For anyone that has improved their self esteem:

Does telling yourself the opposite of what you think over and over really work? I often see that in search results and videos, self compassion and kindness helps revert the thoughts. I saw a video of a man that spoke about his experience with low self esteem and he said that telling yourself good things for 2 weeks got him to improve his self esteem. Is that really true? Is that all it takes? I've tried to tell myself things about certain situations that have happened and it helped in the moment but I went right back to thinking how I usually do.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

Comment deleted by user

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

Well, I don't believe them at all right now. I was sort of hoping that if I said them enough times I would end up believing them. Sort of like how the negative thoughts come up so much that I ended up believing those.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@Izzy5600 So the videos and search results are true? If I just tell myself good affirmations and the opposite of what my thoughts say, it will improve my self esteem?

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@Izzy5600 Okay, I'll try it. Thank you. If it doesn't work, therapy will.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

It might work but I think actions are far more important. Try to act like someone with high self esteem and confidence and belief will follow. Be careful not to turn this into an OCD thing

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

I could try that as well. So far I've been trying to tell myself to be positive when it comes to my ways of thinking and not judge how they operate right away. It's kind of working. Only ways I could think of how to act with high self esteem is to do things that my anxiety would normally stop me from doing.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 Also, if you’re working with a therapist to overcome your OCD, then self esteem naturally rises when your OCD improves, assuming that’s the cause of your lower confidence. That has been my experience.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous OCD is a big factor in it, but I'm not sure if there are others. I've had bad experiences in my past that caused my low self esteem and I don't think my self esteem was ever at a good level. The OCD is basically the non-stop, irritating reminder of my low self esteem that makes it much worse.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 I hear you. I will leave you with some additional thoughts, simply because I can relate to what you’re going through to some extent: Everyone has low self esteem at times so it’s not like you’re an anomaly and it’s even more common among those with OCD. Even the most successful people have imposter syndrome frequently. What some of them do differently is fake the confidence, which results in higher confidence. Not just acting against anxiety but think more in terms of acting on things you care about or value. What are your goals, both small and large? Don’t allow negative self talk prevent you from doing things you truly care about or from progressing towards your goals.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I think faking confidence will take a lot of practice for me. I don't know how good I'll be at that. The things I value the most are the very same things I have trouble focusing on in life. My career in computer programming, how I treat others (which should be the same way how I treat myself) and college.

nae nae

Date posted: 19w

"I am" statements?

Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! 🤍

megan22

Date posted: 16w

Faking it until you make it

Has anyone had success “faking it until you make it” with discomfort? I’m having compulsions to check all my passwords and accounts and logging into every website I can recall from grocery shopping to tv subscriptions etc and coming up with all these insane scenarios that something’s not right and I’ve forgotten something I’ve done wrong and don’t know if I have or haven’t and if I can’t find the answers then my life is ruined and it’s stolen 4 months of my life. I’m exhausted. I am choosing to just stop and I am around family today and feeling like I’m dying insane. Has anyone had success faking it until you make it with compulsions? I’m really battling real event and false memory here and the lines are so blurred. I need help, my family can’t take my reassurance seeking anymore and I’m at my breaking point with feeling alone. I’ve lost every person I trust in this battles support for now. I know they love me but they can’t take it and I’m really down today and the compulsions and obsessive thoughts aren’t stopping and I don’t know how to just be in everyday life right now when my mind is so loud.

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Mental compulsions

So I've been working to address my OCD for about a month now. So far, I haven't been working on it with a therapist and have instead been trying to create my own exposure exercises. The primary obsession I'm working on is the fear that I'm somehow flawed or invalid on a fundamental level. The best way I can describe it it is that its similar to the feeling you get when you have germ OCD and you feel contaminated, except my whole existence and being feels contaminated, so to speak. I've identified a list of triggers, and a list of compulsions (pretty much all mental) that I've noticed myself performing. I started out by doing imaginal exposures and scripts where I'd write out triggering fictional scenarios and read them over and over, combined with mindfulness techniques to focus on my breath and bring myself back to the present when I noticed myself performing compulsions mentally. At first it worked to some extent, but eventually I started to feel like the stories I was writing about this obsession weren't triggering any anxiety anymore or a very low level. So I stopped reading them and focused solely on improving my ability to stay present and identifying compulsions as I perform them, and disengaging. Now, I'm at the point where it seems like my general anxiety levels throughout the day are lower, and the triggers I've identified are producing noticeably less anxiety. But that makes me wonder if somehow I'm just secretly doing mental compulsions without knowing it? Is only a month of rather disorganized and unstructured ERP enough to produce this much improvement? To avoid giving me re-assurance, I'd appreciate if you guys don't directly answer those questions, maybe just provide some possibilities or your own experiences so I can get a better idea of where I'm at. Any info would be appreciated. Thanks!

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