Constantly struggling with the thought of "Am I a pedophile?" I have never harmed a child but have had horrible thoughts. Where's the line? If I have to ask does that mean I am one? Feeling suicidal and in need of support.
It’s my understanding that a pedophile is someone who enjoys these type of thoughts! So the fact that you are horrified by these thoughts and find them stressful proves your not! I’ve struggled with this as well and can be hard to treat! But there just thoughts and it’s the fear that keeps them alive. I have a name for my ocd and that’s seemore, what I get an intrusive thought I say ok seemore there you are again trying to mess with me again! Try and make light of these thoughts and take the power away from them…
I can promise you you're not a pedophile and the fact you're feeling suicidal because of the thought should assure you that you are not. Please don't give up try to let the thoughts pass like clouds and simply just thank your brain for protecting you the less you react to the thoughts I promise they'll come up less and less. You got this 🤍
POCD sufferers: does anyone else have thoughts that they agree with pedophelia? My brain is telling me that pedophiles can’t help who they’re attracted to, so we should just allow them to be with who they want to be with? It’s horrible. And I feel like if I allow these thoughts that I’m going to start believing them. Someone please help, my anxiety is through the roof.
So pedophile OCD... Im too ashamed to admit it to anyone. So I guess even this is a big step. But I do get intrusive sexual thoughts about kids. When I have been around kids I get thoughts like "what if actually did anything inappropriate". And if Im being sexual intrusive thoughts about pedophilia blasts me. So I stop and then I think what if this means I actually like kids. But what Ive been wondering, and its not meant to be reassurance seeking. I guess there isnt actually anything wrong with being a pedophile (they cant help it) as long as they never act on it. But isnt having thoughts about touching kids inappropriately, pedophilic in itself? Or is it literally just the definition of OCD? I kind of think that some thoughts shouldnt be possible to think unless its something to it.
Im sorry for a long post but I'm very scared Prior to few weeks ago I didn't have any sexual thoughts regarding children EVER, and if I did then I really can't remember. But ever since I started worrying about the possibility that I might be attracted to them, I just felt severely awful. And it's getting worse and worse overtime. What started as just me worrying that I might be attracted to kids has now turned into a deep belief that there is a very dark and real part of me that is, in fact, a pedophile. I even started having intrusive but pleasurable fantasies about children and it's driving me absolutely sick. I really wish that it's just a very extreme form of POCD and not actually me turning into a monster, but with each passing day my hope is fading away, replaced with pure disgust in myself and unwillingness to live like this. Has anyone here ever went through something similar?
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