i’m sorry i’m posting so much but i’m really struggling tonight. i have to do the hardest compulsion which just doesn’t seem to be working. every time i finish it there’s doubts, anxiety, etc. it’s horrendously hard to get perfect. everytime i finish theres always something which was wrong which i need to fix. i’m really really upset and i could easily spend the whole night doing this. pls advise.
Remember compulsions reinforce themselves. Maybe try treating it like ERP? Sit with the urge to “perfect” your compulsion so you can build resistance to it.
@Anonymous i tried and just exploded and couldn’t take it anymore. i feel so guilty if i don’t keep trying to get a perfect one because i really believe it can be achieved if i keep trying- is that true?
Compulsions are not affected by logical thought. Any reassurance only delays the need to complete the compulsion again. Remember that OCD is egodystonic, meaning is is counter to the self. Your obsessions don’t define you.
@Anonymous how should i get over the feeling after stopping compulsions (high guilt, doubt, anxiety)
@Anonymous7779 You can find something or someone that’s unrelated to the trigger or the compulsion to distract yourself. I understand how difficult and anxiety-inducing it must be to sit with so much discomfort. Still, dwelling on it will only feed the anxiety & guilt beast
@fruitbat42069 sometimes i see posts abt ppl who spend hours doing their compulsions and end up getting it right- i feel so guilty and sad because i feel like i should be doing the same and i’m not as good as them bc i couldn’t get mine correct
@Anonymous7779 Wow, i’ve never even heard of that. That sounds like unhealthy enabling to me
@fruitbat42069 huh
it never comes out correct and i feel the need to spend the whole night perfecting it.
Oh also, sleep deprivation severely worsens my OCD. Maybe the rest will dampen the compulsion’s strength.
@Anonymous i slept well yesterday so i’m confused
How about the night before? I can sometimes have my symptoms delayed, and they can be caused by a disruption in sleep schedule rather than current lack of sleep
If you remember that your obsessions are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and not your real self, it can be easier to resist compulsions without reassurance.
@Anonymous but everytime i feel it’s me who’s making the mistake in the compulsion since i’m not meeting my own criteria
Here if you need someone to chat with
@Iloverowdy12 i need someone
@Anonymous7779 Do you have Insta
@Iloverowdy12 yea
@Anonymous7779 You can add me @katelynnkile
@Iloverowdy12 i added u, ty
@Anonymous7779 Message me!
@Iloverowdy12 r u able to chat here instead, my instagram doesn’t rlly work
@Anonymous7779 Yes what’s going on?
@Iloverowdy12 i was doing a compulsion and one of the criteria for my compulsion is that there can’t be an ant coming in the middle and after i finished it i had no doubts abt an ant being there but then around 10 mins later i saw an ant and i’m worried that the ant could have been there after i finished my compulsion or during the compulsion but i just didn’t notice
@Anonymous7779 i can’t remember if the ant was there during my compulsion and it can’t be for me to get the compulsion right. i didn’t see an ant during my compulsion but what if i saw wrong bc later, it appeared
i didn't get a response so i'm reposting, i'd really like another persons perspective... idk if what i write will make sense but i am scared of my ability to prolong and intensify / increase the vividness of the physical and mental feelings and thoughts i am experiencing to the point i think since i am doing something willingly that feels so horrific it makes me a bad person who did actually something bad. especially when this has to do with sxual thoughts that i absolutely despise. idk if it's a compulsion but it almost feels unavoidable (is it a compulsion?) let me explain like once my brain feels/knows i'm extra scared to imagine and feel something i get this anticipatory anxiety that just won't leave me alone until i undergo / get through what feels like the most disturbing, vivid level of my own thoughts and feelings and i can control that to a degree where i hyperfixate on my sensations and thoughts and it plays out and prolongs which feels so awful and real and then i'm like hold up i really just did that intentionally i feel traumatized and so grossed out. esp if i hold my breath for some reason i noticed my bodily feelings and mental images are more vivid and i feel so guilty for it. i've done so many exposures and i can't get over this fear of my own ability to purposefully be able to think really hard and manipulate the intensity of my most darkest thoughts that it disturbingly impacts both my body and mind, physical and mental reactions. is this common? is it a compulsion? what am i doing wrong and what should i do.
Bro I'm scared rn, so there was a compulsion I did like 2hrs ago and I didn't do it properly cuz I kept getting a thought saying "something is gonna come in Ur room and kill you or you will have this illness It triggers me to say it but I froze because I kept seeing like a shadow and cuz I was home alone and it's dark so I didn't answer it 😃 and cuz I answered it late saying obviously I don't want to illness I would rather have the other (half of me knows it's not real), and I prayed 4 times as well cuz I didn't do the compulsion properly I tried doing it again logs if times and 1 hour later I tried again but It still didn't feel right, and now the thought is hurting my body a little and I feel shivery, and I have tried doing the compulsion but it's not working. Why can't these thighs just leave me alone and stop saying about illnesses all the time. And idk how I'm gonna get thru the night cuz I can't get the thought out of my head and I won't be able to do anything properly.
This is a repost, only because the last post had no responses lol. Please if you have any advice share. I’ve been trying hard to sit with the feeling of anxiety. Actually that’s the problem, recently I’ve been trying to sit with the thought (and I’m able to for a few hours or until the next morning) and then my anxiety comes back so strong and it’s like I need to clean everything off. I see images of gross laundry getting on everything or my hand and then I need to clean everything off to un contaminate it. Sometimes the thought happens later at night so I just sleep through and the next morning I will wake up with intense anxiety about contamination. That happened yesterday and I had to clean everything off and since then I’ve been traumatized so I’ve been doing compulsions like avoiding the bathroom and being around people so I know I couldn’t have done anything wrong. Actually recently my biggest compulsion has been recording every time I get up to go eat, etc so that I know I couldn’t have done anything. Any advice or help???
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