Constantly struggling with the thought of "Am I a pedophile?" I have never harmed a child but have had horrible thoughts. Where's the line? If I have to ask does that mean I am one? Feeling suicidal and in need of support.
I can promise you you're not a pedophile and the fact you're feeling suicidal because of the thought should assure you that you are not. Please don't give up try to let the thoughts pass like clouds and simply just thank your brain for protecting you the less you react to the thoughts I promise they'll come up less and less. You got this š¤
Itās my understanding that a pedophile is someone who enjoys these type of thoughts! So the fact that you are horrified by these thoughts and find them stressful proves your not! Iāve struggled with this as well and can be hard to treat! But there just thoughts and itās the fear that keeps them alive. I have a name for my ocd and thatās seemore, what I get an intrusive thought I say ok seemore there you are again trying to mess with me again! Try and make light of these thoughts and take the power away from themā¦
so Iāve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that Iāve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the āmaybeāorāi donāt knowā isnāt working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that Iām afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there itāll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is whatās keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. Itās also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when Iām cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. itās almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know itās wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i canāt control these urges even though iāve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. Iāve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friendās boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
I know I'm not attracted to children, there's no proof I am and no indication that I am. Yet why do I still get these sexual intrusive thoughts? Why do I still feel so uncomfortable? Why do I feel disgusting, distressed and confused when I get them? Why do I get them in the first place yet I still don't feel anxious enough? I'm really confused about this. I'm not going to do anything to a child or think of a child that way yet at the same time It gets all over in my mind. Is it just me like uncovering some attraction to children that was buried and where would it even come from I've always been attracted to men that are older than me (not like grandpas or something but 1-6 years older) so why the hell am I even getting these thoughts now? I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want this to happen. It feels I'm betraying everyone especially myself
18+ TW! POCD Is this still Pocd. Iām so scared For example, Iāll be feeling aroused over a child and feel genuinely aroused like I want the arousal and Iāll stop forcing it to not come because in the moment it feels like I want it in the moment so alllow the arousal to happen. Another example is Iāll feel aroused over a kid and my ocd will say make your blanket touch your private areas for a feeling over kids and Iāll do it in the moment because I feel aroused over the intrusive thought of the child. Another example is Iāll even think āyes I want this arousal over the childā and in the moment it feels like I want it I hate all of this after and do many compultions
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
