SO OCD

So I’m doing my ERP with this girl who I think I have a crush on? I thought it was SO OCD, but now I’m thinking the crush might be real. I have these tight feelings in my chest and I’m perceiving them as romantic. Is it OCD or are these feelings actually real? I don’t know, but it scared me so much to think them real. The problem is is that I’ve always identified as straight and this crush is scaring me. I don’t want to have this crush. I’m also in a very happy and committed relationship with a man who I do love. Good news is that I won’t be seeing them anymore after the end of the month. It’s so hard not to go into my compulsions. I feel like a bad girlfriend and person. I’m also struggling with my identity…. Anyone have any advice?

hiitsemmy

Date posted: 1y

I know how you feel. I’m in the same situation! Its really hard to want to utilize your ERP skills when you’re ocd kicks in and you want to know if your obsession is real. I’m not sure how far along in ERP you are but you could try exposing yourself to the idea that “maybe I am gay, maybe I’m not. Either way im going to stay where I am. I do not need the answer now.” Or in your case “maybe I do like her, maybe I dont. But I am choosing to stay in my relationship.” I know that it is super hard to tell yourself this. Its going to spike your anxiety and you’ll want to distract yourself from the ERP. However, the point of ERP is to expose yourself to an obsession, sit with the anxiety, and resist any compulsions (such as checking). Sitting with the anxiety allows you to become desensitized to the thought in the future and you can recognize that its just a passing thought. Hope this helps:) also, dont listen to the other person who commented. They’re rude af and totally inconsiderate. You’re doing great.

savvyp

Date posted: 1y

@hiitsemmy Thank you very much! I do appreciate you and your comment! I know things are uncertain right now but hopefully all this will be a distant memory. Wishing you luck on your journey as well!

hiitsemmy

Date posted: 1y

@savvyp Thank you :) remember that just because you have a thought, it doesnt mean that its true.

savvyp

Date posted: 1y

@hiitsemmy Do you think the same can be said of feelings as well?

hiitsemmy

Date posted: 1y

@savvyp Yes absolutely. Your thoughts influence your emotions and feelings. Your feelings and emotions also influence your thoughts. You recognize that its there but it doesnt necessarily mean that its true. Also, over analyzing your feelings and trying to decide if they mean something is an OCD trait. Catch yourself when doing and try to resist associating feelings with truth.

e2222

Date posted: 22w

Relationship OCD?/am I just evil

I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.

violettag6

Date posted: 22w

so-ocd

So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 16w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

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