I just want to feel normal again. My new theme is destroying me. I feel so lost and I just needed to say it somewhere. I'm glad this group exists. One of my few comforts has been knowing I'm not completely alone.
Keep your head up, I’m in a similar space and know how excruciating it can get. Neither of us are alone though and there’s someone in your same predicament, we will all get there if we don’t give up.
i understand what you’re feeling, i’m so tired and i really feel like i don’t want to be here anymore, i’ve been dealing with this for like two months and i feel really lost and sad, i’m angry with myself and i don’t even know why
@malolin_21 Hang in there. I’ve dealt with tons of harm OCD and I get it! You are not alone. Remember, it’s not about the content. You would be afraid of harming yourself today and afraid of something totally different tomorrow. It’s just about whatever feels most unforgivable and audacious in your mind. Try thinking about one of your fears on purpose— tell yourself “I want the anxiety, I want to feel uncomfortable, bring it on, it’s just a feeling”. When you take away the forbidden aspect of it, it diminishes its power. I encourage you to read the different articles NOCD posts about this. I also recommend the book “stopping the noise in your head”, both changed my life! You got this 💪
@L_e_d i feel like my life is over
my main theme is harm ocd and i really feel tired all the time, i don’t know how to be alone anymore and i hate when i’m in my own house
It's debilitating I know. I understand how you feel. Alone and scared. OCD is exhausting. Just know you aren't alone. I wish I had a magic wand and could help all of us going thru this
Do you care to elaborate more on your situation?
I have been through multiple themes usually contamination and relationship, I've also had some magical realism. But now I'm struggling with pocd and this is by the worst one I have ever went through. I know the thoughts are intrusive and not my fault. I know that my brain is deliberately trying to distress me. But I still feel disgusting. It's effecting everything.
I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately, like I’m not even living my own life. It’s like I’m being controlled by someone else, and I have no say in what’s happening. It’s hard to put this feeling into words, but it’s like I’m here physically, but mentally, I’m just... not. Every day feels like a struggle. I wake up afraid of what’s coming next, almost like I’m bracing myself for the next bad thing to happen. Sometimes, I don’t even want to get out of bed because it feels pointless, like I’m stuck in this loop of fear and doubt. I keep questioning everything, life, my purpose, my choices, and it’s exhausting. I just want to feel like myself again, to feel like I have control, like I’m really here.
I feel so freaking scared. I know I’ll have an intrusive thought/urge and whatever I know I’m going to fight off another compulsion until I eventually give in bc I’m still so new to this. I am petrified and I feel like I cannot for the life of me relax. I’m sleep deprived, in a terrible place hormonally, withdrawing from meds, and being treated like a burden by people around me. I literally feel like I can’t do this. I keep thinking about those posts where people talk about the hypothetical scenarios where you learn your death date. I feel like if someone told me I’d die soon, I would cry of relief. I would never hurt myself but boy do I not want to experience this anymore.
TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me
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