I just want to feel normal again. My new theme is destroying me. I feel so lost and I just needed to say it somewhere. I'm glad this group exists. One of my few comforts has been knowing I'm not completely alone.
Keep your head up, I’m in a similar space and know how excruciating it can get. Neither of us are alone though and there’s someone in your same predicament, we will all get there if we don’t give up.
i understand what you’re feeling, i’m so tired and i really feel like i don’t want to be here anymore, i’ve been dealing with this for like two months and i feel really lost and sad, i’m angry with myself and i don’t even know why
@malolin_21 Hang in there. I’ve dealt with tons of harm OCD and I get it! You are not alone. Remember, it’s not about the content. You would be afraid of harming yourself today and afraid of something totally different tomorrow. It’s just about whatever feels most unforgivable and audacious in your mind. Try thinking about one of your fears on purpose— tell yourself “I want the anxiety, I want to feel uncomfortable, bring it on, it’s just a feeling”. When you take away the forbidden aspect of it, it diminishes its power. I encourage you to read the different articles NOCD posts about this. I also recommend the book “stopping the noise in your head”, both changed my life! You got this 💪
@L_e_d i feel like my life is over
my main theme is harm ocd and i really feel tired all the time, i don’t know how to be alone anymore and i hate when i’m in my own house
It's debilitating I know. I understand how you feel. Alone and scared. OCD is exhausting. Just know you aren't alone. I wish I had a magic wand and could help all of us going thru this
Do you care to elaborate more on your situation?
I have been through multiple themes usually contamination and relationship, I've also had some magical realism. But now I'm struggling with pocd and this is by the worst one I have ever went through. I know the thoughts are intrusive and not my fault. I know that my brain is deliberately trying to distress me. But I still feel disgusting. It's effecting everything.
Hi again :c I’ve been having terrible thoughts of hurting my loved ones I’ve stopped watching horror movies which is my favorite genre and can’t even watch or read anything related to violence even if it’s just a video or movie talking about it, I get triggered so fast I really miss feeling that relief with my mom I miss my mom so much and I just don’t know what to do anymore I almost committed last weekend from how scared I was and Ik your thinking will you try again? idk I’m not sure, one day I might say “no” next I’ll plan it out, but truth be told I don’t want to die I want to live a normal life, I want to stay with my mom and my family, I love my family and my grandma and my older brother..I’m so sick of feeling this feeling, I’m tired of arguing with my brain, I want to be with my mom and spend time with her like I used to, but I can’t stand that thought of hurting them it makes me shake and I feel this pain in my chest, my OCD has been trying to convince me all those crime docs and stuff I’m into turned me this way but that’s impossible since I’ve never thought like this before I’m just tired that’s all Idek know what I’m looking for saying this..prolly just to vent or to know if this will ever go away..
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
Not sure what to say. Just that I am so tired of dealing with OCD - I’ve had it for most of my life and as a 40 something woman, I’m exhausted. I’m tired of being misunderstood and mistreated. I’m tired of seeing relationships that I have dwindle bc my friends and family are overwhelmed with my ruminations and reassurance. I’m embarrassed bc I overwhelm my friends and family with whom I’ve trusted my personal thoughts with and I keep thinking that they can help me through stuff only to be let down. I’ve yet to meet another mind like mines who is complicated but trying to survive because I have children and want to see them grow. I’m tired of feeling defeated because someone took advantage of me and my thoughts. It’s so exhausting but I’m ready to try this because I know I need help. Not sure if this is triggering I’m just ranting bc I’m so lost.
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