Vent.

I take a fashion a level and I'm so behind on work. It's all my fault. I look around me, and everyone else can just get on with work. And now, because of my inability to do anything right, I'm sat here at 2am trying to get all of my missed work done, because my teacher is marking our project tomorrow. I just to cry because it's all my fault. But even now, I'm just sitting here unable to do it. I knew WEEKS AGO that I would have to do it at some point, even had days off because I felt too scared to go in because I'm so behind on all my work. I still didn't do it. It doesn't help that it's practical work too, so I'm sitting here trying to sew things and make jewellery and get everything done. I know it's my own fault. I wish I could tell my teacher I'm just so overwhelmed. She's nice, and friendly, so I probably could, but I'm just too terrified. I might as well just quit while I'm at it. Go in tomorrow with barely completed work and just tell her I tried my best, even though I didn't really. I just want to cry. I don't know why I'm posting this, it's not related to OCD. I just don't know where else to turn.

judah

Date posted: 1y

I'm here for you. I do suggest sending your teacher an email letting her know you've been struggling-- because, although scary, it would give you time to word your thoughts & communicate them to her. So, when you turn in your work, she would at least have an explaniation as to why it might not be your best. Sending the best of luck & utmost support 🫂🫂🫂

squirrelobse...

Date posted: 1y

Thank you so much, it means a lot. I know she would be understanding, but I just wish I could get it done so I don't have to worry. Thank you again :)

judah

Date posted: 1y

@Chlo3264 It helps me sometimes when overwhelmed with a big task to break it down into little steps & try to tackle each one without focusing too much on the big picture. It's hard, but sometimes focusing on small parts of a big problem can help me get in the zone and feel accomplished for each little step i get done! hope this helps

squirrelobse...

Date posted: 1y

@judah I do try to do that too to be honest, and it does help sometimes. I think my problem is just getting started, because if I don't, then I'll never do it. But thank you again for your help - I think I'm going to try and get some sleep, and probably just go to her in the morning and tell her how much I've been struggling. Thank you again for replying :)

Preena

Date posted: 1y

Heyy, I am doing A levels too! First take some deep breaths, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! Ocd can make things super difficult and almost impossible to do. I suggest talking to your teacher because she could really help you:) and I'm sure she'll understand.I have psychology paper 3 tomorrow and my OCD has stopped me from doing so much study this year- once it even told me something bad will happen if I revise- so you are definitely not alone! I really wish you the best with this :(

Yamimuu

Date posted: 25w

Vent

I hate all of this. I feel so extremally ashamed of every single little thing I do, every single action is being questioned and shamed. I just cant understand why do I feel this way, afterall, it's not like Im going to stop doing these things or thinking in a certain way because I feel this shame. Sometimes these are little things like feeling ashamed over not being extremally kind to an adult(I fear adults a lot and I see them as people superior to me, which makes me feel even more ashamed and inferior) but sometimes it's shame over my morals, my wording of sentences etc. There's nothing that I can do to make this shame go away, Im so desperate to feel better that I constantly put other people down "as a joke" (only if they agree to it) to make myself feel less ashamed of my own existance. I know it's wrong and Im not a good person but I just dont know what should I do, Im so increadibly tired with this never ending shame. I felt it ever since, but since I got my second ocd episode(that started on 1th of august 2023) It has gotten so much worse. Now it's utterly debilitating and pathologizes my functioning in every area. I feel ashamed of thinking, of feeling, of eating, of learning, of the way I draw, speak or dress, of my behaviour, of what media I consume. Actually I feel ashamed over everything, I dont have any kind of true self worth, I need other people in order to feel atleast a bit better. All I want is for all of the people on earth to reassure me over and over again that Im allowed to live amongst them, that Im not wrong, that I can live and be happy as well. I wish I could just never wake up again, I feel so bad

veinsoul

Date posted: 24w

in need of help

I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.

moomoo22

Date posted: 23w

pls reply if you have help

i am a freshman in college and i have always struggled with depression, anxiety, and OCD. i have never received help for my OCD despite being medicated for my other two issues. i have noticed that what most of my panic stems from is my OCD and more specifically my OCD around school. i haven’t been able to get myself up for class for multiple days and im starting to panic about everything im missing and think about every little thing i have to fix. i am so behind that it makes me want to panic and i feel like i cant fix this. i just want my mind to feel normal but it feels like my whole world is falling apart all because i am feeling stuck in school. please help me i just want to feel okay but i dont know how to. i have tried doing all the assignments i can do to catch up but it isn’t enough i still feel so panicked

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