ROCD

@Swift19!89! The problem I have is that it’s not something he can necessarily change, so why would I bring up those flaws with him just to hurt his feelings and potentially damage the relationship. Plus I don’t want him to feel the need to change who he is for me, I want to be able to accept him for who he is, I just worry because it feels difficult. He knows that I struggle with doubt and worry, I don’t want to lay out every detail tho.

@Anonymous_confessions Okay sweetie .. let’s back track for a second. Have you talked about this with him? Because your response was the worrisome that OCD controls over us so that’s why I asked if you began to have this conversation with him first - everything you had posted is he aware of all of this?

@Swift19!89! Sorry let me back track and try that again 😅 I’ve discussed my situation with OCD with him a bit, I don’t go into detail about everything, but I told him that I struggle with what I believe to be OCD, i listen some of my past themes, and I explained that it attacks what I care about most, and that for the past couple months it seems to be affecting my relationship, causing me a lot of doubt and worry. It won’t be a one time conversation tho, and we both understand that. I’ve also told him that he is always welcome to ask me any questions he has so we can both be on the same page. I haven’t gone into full detail about partner focused concerns yet tho, we need to sit down and have some more conversations, so I can explain partner focused obsessions a bit more. But we both try to be very open and honestly about things, and he’s always been my supporter. I just don’t think it best to go into detail concerning every little thing that I feel may or may not be a deal breaker.

@Anonymous_confessions Wow ! First of all - so proud of you. Extremely mature response and I hope you look back at this comment and realize how strong you are ! You are so much stronger than you think and I hope others can read your comment and gain wisdom and encouragement. And I’m so happy that your partner is not only understanding but supportive! I would continue to see how he acts in social gatherings and simply see if it’s a pattern. I’ve learned especially with all my themes of ocd but relationship ocd is that so many people deal with these things who don’t have ocd! This is a common thing that so many of my friends have mentioned. I think that’s a safe bet is to just see if he acts like this consistently and then bring it up and say like hey I just notice how you act alone with me and in groups is a little different. Can we talk about this ? I don’t know if you are in therapy here but if so, the relationship ocd group is tonight ❤️ I just joined it last week! But seriously, so proud of you for acknowledging ocd and how it truly is a bully and attacks us. At the end of the day - your relationship seems rather healthy and that you truly do care about him and ocd can be so stupid in attacking our loved ones.

@Swift19!89! Thank you for the encouragement 🫶 based off of what I’ve seen, there is a pattern, because that’s just his personality when he’s hyper, and I don’t know if that’s a bad thing, because like I said it’s not really something he can change, it’s just who he is, his personality, his quirks, etc. so I worry that it’s bad for me to feel this way, and I worry that thinking and feeling this way about how he acts means I don’t like him, I’m worried that it’s something I’ll always struggle with. I don’t want to feel this way, but I also don’t want to change the person I’m with, and I don’t want to leave the person I’m with either, so I feel like I’ve hit a wall and I don’t know what to do. I’m not currently using NOCD for therapy simply because it’s kinda expensive for me 😅 but I’m glad you found a strong community for support! I also love to see other Christians on here! That’s one thing that has drawn me so close to my bf, his love for God, and he always encourages me to take things to prayer, and we pray together a lot. And I don’t want to give that up just because of a few minor things that shouldn’t affect the strength of a long term relationship

@Anonymous_confessions I love hearing how much you two involve God in your relationship! I think you might just simply not like those things about him and that’s okay. I don’t like everything my husband does and I knew that before getting married but I held onto the bigger things ! He annoys me about everyday but he knows that 😂 I think it sounds like you two have great chemistry and that it truly is just OCD having you fixate on the things that seem like they’re being magnified. I don’t know if this sounds rude but maybe write a pros and cons list. Look at the cons list and see if it’s purely just a pet peeve and something silly or something bigger. Because if he truly is just hyper and I get overwhelmed with people who are very extraverted around people - it exhausts me and I just get really bothered but I just let it go because that’s just how they are. Or look to see if he’s intentionally being an attention seeker or feels the need to put on a show. I think overall you’re on a good path! In our groups - this is a common thing babes. So many people talk about how much they love their partners but think they may need to break up but it’s just OCD really trying to steal our identify and joy! I firmly believe you will be able to identify if it is OCD or something that you may need to consider in this relationship. You’re going to be okay !

@Swift19!89! Thank you so much for that ❤️ it means a lot to have perspective from other people who know the struggles of OCD. I know deep down that this is just silly and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. And I know that if I wrote a pros and cons list, the pros would/should far outweigh the cons. I wrote a list a while back, before I started dating, so that I had a clear perspective for what I felt was important to find in a bf and Lord willing, a husband. And he checks every box. And I also grew up with some not so great friends who made me feel judged and made me think that I had to act cool and not weird in order to be accepted. And I struggle with a bit of social anxiety now, so it could be a mix of those things being projected onto my bf a bit too. So it could be a lot of things at play, but all I know is at the end of the day, I really want it to work out, because no one has encouraged me in my faith as much as he has, and he has been my biggest supporter!

@Anonymous_confessions Then I think you figured out the answer to your post 😂

@Anonymous_confessions Also know that the Lord grants the desires of your heart according to HIS riches and glory but your heart sounds pure and that is rare in believers today. I would continue to remember all that you know and just keep fighting ❤️

@Swift19!89! Absolutely, that’s the one thing I continue to remind myself, God knows the desires of my heart, even more than I do sometimes, and He is our provider, so I trust that He will give me what I need, according to His will, for my good and His glory 😊❤️

@Anonymous_confessions Wanted to share this ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/live/op1XmpPSxns?si=t1pEK8KWzT99ORyj he’s one of my favorites if not my favorite Christian’s who talk about OCD ! He has OCD and he has really helped me with my faith !

@Swift19!89! Thanks! 🫶