This morning i had a panic attack

I went to a church and i started to have panic attacks and since than i cant just move away from this depressive feeling, i just feel down, my mind is really negative and i try to use the tools what i learned but it doesnt works, i feel like im just using them to avoid how i feel, and feeling this doesnt help but it gives me more stress and i feel more hopeless and poweless about recovery. Everything i do feels wrong and im tired of it. Im juat tired of accepting it, accept everything and i still feel worse and worse, it doesnt want to ease, im stressing out more. Idk since ive been told that im just avoiding feeling bad and everything i do is a compulsion or avoidance i just cant do anything when i feel a certain way cause i spin about me doing anything is a compulsion and its tiring. And the panic attacks were just a sign that my body had enough of this stress, but a really negative discomfort or malaise is came after it and i cant just move away from it. Now every emotion is so strong, its stressing me out. And again i cant do anything cause i feel like im just doing a compulsion

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

my final advice is this. Whatever your ocd is afraid of, whatever your ocd tells you is dumb or stupid or not right. whatever your ocd tells you you shouldn’t or or can’t do. Do all of them, expose yourself to the idea of all of them. And bring your OCD with you like your it’s parent and it’s throwing a temper tantrum in your back seat. OCD is gonna do what OCD does, and I know this might not make you feel better because when i was told this, I didn’t like it either. But look, OCD cannot control you, you just don’t see how much freedom from your thoughts you actually have. My ocd still knocks, it’s still gives me thoughts and makes me feel certain things. But i don’t judge them, I let them be there because I know that OCD will let me do the things that scares it the most. OCD cannot physically restrain you from doing anything, any action you’ve done that listens to your OCD has been your own doing. OCD cannot make you do anything so why would you make it do anything? Let it scream let it get scared, but you don’t ever have to obey it. You can listen to it, you can acknowledge it. But if you start behaving by it you enter it’s playground, where it can distort any and everything for you. OCDs main point is to scare you so bad that it convinces you not to do something, or try to get you to not feel certain ways, or to questions certain things, but it cannot make you do those things. There were tolerance becomes a topic. You are in dire need of ERP and mindfulness. Those two hand and hand will give you the freedom you’re looking for. I wish you luck please feel free to ask any questions

Lean.Into.it

Date posted: 1y

I feel you

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I can see you’ve spent a lot of time not liking how you feel. How about you get up for a walk and take your OCD with you. Don’t try to change your thoughts and feeling. I challenge you to go out in nature for 15 minutes MINIMUM. take ocd with you. But just walk, nothing you can feel or think on this walk is incorrect. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a compulsion. Don’t stop walking. You will train yourself that your mind doesn’t control your body. Your thoughts lose power this way

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 1y

What tools have you tried using?

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Accepting, trying to focus on the present, talking positively to myself to not get lost in the negative talk, and to see it that those are just thoughts and doesnt mean anything.

elliss2

Date posted: 1y

That sounds horrible. Really sorry your feeling this way. Of course everything you do is a compulsion👍 at least that is what your brain will convince you of. Good job, brain 🧠. How did you get that one, lol😂 Using humor here.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Idk i heard others say its a good think if i realize that everything is a compulsion. And alot of times i see that the tools i learned i use them to make the feelings go away.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@PRIV8 if your objective is to make the feelings go away then you have already set yourself up for a bumpy ride. Your objective to so straight up not care if the feelings are there or not. Your objective is to gain the ability to live life regardless of what you’re feeling. The feelings only feel so scary because OCD has convinced you that you cannot live or even enjoy life with those feelings present. But OCD is dead wrong there. Take if from someone who’s been where you are and who can now see and is starting to live in the other side. OCD doesnt scare me anything, my thoughts do, and that’s okay. My thoughts are temporary and don’t control me. Even the most morbid and scary thoughts can one day feel not so scary. Similar to how we used to be scared of certain things when we were children but through enough time and (exposure) we are no longer as afraid or even afraid at all. How you feel about something one day is destined to change with time, so if you don’t like how you feel about something, you don’t have to freak out and overrreact. Accept you don’t like it, accept it scares you, accept that you feel you wont be able to live life normally. But under no circumstance should you believe these things to the point of it keeping you from doing anything in your life. Take OCD with you. Because with time, TRUST ME. it will calm down, the thoughts wont be scary, the feelings wont be strong. And you will have so much strength and stability

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 19w

OMG how you control your mental compulsions?!?!?!

I cannot for the life of me stop ruminating or checking how I feel about thoughts or focusing on thoughts or creating more thoughts. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I want to scream. I try not to ruminate about the thoughts, but trying not to just makes me think about them more. I try not to check, but somehow, I still check. I want to let a thought sit in the background, but the more I try not to focus on it, the more I end up focusing on it. I don’t want the thought to expand because that feels like engaging with it, but I can’t just stop it from expanding. It feels impossible. People keep saying I’m in control of my compulsions, and maybe that’s true for the physical ones. But when it comes to the mental compulsions, I swear I have no control. It feels like I’m missing something that everyone else seems to have, like there’s some tool they’re using that I don’t have. Controlling mental compulsions has never felt possible for me. I’m starting to fear them. And every time someone says I’m in control and can just choose not to do them, I end up beating myself up even more when they happen. Or when I *choose* I guess. I don’t know anymore. If this is my fault, if I’m responsible for this, then what does that make me? I feel like a monster. I am at my wits’ end. How am I supposed to control mental compulsions when it feels like they control me? I freak out when they happen. They don’t bring me relief, they just make me panic. I want it to stop so bad.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 12w

It feels more real than ever right now :(

I know I am going a bit cuckoo because my period is coming up, but lately it feels like every intrusive thought I have, I *like* it. Like I genuinely feel like I like it, and then I immediately panic because I start checking. Mentally, emotionally, whatever it is. And I know that is a compulsion. I *know* that. But it feels so real that I cannot stop myself. Every single time I check, it still feels like I like the thought, and it is driving me absolutely insane. It is especially the POCD thoughts. They feel so real. I feel like something is going on mentally, like some kind of confusion or glitch, because I swear I was not like this before. I would have intrusive thoughts, and they would feel real, but not *this* real. And I do not even know if this is normal. I know OCD is **supposed** to feel convincing. That is the whole thing. But I have never experienced it to this extreme. I have never gotten the same thought so many times and still felt like, “Oh my God, I did enjoy it,” even after checking a million times. It is like no matter how many times I check, it feels like I liked it. Especially during intimacy :( and it is making me lose it. Then I start thinking, “Well, I am in distress, so maybe that is proof it is not actually me.” But right after, I am like, “What if I am only panicking because I care about what society thinks and not because I actually have morals?” And then I spiral again, wondering if maybe I just care about how I am seen rather than who I am. I am panicking so much no today. I had to take my Xanax today for the first time in two months, and I needed three separate doses. I really need some support right now.

PRIV8

Date posted: 9w

Questioning my faith or ocd

Since I started to accept that maybe some of the problems i deal with might be things that i should accept cause either way I feel shame if i have these thoughts, and i think that being that person is shameful. I'm struggling these days and I noticed I have thoughts about God not being real, not helping me, questioning if its real and these thoughts makes me feel shame. But i keep accepting it cause Im tired that i feel like im lying to myself and everytime i feel like im avoiding the truth, so I try to accept it that its okay that im having these problems(I do the same with suicidal ocd,I start to accept maybe its real) but since im doing this I noticed it makes me depreassed cause of shame. Made things worse, I always spin about shame that it might be true, i try tk accept it but it doesnt work, I feel like maybe i should go back and label every feeling and thought as ocd but i know i wouldnt be free cause i would feel like im trying to make myself feel better... But if its ocd, how can I decide its that if I have the emotions like im losing my faith, I get angry when i hear about faith, sometimes i feel like i really question it, have thoughts like i dont want to have faith...

Religion & Spirituality OCD

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This morning i had a panic attack

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