Ruminating about rumination

I recently developed a rumination surrounding my own thinking. Its a bit confusing but I was using Dr Greenbergs method on rumination and to not engage in trying to solve something, and this includes not thinking or thinking what be it. Yet, I began to ruminate that if I dont direct my thoughts to the rumination then do I just dont think? And when I think am I engaging in a compulsion to prove that thought wrong? Its been bad these past hours and if anyone knows please let me know. He mentions bad distraction but am I doing bad distraction when I think aloud to try to prove this fear wrong?

Mar0301

Date posted: 1y

This is really relatable and i feel like this is the first time ive seen what ive been feeling put into words

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

It's hard to snap out of it especially when the education isn't there. I'm guessing you don't have much to compare to when all you remember is ruminating right? So bad distractions I believe would be referring to avoidance rather than escapism. One could quite easily be the other. The intention of what you're doing is the key to it. If all you think is, "I won't engage, I won't engage", ironically you're engaging with it. If you do something out of spite of something, you're doing it because of it and therefore feeding it. It was a complete mind f*ck for me to get around when I was recovering. What helped me was: Acknowledge it for what it is. Allow it to be present. ( welcome it or even thank your brain etc) Focus on what you want regardless of it, not because you don't want to focus on the compulsion or thought. Also remember, any stress you get will reach a boiling point then taper off. It's just a false alarm, push through until it tapers then sit in the moment that follows for a bit. Hooe this helps

Vilatic

Date posted: 1y

@Wolfram Thank you so much for the lengthy reply. Ive been trying to avoid solving or even doing something related to rumination but my ocd has manifested itself in a way where if I think or I dont think I believe im engaging in some compulsion. I developed an obsession around thinking aloud. I tried to dissengage and not think about it, but I developed the fear that I wouldnt be able to think aloud if I dissengaged and didnt listen to the thoughts. So, I began to think aloud in my head but now I worry its a compulsion to disapprove my fears. The rumination centers itself around the idea that im trying to do avoidance. This actually probably turned into a compulsion, so I stopped thinking aloud in my head and disengaged. Then, I wondered if that was a compulsion. If thinking in any manner or orientation is a compulsion, including thinking aloud my thoughts to try to prove it wrong or not thinking at all, then im stuck. I know this is so crazy to say lol. When I do attempt to just let the thought be I start wondering when is it natural to think aloud in my head, and so I sometimes think aloud when im doing something or I mentally check for it. It seems you dealt with this mental loop and have surpassed it, so thats great to hear.

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

@Vilatic I had to go through that phase too on my recovery journey. I didn't really have many memories of a life before ocd so I didn't have a clear recovery goal at first. When my mind started to quieten, it felt off or not right. After a while I realised that was my goal and took some adjusting to get used to. Look up all the different types of ruminating to familiarise yourself with that info. Also, doing anything out of spite of something is doing it because of it and feeds it. So when you say you try to stop ruminating, that's actively doing it out of spite, which leads to more ruminating. You allow it to be present when you acknowledge and then focus on whatever you'd normally be doing. Having a to do list is good for this. That gives you something to refer to and go off regardless of the compulsion because you need to do it anyway. You can do this but it's a headf*ck of a perception change. It's how you redirect your attention not your thoughts. You're not running away from something or to something for safety, you're doing what you want regardless of anything else. It was probably one of the biggest 🤯 moments when I was getting better.

ocdonedidily1

Date posted: 17w

Perfectionism OCD and rumination

There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.

kitchensink234

Date posted: 13w

Advice please!

I have really started to take control of my compulsions and im starting to string together better days! Still not great days or even good, but they are better!!! I have controlled my outward compulsions (googling, research, reassurance, checking) the past couple of days and felt the positive impact of that. But unfortunately, I am realizing that the rumination is still constant. My sexuality and relationship are the only two things constantly on my brain, and if they aren’t I freak out and wonder why im not thinking about them! Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the rumination. Sometimes I don’t even notice im doing it, but it’s taking up 90% of my day. Once I start to tackle this I think I may make some real big progress! Hope everyone is fighting today! ❤️

lf5

Date posted: 7w

Tips for rumination with real event?

I've been doing well the past month in cutting down on compulsions and have been feeling better however, last night I had a set back that carried on into today. I had gotten very poor sleep (4ish hours) and then something triggered my memory. I think with the sudden anxiety spike and lack of sleep I didn't have the strength to ignore my compulsions. Last night and today I've realised I've gone back into rumination and mentally reviewing the event excessively again and comparing my situation to other people's, but most of the times that I start going down these rabbit holes I don't even realise I'm doing it? Also been fixating a bit on the fear that I've ruined my progress and that I will fall back into the deep end of it all again, that I have done so much work getting myself out of, although trying my best to not be too discouraged. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with rumination more specifically?

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Ruminating about rumination

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