Constantly struggling with the thought of "Am I a pedophile?" I have never harmed a child but have had horrible thoughts. Where's the line? If I have to ask does that mean I am one? Feeling suicidal and in need of support.
I can promise you you're not a pedophile and the fact you're feeling suicidal because of the thought should assure you that you are not. Please don't give up try to let the thoughts pass like clouds and simply just thank your brain for protecting you the less you react to the thoughts I promise they'll come up less and less. You got this š¤
Itās my understanding that a pedophile is someone who enjoys these type of thoughts! So the fact that you are horrified by these thoughts and find them stressful proves your not! Iāve struggled with this as well and can be hard to treat! But there just thoughts and itās the fear that keeps them alive. I have a name for my ocd and thatās seemore, what I get an intrusive thought I say ok seemore there you are again trying to mess with me again! Try and make light of these thoughts and take the power away from themā¦
I'm posting something after a long. I have multiple Ocd themes and my main themes of sexual ocd is incest Ocd and Hocd and POCD has never been so active but today something happened that has been bothering me for a while. I was traveling in a bus and there I saw a kid/young teen. When I saw him, I instantly found him so attractive and then BOOM.. I started feeling like I'm attracted to him. I felt confused. I literally found him attractive and also thought that he would look really fine after growing up his face was so attractive but I don't want to be into him at all. I feel like I'm so much into him. I'm feeling very bothered by this feeling. I feel like I'm in denial and I should accept my attraction towards him. I don't want to feel this way at all. I don't understand what to do, how to figure out this feeling. I'm 99% sure that there was an underlying attraction I felt when I looked at him and realized that he is good looking. I feel like dying from inside and extremely confused. He's not in my bus now and I feel urges to just see him once to finally figure out that I'm into him or not but he is not here. I think I'm a pedophile which I don't want to be and everything is finished now, nothing would be same in my mind because I'm so paranoid and feeling like I'm into him. Please somebody help me and let me know if anyone of you has ever felt this way having POCD.
So I just read a Reddit post about how this guy found out that he was a pedo because of how he started feeling that he was still attracted to middle schoolers as a 14 year old in high school and it never changed even when he got into adulthood. Iām currently under the age of 16 and Iām worried of my attraction feelings I felt towards some kids Iāve seen on social media and real life, Iām not sure if they are false or not. I have gotten a diagnosis, I remember lying on 2 questions, saying I didnāt feel aroused and that i donāt enjoy the thoughts n feelings. Iām not sure if i enjoy the thoughts and feelings, and now im worried i about it, i dont feel worry dread panic or shame and disgust when I get those thoughts and feelings anymore. I also remember that when i was 14 I felt attracted to a 12 or 11 year old, i kept going back to look at her idk why, but i think that i was worried because I didnāt want to be attracted to younger aged ppl. Im worried that all of these feelings of attraction arenāt false and that they are a reflection of who i am. I do not wish to be a pedo, nor do I wish to like kids. I know that I wonāt hurt kids, but Iām scared that I am a pedo because of the feelings I get. I donāt understand myself anymore, I hope itās pocd not actual pedophilia, I donāt trust that diagnosis I got because of those 2 questions I lied on, I said that i donāt like those thoughts n feelings even though I donāt know if I really do or not, can someone please help me? Idk what I have anymore, I donāt want it to be pedophilia
so Iāve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that Iāve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the āmaybeāorāi donāt knowā isnāt working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that Iām afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there itāll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is whatās keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. Itās also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when Iām cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. itās almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know itās wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i canāt control these urges even though iāve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. Iāve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friendās boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
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