Messaging based obsession

I’ve been diagnosed with OCD but I don’t have these intrusive thoughts like everyone else...so I’m convincing myself I don’t really have OCD I struggle I guess with rOCD (and more)...I guess I always check to see if a person texted me back. I blow up the persons phone until they respond. I use to have it really bad where I had so much anxiety if I didn’t do it and so much anxiety if I did. When guys leave me....I freak out and have damn near a heart attack from panicking so much. And once I get this thought in my head whether it’s “you should’ve said this” or “he probably lied to you when he said this” or whatever there’s this feeling in my body. It’s like an uncomfortable negative vibe and that thought becomes priority. I have to do it. I have to text them and it’s hard to think of anything else. And when I do it doesn’t stop so i shouldn’t give in but sometimes I do. And if I get over that thought later another might replace it and it starts again. Anybody else feel this way...?

I dont know if this is considered ROCD, but Im always checking up on what my boyfriend is doing on social media and put thoughts into my head that he’s cheating on me... I’ve caught him sending messages to another girl, and it broke my heart. I was so close to breaking up with him but decided to give it another try and my trust in him is growing back. We have been really really good lately but I always am engaging in compulsions to check Instagram and every platform of social media. It is especially worse when I text him, and he doesn’t answer and I see him active on another platform... it triggers me to think he’s messaging another girl and my thoughts start spiralling. I do not try to engage in the compulsion to always check my phone but somehow I always do. It’s consuming my professional life and distracting me from work!! Any advice?

(Synopsis: Has your OCD ever latched on to someone and caused major changes in your life? How do you deal with feeling like a total creep?) My OCD has latched on to a guy I had a crush on through my school years. It started when I followed him on Instagram. I then broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years (which was for the best) and immediately started trying to SLEEP WITH THIS MAN. We DM’d and it went nowhere but I was EXTREMELY forward and aggressive to the point where a year later I am still very embarrassed by it. After that happened, I muted his story and posts and my obsessions faded. Then I was buying a home and since he is a carpenter I hit him up for a quote… It went nowhere as well probably because I BASICALLY SEXUALLY HARASSED HIM. Anyway, then I saw the gym he went to looked like something I might enjoy so I signed up. I fell in love with this gym and now I go every day when I was never an active person. I’ve seen him there a few times and we just say hello. Super awkward. My friend is into manifestation so she suggested I look into manifesting a “specific person” and there is all of this content online about manifesting someone into your life no matter the circumstances. All you have to do is speak it into truth. Well that doesn’t mix well with OCD so I FULLY convinced myself that he and I were meant to be and all of this insane stuff. I realized it was a problem when I was talking about him to every one of my friends and sounding like a weirdo. That’s when I started NOCD. That brings me to where I’m at now. Every time I go to the gym, I wonder if he will be there. When he pops into my head, I go to his (muted) Instagram to see what I missed. I still have lingering feelings that I am so obsessed with him because we are fated to be together. This man has been the catalyst to several big things in my life: breaking up a long term relationship, becoming a gym rat, and starting NOCD. I’m even in the beginnings of a great relationship and I still can’t stop these obsessions. I just started working on it with my therapist here but I need someone to relate to! Does anyone else have these obsessions and how do you deal with feeling like a stalker creep?