This morning i had a panic attack

I went to a church and i started to have panic attacks and since than i cant just move away from this depressive feeling, i just feel down, my mind is really negative and i try to use the tools what i learned but it doesnt works, i feel like im just using them to avoid how i feel, and feeling this doesnt help but it gives me more stress and i feel more hopeless and poweless about recovery. Everything i do feels wrong and im tired of it. Im juat tired of accepting it, accept everything and i still feel worse and worse, it doesnt want to ease, im stressing out more. Idk since ive been told that im just avoiding feeling bad and everything i do is a compulsion or avoidance i just cant do anything when i feel a certain way cause i spin about me doing anything is a compulsion and its tiring. And the panic attacks were just a sign that my body had enough of this stress, but a really negative discomfort or malaise is came after it and i cant just move away from it. Now every emotion is so strong, its stressing me out. And again i cant do anything cause i feel like im just doing a compulsion

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

my final advice is this. Whatever your ocd is afraid of, whatever your ocd tells you is dumb or stupid or not right. whatever your ocd tells you you shouldn’t or or can’t do. Do all of them, expose yourself to the idea of all of them. And bring your OCD with you like your it’s parent and it’s throwing a temper tantrum in your back seat. OCD is gonna do what OCD does, and I know this might not make you feel better because when i was told this, I didn’t like it either. But look, OCD cannot control you, you just don’t see how much freedom from your thoughts you actually have. My ocd still knocks, it’s still gives me thoughts and makes me feel certain things. But i don’t judge them, I let them be there because I know that OCD will let me do the things that scares it the most. OCD cannot physically restrain you from doing anything, any action you’ve done that listens to your OCD has been your own doing. OCD cannot make you do anything so why would you make it do anything? Let it scream let it get scared, but you don’t ever have to obey it. You can listen to it, you can acknowledge it. But if you start behaving by it you enter it’s playground, where it can distort any and everything for you. OCDs main point is to scare you so bad that it convinces you not to do something, or try to get you to not feel certain ways, or to questions certain things, but it cannot make you do those things. There were tolerance becomes a topic. You are in dire need of ERP and mindfulness. Those two hand and hand will give you the freedom you’re looking for. I wish you luck please feel free to ask any questions

Lean.Into.it

Date posted: 1y

I feel you

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I can see you’ve spent a lot of time not liking how you feel. How about you get up for a walk and take your OCD with you. Don’t try to change your thoughts and feeling. I challenge you to go out in nature for 15 minutes MINIMUM. take ocd with you. But just walk, nothing you can feel or think on this walk is incorrect. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a compulsion. Don’t stop walking. You will train yourself that your mind doesn’t control your body. Your thoughts lose power this way

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 1y

What tools have you tried using?

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Accepting, trying to focus on the present, talking positively to myself to not get lost in the negative talk, and to see it that those are just thoughts and doesnt mean anything.

elliss2

Date posted: 1y

That sounds horrible. Really sorry your feeling this way. Of course everything you do is a compulsion👍 at least that is what your brain will convince you of. Good job, brain 🧠. How did you get that one, lol😂 Using humor here.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Idk i heard others say its a good think if i realize that everything is a compulsion. And alot of times i see that the tools i learned i use them to make the feelings go away.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@PRIV8 if your objective is to make the feelings go away then you have already set yourself up for a bumpy ride. Your objective to so straight up not care if the feelings are there or not. Your objective is to gain the ability to live life regardless of what you’re feeling. The feelings only feel so scary because OCD has convinced you that you cannot live or even enjoy life with those feelings present. But OCD is dead wrong there. Take if from someone who’s been where you are and who can now see and is starting to live in the other side. OCD doesnt scare me anything, my thoughts do, and that’s okay. My thoughts are temporary and don’t control me. Even the most morbid and scary thoughts can one day feel not so scary. Similar to how we used to be scared of certain things when we were children but through enough time and (exposure) we are no longer as afraid or even afraid at all. How you feel about something one day is destined to change with time, so if you don’t like how you feel about something, you don’t have to freak out and overrreact. Accept you don’t like it, accept it scares you, accept that you feel you wont be able to live life normally. But under no circumstance should you believe these things to the point of it keeping you from doing anything in your life. Take OCD with you. Because with time, TRUST ME. it will calm down, the thoughts wont be scary, the feelings wont be strong. And you will have so much strength and stability

violettag6

Date posted: 21w

Not doing great

TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me

PRIV8

Date posted: 10w

Questioning my faith or ocd

Since I started to accept that maybe some of the problems i deal with might be things that i should accept cause either way I feel shame if i have these thoughts, and i think that being that person is shameful. I'm struggling these days and I noticed I have thoughts about God not being real, not helping me, questioning if its real and these thoughts makes me feel shame. But i keep accepting it cause Im tired that i feel like im lying to myself and everytime i feel like im avoiding the truth, so I try to accept it that its okay that im having these problems(I do the same with suicidal ocd,I start to accept maybe its real) but since im doing this I noticed it makes me depreassed cause of shame. Made things worse, I always spin about shame that it might be true, i try tk accept it but it doesnt work, I feel like maybe i should go back and label every feeling and thought as ocd but i know i wouldnt be free cause i would feel like im trying to make myself feel better... But if its ocd, how can I decide its that if I have the emotions like im losing my faith, I get angry when i hear about faith, sometimes i feel like i really question it, have thoughts like i dont want to have faith...

Religion & Spirituality OCD

ifeelstuck

Date posted: 8w

Heavy Feelings

I am having horrible regression in my recovery. Tonight i'm feeling really alone and sick from anxiety, i'm feeling scared to be alone with my thoughts. I had a family dinner with my sister, brother and mom today and I couldn't help but feel super dissociated. They are all laughing and talking while i'm just existing. I have a loud voice telling me I messed up, i'm dirty, i'm causing them harm. Being around people brings out the worst in my mind because i really want to be normal. My sister and brother did karaoke and sang Disney songs together and they sounded so beautiful and it made me sad because i truly don't feel like i will be able to ever live up to them. They are truly so smart and have their lives laid out for them. My mom takes my disorder personally and often says things like "you're disgusted of me" "you can't even touch me". I know she views me as the weakest one out of us 3, she favors them it's so apparent. My mom has bpd and being around her sinks me so deep. I feel so freaking alone guys and my ocd is actually spiraling me into a bad depression and my thoughts are becoming more serious. I do not feel comfortable in my mind or my body, i rely on distraction constantly running from myself.

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This morning i had a panic attack

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