark thoughts do not make you a bad person , ocd makes you a person with a fear disorder. Worrying if you have ocd or not is sadly normal part of ocd. My ocd years ago made me think I was a horrible monster that wanted to kill my family. I was able to over come that part of my ocd. My ocd started scaring me I want to hurt myself about 3 months ago so I am now work on my ocd again. Ocd really sucks ,I have had many sleepless nights because of it. But you and I can heal from ocd , just keep working on it , it takes time but you can do it.
I sought reassurance from my therapist about whether or not I had OCD, she laughed and said that this was very common, that OCD patients doubted their own diagnoses. At the end of the session she was going over with me all the symptoms I had and which she used to evaluate my case and finally give me the diagnosis: it really was OCD and deep down I knew that, but sometimes it is very confusing to separate our thoughts from reality. I hope you are well and are able to find the peace you have been seeking, good luck on your journey.
i feel the need to say sorry because i’m posting yet again. i’m having a REALLY DIFFICULT episode of ocd that i haven’t had for a few months now. i experience contamination ocd everyday and have constant anxiety attacks, however because that’s so normal to me and doesn’t affect anyone but myself, it doesn’t affect me in the same way harm ocd does. i haven’t had to deal with really bad harm ocd thoughts for a good bit now so i’m struggling so bad right now. if anyone has seen my previous posts (which i’m sure you have), this came about over a small change that happened a couple weeks ago. it’s now blossoming into a full episode. it’s making me feel paralyzed and not want to do anything, but i know in the past i had to force myself to distract myself by actually doing things. i’m supposed to hang out with my friend tomorrow, but i’m so close to cancelling because i feel like i can’t do it. my physical symptoms are also worse than what i feel like i’m used to and it’s terrifying me into thinking i’m gonna get sick. i just don’t know how to get through it. it feels like impending doom and constant panic. i just want to feel like myself again and happy
Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.
I feel so horrible and sad right now. I’ve been posting about what I’m going through on my other account but no one comments or reacts. I’ve posted many times yet no one bothers to respond. I feel so terrible. I want to cry because I feel like I’m already too far gone, beyond forgiveness. I want to delete this app, but if I do, I’ll have no one to share with when I'm really having a hard time to deal with my ocd. I have no one who understands my ocd except the people on this app but it hurts me that no one replies anymore. I’m so sorry for posting something like this. I’m just sharing what I really feel. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I feel like I'm about to go insane. Sometimes I feel like it's not my ocd anymore because no one responds to my posts. Honestly, I really feel like I don't have ocd anymore especially because I'm undiagnosed. It makes me feel like I’m the most cruel person in the world, someone who doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness. I’m not trying to guilt trip anyone. I know that you are all struggling too. I truly hope you all get better. 💗
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