- Date posted
- 1y
I've been off my meds for almost 3 months
Hello, so I had some pretty bad OCD. I had intrusive thoughts and I would do very disturbing rituals/ compulsions to try to suppress the thoughts. It was extremely unhealthy. It pretty much took over my life. It was non stop. I got the help I needed. I saw a physiatrist and she put me on medicine. We found a good combination of medicine that worked great. Over time I felt the best I had in so long! It was great! But then we lowered the dose of the medicine and eventually I stopped taking it. It turned out I didn't do it right. The first mistake was at this point I had not taken any therapy, only medicine. And also I believe I didn't take enough time lowering the dosage before I just completely stopped taking the medicine. So basically at this point I unfortunately relapsed and started doing all those terrible compulsions again. It was horrible! It was a nightmare. So I obviously saw my physiatrist again and we went back on the medicine. And she then strongly recommended I see a therapist. So I did. I signed up to NOCD and started taking sessions. They taught me a lot! It was extremely helpful. So after the therapy and continuing taking my medicine I got back to where I was before the relapse. I was in a great spot again. At this point my physiatrist recommended we start to reduce my medicine again.. but this time we did it way more slower. I would take lower dosages monthly. I would cut my pills in halves, then quarters, then I would take a pill every other day etc. We got to a point ( about 3 months ago) Where we decide I stop taking the medicine. Now here I am now. So I haven't relapsed. What I mean is I haven't done any of my terrible rituals/ compulsions that really spiral me out of control. So I'm proud of that. But unfortunately I just feel like some of the symptoms are returning. I find myself doing very small ticks to try to suppress some of these thoughts. I guess you can call them compulsions. There not anything bad but I know I'm doing them. I know I probably should stop because I fear that could lead to worse compulsions. So basically after I stopped taking my pills I've noticed a difference. It's no where near as bad as it was!! I'm able to live with this. Thanks to everything I know from therapy etc... but to be honest I kinda feel a little depressed because I know there are symptoms returning. I can feel them. So it kind of sucks. I'm trying my best to not do any compulsions. But it's been like every day where I'm dealing with these symptoms. And it's got me down. I'm seeing my physiatrist in a week. And I'm going to ask her if she thinks I should get back on some medicine. The best I ever felt was when I was on my pills. There were some side effects but nothing to bad. They weren't an issue. I felt amazing when I was on them. I just don't feel the best right now. It's it OK to be on medicine (at least a small dosage) for long periods of time? Potentially life? I really appreciate anyone who reads this! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm 31 years old. Thank you