So-ocd kick up.

Because it isn't, and it isn't me. I don't have a problem with it being "a bad thing". I just know it isn't me. It makes me uncomfortable. And I've been getting the same sex response in every situation I seem to put myself in. I end up being so hyperaware and create a mess in my head. I'm not good a describing what I mea without it coming across how it does. Plus, it's always been guys. And now my anxiety is shooting up from your comment.

@Jomitzy I think what shes getting at is by not looking at sexual attraction as completely black and white, one way or the other, youll be able to recover from soocd. I recovered from soocd by doing just that. Of course by also stopping compulsions to neutralize the terrible anxiety. But also by saying you know what, i might enjoy sex with that guy, hes very effeminate and looks good, but i would much prefer a woman. I aint marrying another dude nor could i have a romantic fall in love connection with another dude, but i might enjoy sex with him idk. In other words, stop telling yourself one way or the other. An ocd therapist will put you through a bunch of lesbian exposure like movies, porn, internet chat, etc to condition you to the stimuli. What they are taught not to do is assure you are a 100 percent heterosexual woman who could NEVER EVER EVER like another girl.

@Jomitzy My ocd counselor once said in all the people he helped with soocd, all of them seemed like heterosexual people. The problem is we arent willing to expose ourselves to the necessary stimuli because it goes against our true self or how we view ourselves. But if we continue to expose ourselves to the stimuli without performing compulsions to neutralize the anxiety, over time you will become desensitized. Youll look at other women and think ehh she is pretty cute but you wont have any anxiety. The goal of erp for soocd is to kill the anxiety, not the thoughts or groinal response. The anxiety and panic attacks are the problem.

@Ifiknewthen I understand what you mean. I just know I wouldn't either. Do they do the same with POCD and Harm too? Not guarantee that you are 100% any of those? Because those come up with me too, and SOCD.

@Jomitzy I dont know anything about pocd. Ive never had that. Im not acting like im proud to not have ever had that. Just saying i never had that. Not sure what the research shows on that. Like what would cause someone to have that. Soocd and pocd are different because obviously sex between two adults is perfectly legal and pedophilia is highly illegal. So i can imagine the pain someone goes through who has pocd. Ive never read specific causes of that. I used to have some of that harm ocd when i was a kid but i also wasnt given antidepressant meds when i was a kid. Antidepressants help me a lot. I take paxil. But whatever form of ocd it is, they want to desensitize you to the subject. So you have to be honest with your therapist with whats bothering you no matter how awful or strange it is and then do what they tell you to do. Its not easy. A lot of patients wont do it. They want to find a different solution. And usually that solution is some kind of compulsion.

@Jomitzy I certainly did not intend that - I guess I’m not good at describing what I mean… I think “Ifiknewthen” got it right for me. Lots of love to you. ❤️