- Date posted
- 1y
Thoughts are killing me
Sorry this is a long one but I’m going around in circle with this thought Everyday I have a spike thought that tells me the way I acted with my ex was wrong. After a year of me trying to help him through hard times, after a year of him saying he wanted to be with me, he suddenly ended things when I came back off my travels. He didn’t end it before even though he’s basically admitted he was thinking about it at the time. So when I came back it took him 2 weeks to admit to me that he didn’t want to see me anymore, and then after those 2 weeks took him another 3 too meet up with me to give me the closure I needed. We were messaging each other during that time, me not knowing that the entire time there was actually another girl. He lied to me and still is lying to me, saying “I didn’t like her like that when we were ending but after we did it just happened” which is a lie because I found out that they were sleeping with one another before her and her boyfriend broke up. So after he sat in my car and spilled lies to me, about focusing on himself and there not being any other girls (I found out when I was away there is a big possibility there was other girls) a week later he was with her, getting into a relationship after telling me he didn’t want one just yet. And now they are deadly serious with one another. The thing is, a week or 2 after I found out I really needed to heal, but I went out and they sat on the table right in front of mine and started to make out, which killed me. Of course he can do what he wants but he looked at me and knew I was there so the fact is that he did that with the intent to knowing I could see. Then he called my sister a cunt because she nudged him, it was a very packed bar so the fact is if she did or didn’t do it one purpose doesn’t give you the right to call her that. So I took him outside we had a chat and he proceeded to lie to me. 2 weeks after that he then said “oh we’ve switched” because me and her ex became friends during the whole thing because we were both devastate. Which hurt like hell for me to hear from him. So I then told him off and I went my own way saying “I’m glad you’re happy but it’s not been easy for me. So be careful and enjoy, I only wanted you to be happy” for me to then leave the pub find out his new gf is pregnant and for him to proceed to call my sister a cunt once again! They have their own beef which has nothing to do with me, but to hear it really hurt. I then find out later he called me a cunt when I was crying because if just found out about her being pregnant and it killed like fuck to imagine them together like that. My friend told him to walk away and get a grip. Apparently my ex wanted to talk to me but I really wasn’t in the frame of mind to do that. Even though we both were single, I loved him very deeply and to see all this does bloody hurt. I’ve moved to another part of the country now and I’m still hearing about stuff they’re doing, by the sounds of things it’s not good. She screamed at a family member of his and was incredibly rude, and he disrespected his mum by shouting and calling her names in the pub when she said for him to leave (he’s 19 and gets very drunk) she proceeds to help him say he’s an adult now so doesn’t need to listen to her. She’s like this, will change a person, I know her exs and by the sounds of things this is always what happens. She cheats, she gets with the guy, she manipulates and she cheats again. It’s none of my business but having strong feelings for someone and knowing they’re going down a wrong path and all you can do is watch, it hurts. I’m disgusted by his behaviour and never ever would go there with him again. But overall like are my actions bad? To be upset and fuming at the way he’s acting? I feel pathetic and ridiculous but my heart was broken the moment he ended things with me and then got with her a few weeks after. That’s normal right?