What if I can’t do it again?

I’ve been on a healing journey, I’m still on it and trying to figure myself out. The thing is, I had my heart absolutely smashed to pieces and I’ve been trying to put it back together and I have been successful, it’s just I’ve now convinced myself I’ll never be able to like a man again. I’m scared I’m not gonna be attracted to anyone after this, that I’m always gonna think about him when I’m with another man. What if it’s made me not like men anymore? I don’t fancy woman so what am I gonna do? I had planned to meet up with a guy of tinder today, but suddenly got so many fears in my head that it freaked me out and I had to cancel. As well as that my period started, so it was like my body was saying I’m not ready, but what if it’s my body saying you don’t like men. I do like men so so much, I know I do, but what if this one guy has completely destroyed me ever trusting or fully liking a man again. I can’t do it. I want to be loved and be held, I want to explore and date people without this guilt hanging over me, because unfortunately I still have feelings for this other guy so now all I can do is just feel guilty. During the talking stage I’m fine, but then when I get asked out or anything like that I freak out and say no. I wanna be the confident girl I once was with no care,and I know time heals but I’m getting exhausted now

VGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I’m sorry you’re struggling ❤️. These things are tough, be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel sad and to heal. All of the fears and “what if” thoughts are going to come, you can’t control what pops in your mind, however, you can control how you respond. Do your best to not engage with these thoughts/fears, acknowledge that they’re there, but choose to focus on something else you value. Try your best to not ruminate on these thought/fears. Little by little start doing value-driven behaviors, building the life you want. Allow time to pass, you will get there❤️

mimi3v

Date posted: 1y

Oh hon… I wish you could see the strength that we, the people who see this post, see. Your progress is so important, the little steps, like admitting your feelings, and TRYING. The fact that you are trying. That is something that is so important. You want to heal. This is your first step. Letting go of someone you love or used to love is one of the hardest damn things a human can do, if not the hardest. There’s no really good advice I can give you except to take the time to love YOURSELF. Focus on you, and if dating/dating apps feel overwhelming, then maybe step back, or try and make new friends instead of diving into relationships so you can form more intimate connections before involving yourself in someone’s life so seriously. While you are working on yourself, if these people are true friends, then they will stick with you through thick and thin. And, to answer your question about liking men, if you know that you are attracted to them; then you for sure are. Our bodies like to confuse us sometimes and send the wrong signals at the wrong times which can mess with our OCD and make us overthink our true feelings. I hope I covered enough and you find at least some of this helpful. You’ve got this ❤️❤️

miku -_-

Date posted: 22w

Can’t sleep

I’m just full of emotions right now. I feel like I just want to explode. I broke up with my ex a week ago he keeps texting me saying I love you I don’t respond because I don’t pay no mind. What’s bothering me is why did I let this dude use me and I trusted him. He manipulated and used me and I have serious trust issues I never tell anyone what I go through because it’s not safe at all. I feel like I don’t want to trust a guy ever again yes I’m 19 and I’m still young and should date but I don’t have the energy anymore. I attract terrible men that use me and I cave in to easy because I’m lonely and my life is miserable and even doing the things I used to like feel like a chore. I told my sister this today and she said I should be patient that the right man will come to me. But I feel like even if he did I would reject him because I’m an easy person to take advantage of.

Meg4n

Date posted: 17w

so-ocd seems to be flaring up again

I haven’t posted on here in a few days because I was feeling better but the past two days I’ve climbed my way back down the rabbit hole it seems. There’s this guy that I’m interested in and he seems to be interested in me. He keeps calling me pretty and how he’d like to meet me (he’s friends with my friends but I haven’t met him properly yet lmao) But I keep getting thoughts like “you’re not interested, you like women” and so on. I was feeling giddy about the whole thing up until two days ago where everything just seemed to shut off like my attraction, excitement and so on. I can’t believe I’m going through this again and I’m really trying to accept the thoughts but it’s so debilitating as I really want a bf but my brain keeps passing through thoughts that I do not want at all. Does anyone relate? Or have any coping strategies to help?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Meg4n

Date posted: 14w

Going crazy

My feelings are everywhere at the moment and i can’t think straight. I’ve recently started talking to a boy and I’ve met up with him twice. He’s a lovely guy and I think I do like him but idk if I’m attracted to him atm he’s not really my exact type and that’s what’s driving me crazy because what if I’m in denial about my “sexuality” and I’m lying to myself? And I’m panicking like mad because everything is going so fast that I can’t think straight. I’ve never really been in this situation before. He’s also being really kind to me and I know he likes me so his intentions are clear but that’s what’s scary, whenever he messages me now I feel overwhelmed 😭 If anyone has experienced this could you share your experience? Thank you.

Sexual Orientation OCD

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