kmm342

Date posted: 1y

Am I stuck with OCD/intrusive thoughts forever?

I’ve suffered with OCD to some extent most of my life—rituals, counting, religious themes, etc. After some bad episodes of family abuse + a bad breakup + work toxicity, I developed some pretty bad OCD-related anxiety. I went through a few very bad panic attacks, and became badly depersonalized/dissacotiated. My obsessions and panic began to focus on my bodily sensations—like vertigo/dizziness, worry about floating into the sky forever, the ground falling, the ground disappearing, the ground warping/rotating, etc. I’ve been applying the 4-Step process by Jeffrey Schwartz, and it’s been very very helpful in snapping back to reality and preventing anxiety/panic cycles. So I got his book—Brain Lock. In the preface he talks about a woman who seemingly recovered after 25 years, but still has these thoughts. My question is: Will I be stuck like this forever? The very nature of my thoughts make it very difficult to live happily. I felt discouraged reading that, because it feels like I’ll always have these thoughts and be doomed to undergoing this anxiety/OCD cycle forever. Is there any hope?

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Ocd does not 100 percent go away but it is very treatable as in you can get the point your thoughts do not affect you anymore, you learn to just ignore and forget your ocd thoughts. I have done that with some of my ocd thoughts and others I am working getting to that point. It is like you have the thoughts and you do not care or get bothered by them anymore , you just keep going on with your day. It is hard and takes a lot work and time to treat ocd but it very treatable. I hope this helped.

kmm342

Date posted: 1y

@Brooke cookie I appreciate the responses you and others have thoughtfully written out. But it’s distressing to hear that it can’t 100% go away. I’m having trouble seeing what a cure or recovery would look like. I get plagued with these awful thoughts of the ground/environment. Will the future just be me being inundated with these thoughts and feeling the black out of despair and anxiety, leading to panic? Then having few moments of respite when I apply the 4 steps? It just feels awful and I want the hope and optimism that I can once again enjoy life and see things anxiety-free and clearly without the DPDR.

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@kmm342 Well, OCD does not fully go away. It can become almost like a random thought that does not to stress you and almost like you don’t even have a OCD anymore. For example, a couple years ago I was able to do this with my harm ocd and now, when I have the thoughts, which I don’t have very often maybe once a month or something they don’t upset me and I kind of forget about them. It’s like I don’t have that type of OCD anymore and it’s wonderful. My depression got worse and I am in the process of figuring out life so unfortunately I did relapse and get an OCD were afraid you’re gonna hurt yourself, but I am treating it and slowly getting better. And what I meant to say is OCD kind of slowly fade into the background and slowly stop bothering you when you treat it. you have to be careful that when life stresses you out that you realize if it is starting to come back so that you don’t relapse like I did. But you definitely can get to the point where you don’t feel anxiety or stress from the OCD anymore I had one year where I was doing great and it basically was like I didn’t have OCD for year. It was wonderful.

kmm342

Date posted: 1y

@Brooke cookie Thank you for your kind words. I suffer from anxiety and depression as well. The anxiety and DPDR is the worst part of it for me though. It’s difficult, but I’ll continue at the techniques, therapy and pray I get through this.

kmm342

Date posted: 1y

@kmm342 I hope you do too. You’ve beaten it before. I’m sure you will again.

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@kmm342 Depending on what you’re obsessions are I feel like that’s a unfortunately a byproduct of OCD is suffering from anxiety and depression. I feel like my OCD leaves me with severe depression.

kmm342

Date posted: 1y

@Brooke cookie Do you take medication for it and does it help?

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@kmm342 I do and it does help me become less stuck on my ocd. Meds greatly help me push through my ocd to do work and other tasks. I would still recommend working treating your ocd by not doing compulsions and learning to not react to you ocd. There are many way to treat ocd but ERP is known to be the most effective for ocd. I do ERP with meds , I did just meds for a long time, I do not recommend that , if I was you I would do both , learning how cope with your ocd will greatly help you.

kmm342

Date posted: 1y

@Brooke cookie I think the problem that complicates things for me is that I have chronic DPDR—possibly related to hypothyroidism and low T from my recent blood test. So I constantly feel this “buzz” of general anxiety and get fixated if it builds on irrational feelings like floating through the air/ground disappearing, etc. I’m afraid of the meds side effects exacerbating this. I even have a Klonopin bottle I’ve never used because I’m afraid lol

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@kmm342 I would talk to a doctor about any side affects and possible meditation options. I am not a doctor so I can not say for sure what medication are safe to use with hypothyroidism and low T and DPDR but a doctor should be able tell about any side affects and try to pick out medication that will hopefully have less side affects. They most likely want give a drug the will help increase dopamine hormone levels to treat ocd , which there a-couple medication options hopefully a doctor can find out that will be safe for you to use. A lot those medications have been around for a long time so ,many studies have been done on them so hopefully your doctor could give you a good answer. I wish could help you more but I am not a doctor, I really don’t know what side effects you could be facing with your other medical conditions . I only understand the basics of the meditations used for treating ocd.

kmm342

Date posted: 1y

@Brooke cookie Appreciated. I’ll talk things through with a doctor for the time being.

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Decades of OCD..confused about my next steps!!!

I have had ocd for decades! Could I still be cured???? (Of you can call it that?) I have seen different therapists but it never had fully left me...not by any stretch of the imagination. I do want to be free of this ocd and its power over me and all the bad that it brought into my life!!! Some days I am strong and feel like I am fighting it put other days...many days...I don't get things done or if I do I take a long time to-do the things I need to get done. I feel like I know this is just then ocd stopping me and that these are just thoughts but nobody in my family understands and though they have shared my journey and hated it a I do.....it just feels like I want so bad to be the best person I coukd be but I avoid places, people, things, that have any reminder of my ocd.......and so it restricts me from getting better and completing tasks the way I used to. Now UI might go and make 2-3 trips cuz I am worried to shop at a place and therefore it takes my time up. The avoidance I do is bad! When I actually don't listen to my ocd and don't avoid something...I feel great! ,However, it happens so rarely!!! I.dont know how finding a therapist through NOCD will help me. It is not in person and two be honest I almost think I need medicine to push me along. I don't have anybsteady and consistent improvements. However, I don't think I want to be on medication for the rest of my life! I am very confused!

anonymous2580

Date posted: 22w

Does it really get better?

I’ve been dealing with ocd my whole life, and just got diagnosed about a year ago. I feel my days becoming occupied with thoughts, urges, fears and worry that completely debilitate me. It’s getting to the point where i feel like it’s taking over my life. I don’t see this getting any better, even with the therapy and medication I’m on. I’m scared my life will be like this forever, I’m tired. My brain is tired of ruminating every second of every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I’m not sure how much longer I can go on like this.

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Feel lost and without hope

I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.

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