This morning i had a panic attack

I went to a church and i started to have panic attacks and since than i cant just move away from this depressive feeling, i just feel down, my mind is really negative and i try to use the tools what i learned but it doesnt works, i feel like im just using them to avoid how i feel, and feeling this doesnt help but it gives me more stress and i feel more hopeless and poweless about recovery. Everything i do feels wrong and im tired of it. Im juat tired of accepting it, accept everything and i still feel worse and worse, it doesnt want to ease, im stressing out more. Idk since ive been told that im just avoiding feeling bad and everything i do is a compulsion or avoidance i just cant do anything when i feel a certain way cause i spin about me doing anything is a compulsion and its tiring. And the panic attacks were just a sign that my body had enough of this stress, but a really negative discomfort or malaise is came after it and i cant just move away from it. Now every emotion is so strong, its stressing me out. And again i cant do anything cause i feel like im just doing a compulsion

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

my final advice is this. Whatever your ocd is afraid of, whatever your ocd tells you is dumb or stupid or not right. whatever your ocd tells you you shouldn’t or or can’t do. Do all of them, expose yourself to the idea of all of them. And bring your OCD with you like your it’s parent and it’s throwing a temper tantrum in your back seat. OCD is gonna do what OCD does, and I know this might not make you feel better because when i was told this, I didn’t like it either. But look, OCD cannot control you, you just don’t see how much freedom from your thoughts you actually have. My ocd still knocks, it’s still gives me thoughts and makes me feel certain things. But i don’t judge them, I let them be there because I know that OCD will let me do the things that scares it the most. OCD cannot physically restrain you from doing anything, any action you’ve done that listens to your OCD has been your own doing. OCD cannot make you do anything so why would you make it do anything? Let it scream let it get scared, but you don’t ever have to obey it. You can listen to it, you can acknowledge it. But if you start behaving by it you enter it’s playground, where it can distort any and everything for you. OCDs main point is to scare you so bad that it convinces you not to do something, or try to get you to not feel certain ways, or to questions certain things, but it cannot make you do those things. There were tolerance becomes a topic. You are in dire need of ERP and mindfulness. Those two hand and hand will give you the freedom you’re looking for. I wish you luck please feel free to ask any questions

Lean.Into.it

Date posted: 1y

I feel you

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I can see you’ve spent a lot of time not liking how you feel. How about you get up for a walk and take your OCD with you. Don’t try to change your thoughts and feeling. I challenge you to go out in nature for 15 minutes MINIMUM. take ocd with you. But just walk, nothing you can feel or think on this walk is incorrect. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a compulsion. Don’t stop walking. You will train yourself that your mind doesn’t control your body. Your thoughts lose power this way

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 1y

What tools have you tried using?

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Accepting, trying to focus on the present, talking positively to myself to not get lost in the negative talk, and to see it that those are just thoughts and doesnt mean anything.

elliss2

Date posted: 1y

That sounds horrible. Really sorry your feeling this way. Of course everything you do is a compulsion👍 at least that is what your brain will convince you of. Good job, brain 🧠. How did you get that one, lol😂 Using humor here.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Idk i heard others say its a good think if i realize that everything is a compulsion. And alot of times i see that the tools i learned i use them to make the feelings go away.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@PRIV8 if your objective is to make the feelings go away then you have already set yourself up for a bumpy ride. Your objective to so straight up not care if the feelings are there or not. Your objective is to gain the ability to live life regardless of what you’re feeling. The feelings only feel so scary because OCD has convinced you that you cannot live or even enjoy life with those feelings present. But OCD is dead wrong there. Take if from someone who’s been where you are and who can now see and is starting to live in the other side. OCD doesnt scare me anything, my thoughts do, and that’s okay. My thoughts are temporary and don’t control me. Even the most morbid and scary thoughts can one day feel not so scary. Similar to how we used to be scared of certain things when we were children but through enough time and (exposure) we are no longer as afraid or even afraid at all. How you feel about something one day is destined to change with time, so if you don’t like how you feel about something, you don’t have to freak out and overrreact. Accept you don’t like it, accept it scares you, accept that you feel you wont be able to live life normally. But under no circumstance should you believe these things to the point of it keeping you from doing anything in your life. Take OCD with you. Because with time, TRUST ME. it will calm down, the thoughts wont be scary, the feelings wont be strong. And you will have so much strength and stability

Anonymous_anon

Date posted: 23w

Tired

At this point I think I’m just tired. Took me a massive amount of strength to even type this. I’ve never had it this bad with anxiety depression and OCD. Firstly, how do you guys handle the trauma that comes with OCD. I recently realized Ive traumatized by own mind. I think this contributes to depression. Also, the thoughts frequency have gotten so high. It just literally jams its self in my brain. Before, I had some sort of control (at least a grip) but this days it’s so hard to try to get a grip. The unwanted feelings too? Omg, reactions that I literally can’t stand plagues me. My mind turns almost everything sexual. It’s crazy 🙃 Then the anxietyyyyyy! Wheew. I’m like a walking anxiety attack, my heart is always beating fast and it’s so painful. Working is so hard because I can’t get a grip, I feel so broken and I don’t think anyone can relate to this. I don’t know what I can do to help. Then the pressure in my head (that causes headache sometimes), sometimes I genuinely think I have a tumor! I’m pregnant so that makes it sadder, makes me wonder what kind of mother this beautiful soul is coming out here to meet. I don’t want to be a sad mother, and I cry more when I realize my child can feel what I feel rn in my belly😔. Another thing, the moment I don’t wanna do something, doesn’t even have to be anything bad. That’s when it feels my mind wants to force me to do it. It’s a whole lot and I’m just holding on to Jesus to help me out. At least he’s here so that’s comforting.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 22w

I don’t want to keep doing this

some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame

Luke_McElwee

Date posted: 22w

Losing my shit, freaking out

Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.

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This morning i had a panic attack

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