Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

Searching for help

I struggle with Harm/Suicidal OCD. This causes me great distress and worry. Not only doubt, fear, and stress! I am trying to not take medication because my husband and I are finally expecting our first baby. I want to be the best for myself & my family that I can be. What has help everyone else? The thoughts and feelings make it feel so real that I want to commit suicide when in reality I do not & they make me think so many horrific thoughts. I want to be the person I was before that didn’t have any of these thoughts. Any recommendations for help is greatly appreciated!

judah

Date posted: 45w ago

I struggle with these too. I don't have many ways to help, but I hope you know you aren't alone. Try to acknowledge the thought & remind yourself that OCD targets the things you least want / are most afraid of, and remidn your brain how much you want to live. Sending support 🫂

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@judah It’s relieving to know that I’m not alone even though I know I’m not! I hate the thoughts, feelings, and everything that goes with it! Feeling hopeless and worthless is awful! Even though I know that’s not me!

Patrick2017!

Date posted: 45w ago

@Camogirl01 What are the thoughts like im confused on what these Intrusive thoughts are or if im going crazy

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@Patrick2017! The thoughts are based on the topic of suicide and harm. Fears that I want to act on it and that I want it to happen in which that is the opposite! I don’t want any of it! And just graphic and horrid thoughts that come out of now where.

KaitlynnvE

Date posted: 45w ago

Hi! I just wanted to say that you're gonna get through this because you're strong and will be stronger from this. I too am struggling with the same theme at the moment and trust me...it is definitely tough. I remember when it all happened and how scary certain thoughts or images may be so you're not alone on that. There is NOTHING TO BE GUILTY OR SHAMED FOR. we did not ask for these thoughts and we should not feel guilty for something that we are fighting back against. It is so hard to try to redirect these thoughts because they strike a cord against us because of who we are. You will be a great mother, you're already showing that mama-strength!!!

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@KaitlynnvE Thank you so much for saying that it truly means a lot to me! I want to be the best mom I can be for this baby! I remember the exact moment and from then on! It is truly traumatizing! I wish I could go back and redo that moment, but I know it’s in the past and it is what it is!!! We did not ask for these thoughts and some days I can accept them for what they are and go on but other days are harder!

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 45w ago

I still struggle with these thoughts. One thing that has helped me is to simply let the thoughts occur. Don’t try to find meaning or argue with the thoughts. That is the compulsion. The more you try to reason or disprove the thoughts the more they will occur.

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@Anonymous I always struggle with feeling guilty or awful about even having the thoughts!

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 45w ago

@Camogirl01 Completely understand. these thoughts shook me to my core. Overtime they had diminished, but it took a lot of hard work and uncomfortable feelings.

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@Anonymous How did you get them to diminish?

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 45w ago

@Camogirl01 I stopped trying to reason with the thoughts. When the thoughts occur I just let them occur and don’t argue with or engage with the thoughts. The more you engage with the thoughts, the more the thoughts will occur. I am sorry you are going through this, this can completely take over your life.

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@Anonymous It is definitely hard! When you say you just let them occur how did you deal with the feelings or emotions that came with it?

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 45w ago

@Camogirl01 In the beginning the thoughts put me into a depression, I was in rough shape just trying to make it through the day. As the thoughts occurred less the emotions that went along with it lessened. Opening up to my partner helped a lot too. You got this!

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@Anonymous I will definitely try this, thank you so much!

[Deleted]

Date posted: 45w ago

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Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@kitkatalikat What medicines have you tried!?

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@kitkatalikat Ive tried a lot like Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and there was a couple others. I do go to my OB/GYN on Wednesday, so I am thinking about asking her what would be safe or what her opinion is

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@kitkatalikat I definitely will! It’s tough because I want the best for my baby and to be the best mother I can be!!

haleymoriarty

Date posted: 45w ago

I am struggling with the same theme!!! Because things have been so bad for me lately I feel like I actually want the thoughts but I know that I want to live SO BADLY 😭😭 I truly love my life so much (and I know you do too otherwise ocd wouldn’t be attacking it the way it is). My mind always says “I am going to k!ll myself” or that it is easier to give up. Makes me so sick. Just know you’re not alone!! ❤️

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@haleymoriarty Yes, I totally understand what you are saying!!! 100% It makes me feel like I should just give up but I know there is hope & I don’t want that all! I’m trying to let the thoughts and feelings be there but in the back of my mind it’s hard to not engage with them or try to change & redirect my thoughts! It literally makes me sick too!!

haleymoriarty

Date posted: 45w ago

@Camogirl01 I feel you girl😭😭😭😭 I am just trying to trust myself that I will NEVER give up I love my life too much and OCD can make my life hell but it cannot change that. I also struggle with moving on to different activities in my life b/c it feels so wrong. I feel like if I am not 100% sure that I don’t want to end my life that I shouldnt move on in life (even thought I am as sure as I will ever be that I want to live as long as I can). It feels so difficult to move on and do something else

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@haleymoriarty I get it! What keeps me going is knowing I’m going to be a mom & I have a wonderful life and more ahead of me! Plus I want to go to heaven and I don’t believe that will get me there! I am trying to let go of the guilt, shame, fear, & worry!!!

haleymoriarty

Date posted: 45w ago

@Camogirl01 Me too!!! ❤️ I am trying to just remember that intrusive thoughts are literally the exact opposite of me. So the more I accept that the more I can let it go!!!

Camogirl01

Date posted: 45w ago

@haleymoriarty Yes, exactly! That’s my thing too! I try to remember I don’t chose my thoughts like that they come randomly!

carol.xxx

Date posted: 24w ago

Please reply Im terrified need you guys.

HARM OCD VENT. I feel Terrified. I am so scared that I am going to act on a terrible harm ocd intrusive thought on someone else. The idea, the sensations the urges terrify me because it feels so scarily real. I feel like im a horrible person - a danger and i’m so guilty for having intrusive thoughts. I hate knives, I avoid looking at them in real life, in the kitchen as i’m so terrified that i will do sone thing terrible. I get excited when my boyfriend cones round as i always think he knows about my thoughts so at least he would restrain me if i were to do anything bad. I just feel so scared so guilty. I have this horrible sensation of urge running through my body- currently im on the verge of tears- i feel lost. My ocd has even latched onto pumpkin carving - scared i will do something bad. Now my OCD is just being like “ maybe your avoiding is all fake and your trying to cover your a bad person” “ what if u actually want to “. “ I want to “ “ You arnt actually trying to hard from harmful objects “ its TERRIFYING. please may someone reply - I’m terrified right now its like an intrusive FEELING is in my body. Sorry guys. I NEED reassurance at this point, I don’t know what to do.

Harm OCD

cows12465

Date posted: 19w ago

please help me

can someone with this theme help me i’m so scared and i can’t stop having panic attacks is this OCD??? So i always have struggled most with sucicidal ocd and harm ocd. i never really had any other themes. but recently ive struggled with SOOCD. My whole life i have never EVER been into girls ever and i could never even think of ever being with a girl in my entire life. i’m having extreme amounts of anxiety and i have compulsions to make sure i look at a girl and don’t feel anything towards them or anything. My mind is literally going “what if your just in denial” or “what if you’ve just been hiding it all these years” When i know i haven’t. i have all of the symptoms of SOOCD and i still know that im not gay,but these thoughts are extremely distressing and have been the worse to deal with. I’m constantly panicking and doing compulsions to get these thoughts to leave and they won’t. i’m scared and these thoughts are making my mind scared. What if i’m going against my morals and i’m lying to myself like and i just went through a tough breakup too so that is shooting these thoughts and anxiety. Please help omg!!!

carol.xxx

Date posted: 15w ago

flare up please respond

Hey guys, I am having the worst HARM OCD episode I have had in a while. I am having disgusting, awful intrusive thoughts about harming others. It feels so real. It feels as if I am about to get up and just do it. The worst bit about it all Is I know I feel distressed and panicked. But where the thoughts are actually happening ( in my head) doesnt feel this feeling. This is making it feel worse as it really does feel like Im just going to do it. I am crying my eyes out because I know im petrified and dont want to hurt anyone im so scared. I have this terrible intrusive feeling in my that feels like its justifying the thoughts. Please can someone talk as I am scared Im crying I dont want know what to do I want this feeling gone I am so scared. I tell myself Id kill myself before hurting anyone else, but would i ? What if I actually do want to kill Please respond Im so scared

Harm OCD

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