Tough Mornings

@Paradisa When i woke up during night i have harm OCD thoughts and i have weird feelings in my stomach and then i think that i like these thoughts. I hate it.😔

@plechynator Don’t be your own enemy, you probably find comfort in thoughts like that because it feels like it makes sense but the feelings in your stomach is the anxiety that comes with that misguided comfort because you know it isn’t right so it feels weird and confusing. It seems like you’re very afraid of hurting people and believe it or not, that includes you. I’m sorry you’re waking up with harm OCD thoughts, that’s not peaceful at all.

@Paradisa Thanks, am lost, I can’t get these thoughts out of my head. Harm OCD is mi biggest problems. Sometimes i think that i like these thoughts etc..and i am scared I will become killer. Its exhausting😭😭

@plechynator You’re not a killer, you wouldn’t be a killer and your actions show more than your thoughts do. Your thoughts are a reflection of how you are feeling and your actions are a reflection of who you are. If you’re not violent? You’re okay. Just believe in yourself more and channel your energy into that believe in who you know you are ❤️

@Paradisa I am not violent. I always was sensitive. Since childhood i try to avoid criminal series, news atc. I hate horrors. It makes me more confused about my thoughts and about my personality. I cannot look at the mirror becouse i see monster in my eyes 🙁

@Paradisa And I often feel guilt when i let my thoughts go. Than i think they i like them. 😭 it’s complicated 😟😣

@plechynator You’re afraid of what you see but that’s not you! ABD it’s okay to be angry sometimes it’s just as much as an emotion as others, it’s not one to avoid, it’s one to channel it into something productive and good for you. Don’t convince yourself you’re apart of it because of any cross contamination

@Paradisa Sometimes i feel like I have anger issues, i feel guilty if i am angry and then i am afraid of doing something bad to someone.

@plechynator I believe your anger is just a build up and you’re not used to being heard or accepted. You’d never harm anyone on purpose, everyone has their hurtles and you won’t always be perfect

@Paradisa Thanks a lot!

@Paradisa Some people hurt me and maybe it’s still inside me. :(( i dont want to be angry😟 i don’t Like this feelings

@plechynator I understand, I hate those feelings when they come up because it feels like there’s nothing I can do about them and I wish it would just go away, but I also learned that the more you dislike and disregard your own feelings, the more you will inevitably feel upset at them because you’re not accepting your vulnerability. Sometimes you need to talk it out! And people make you feel bad for it but it’s true and I’m proud of you for being so open and I really appreciate you talking to me about it 🩷

@Paradisa I am really thankful for your message, do you have instagram?

@plechynator I do! It’s @para.disaaa text me anytime!

@Paradisa I sent you a request

@plechynator Hi! I was reading some old posts and came across yours. Are you still struggling? Your struggles sound similar to mine and I’d love to talk about it.