I’m deleting the app. I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing. If there is something horribly wrong with me I need to stop posting about it daily, and if it really is OCD this app isn’t helping me either.
I know ocd is hard . To help with ocd I recommend researching physical and mental compulsions and how to stop doing them and exposer response. I know ocd can feel like there is no escape and like you will never get better but that is not true ocd is tricky. Please try not feel shame for your ocd .ocd or dark thoughts do not make you a bad person , ocd makes you a person with a fear disorder. Worrying if you have ocd or not is sadly normal part of ocd. My ocd years ago made me think I was a horrible monster that wanted to kill my family. I was able to over come that part of my ocd. My ocd started scaring me I want to hurt myself about 3 months ago so I am now work on my ocd again. Ocd really sucks ,I have had many sleepless nights because of it. But you and I can heal from ocd , just keep working on it , it takes time but you can do it.
I sought reassurance from my therapist about whether or not I had OCD, she laughed and said that this was very common, that OCD patients doubted their own diagnoses. At the end of the session she was going over with me all the symptoms I had and which she used to evaluate my case and finally give me the diagnosis: it really was OCD and deep down I knew that, but sometimes it is very confusing to separate our thoughts from reality. I hope you are well and are able to find the peace you have been seeking, good luck on your journey.
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