I just want to feel normal again. My new theme is destroying me. I feel so lost and I just needed to say it somewhere. I'm glad this group exists. One of my few comforts has been knowing I'm not completely alone.
Keep your head up, I’m in a similar space and know how excruciating it can get. Neither of us are alone though and there’s someone in your same predicament, we will all get there if we don’t give up.
i understand what you’re feeling, i’m so tired and i really feel like i don’t want to be here anymore, i’ve been dealing with this for like two months and i feel really lost and sad, i’m angry with myself and i don’t even know why
@malolin_21 Hang in there. I’ve dealt with tons of harm OCD and I get it! You are not alone. Remember, it’s not about the content. You would be afraid of harming yourself today and afraid of something totally different tomorrow. It’s just about whatever feels most unforgivable and audacious in your mind. Try thinking about one of your fears on purpose— tell yourself “I want the anxiety, I want to feel uncomfortable, bring it on, it’s just a feeling”. When you take away the forbidden aspect of it, it diminishes its power. I encourage you to read the different articles NOCD posts about this. I also recommend the book “stopping the noise in your head”, both changed my life! You got this 💪
@L_e_d i feel like my life is over
my main theme is harm ocd and i really feel tired all the time, i don’t know how to be alone anymore and i hate when i’m in my own house
It's debilitating I know. I understand how you feel. Alone and scared. OCD is exhausting. Just know you aren't alone. I wish I had a magic wand and could help all of us going thru this
Do you care to elaborate more on your situation?
I have been through multiple themes usually contamination and relationship, I've also had some magical realism. But now I'm struggling with pocd and this is by the worst one I have ever went through. I know the thoughts are intrusive and not my fault. I know that my brain is deliberately trying to distress me. But I still feel disgusting. It's effecting everything.
Anyone else feel that when they aren’t experiencing a theme that their ocd is almost non existent. It almost makes me feel like I’ve been faking it, and also makes me feel ridiculous for obsessing over things. I feel sorry for myself :/ I know that my themes are valid and felt very real in the moment, but after I “get over” them I just can’t believe that I was obsessing over something that either wasn’t true or didn’t apply to me. I would also like to know how to prevent themes from reoccurring. Health, religion and existential OCD themes tend to take turns throughout my life, I just didn’t know that was it ocd. Trying to break the cycle.
I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(
Not sure what to say. Just that I am so tired of dealing with OCD - I’ve had it for most of my life and as a 40 something woman, I’m exhausted. I’m tired of being misunderstood and mistreated. I’m tired of seeing relationships that I have dwindle bc my friends and family are overwhelmed with my ruminations and reassurance. I’m embarrassed bc I overwhelm my friends and family with whom I’ve trusted my personal thoughts with and I keep thinking that they can help me through stuff only to be let down. I’ve yet to meet another mind like mines who is complicated but trying to survive because I have children and want to see them grow. I’m tired of feeling defeated because someone took advantage of me and my thoughts. It’s so exhausting but I’m ready to try this because I know I need help. Not sure if this is triggering I’m just ranting bc I’m so lost.
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