- Date posted
- 1y
ROCD and obsessing about attachment styles
Ok, couldn’t find anywhere someone who has had a similar ROCD experience! My boyfriend is a wonderful person, genuinly! But I think we have different attachment styles where he is the avoidant and I would say I am fearful avoidant leaning more into fearful! And he can’t give me everything I need emotionally because it is just who he is - but also my fearful side made me constantly look for security and love in other people rather than myself. So I started having all kinds of thoughts : - what if we are not compatible - what if this isn’t ROCD but I just don’t love him - what if I never get my feelings back - what if this resentment is not ROCD but truly because he is not the right for me - what if I have to leave him - what if I have fallen out of love I have had ROCD episodes in the past but now it seems more complex because I was researching and researching and found that avoidant and anxious (fearful/avoidant) don’t go together and that it will never work out! I feel like most of the time I keep hurting my own feelings by thinking about him or our relationship in a certain way but also keep blaming him for the way I feel! Also, ruminating on real problems and incompatibilies we have in our relationship makes me anxious because most of the things I read people deal with are somehow silly to me because they are not obsessing about such “CRUCIAL” things… or is that just the way my brain sees it? I obsess about our intimacy and lack of sex lately and all kinds of things! Is this just me with ROCD or does anyone else deal with this? My OCD episode started in February and it just keeps switching themes and now it’s ROCD and it’s one of the toughest so far. Started with psychosis and schizo OCD, then HARM OCD, then POCD and now ROCD! It’s torture!