If life couldn't help giving me ocd at birth, I wish that it didn't give me pocd out of all the other themes. I know it's not fair to say this, but I wasn't this much depressed when I had contamination ocd and pure ocd.
I said the same thing about my Harm OCD and then my own POCD and then my Health OCD , but I Came to the conclusion that all OCD is draining and sucks, no matter if it's Harm OCD or POCD or HOCD, they all effect you equaly and when you look back at old times you think UGH WISH I COULD GO BACK I COULD DEAL WITH IT MORE. But when you think about back then you couldn't deal with it as well as now because the you of now learned and gained experience. So in a couple years you'll say the same thing about your POCD, so just give it time and know you can do it.
you think pocd can become a theme of the past? how did you get over pocd? was it because a new different theme came in randomly and replaced pocd or did you do some therapy?
@Nameless000 I've had many experiences with ocd from different "themes" and frankly its all the same at it's core, I get a new thought in my head, It's fucked up, I get anxious, I start trying to delete it from my mind but it just gets worse, I start trying to prove to my self that that idea was by mistake... I didn't mean to... Then I think I did it on purpose and that I am actully attarcted to kids and I am just a pedophile, and then when Ever I look at kids I wonder If I am attracted to them and then I get intrusive thoughts and then I obbsesivly think about it frok dusk till dawn. So POCD can be a thing of the best but that doesn't mean you can fully get rid of it, OCD is stuck with you forever, so instead you have to learn how to propurly deal with it, with therapy, trial and error and not obbsessing over the reasurance, and no it wasn't because a new theme accured, it was because I faced my fear and got out of my comfort zone and I do get new themes everyonce in a while but I deal with them because from experience I know when it's my ocd playing tricks on me and YES therapy does help and if you can't afford it, talk here and try to learn about OCD because I realized when Ever I read about the articals tend to pin point EXACTLY what I am going through, just make sure it's a relable source and not a 12 year old girl on tiktok. And there are 2 sayings that I think my help which have helped me, first " I have ocd but ocd doesn't have me" and the second "Just because I am anxious doesn't mean I am in dangour or is a dangour to others". I know I wrote a lot but hope I gave you a bit more clarity š¾ and goodluck many people on here have learned how to deal with ocd and so can you! ( sorry for the grammer mistakes )
@Anonymous Thing of the *PAST* not best, appologies.
@Anonymous Thank you a lot for opening up, I really appreciate it. I'll try to do the same as you did
Yes...I have it and it has to be the worst theme. I agree. I'm so sick of it... mentally and physically. I just can't believe I have this horrible theme. Just know you aren't alone
Yes I agree with anonymous, I suffer from Relationship OCD AND POCD and when my head is stuck on one the Iām wishing I had the other one and then when my head goes back to the other one Iām wishing I was back to the last one, itās a nasty cycle, all the same at the end of the day, but I do get what youāre saying! POCD is not fun!
POCD has been the worst thing I've ever been through. I feel like I have always sort of experienced it but not to the degree I do now. I used to plan being a mother to a beautiful family. Now I don't know if I'll ever have children at the risk of having a girl. I used to have intrusive thoughts that would make me feel weird but I could just move on from them. That was until I had to babysit my niece and change her diaper. I want to throw up thinking about it. I got a horribly strong groinal response and I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand why it was happening. It bothered me all day that day and later on I did the disgusting deed of testing myself. I regret it everyday. It's a horrible compulsion and it haunts me. I tested if I was getting off to the thought of her. And of course there was stimulation because of the groinal response. But I hated doing it. I just felt like I had to be sure. After that and since then I haven't wanted to be around her. I stopped planning being a mother, I stopped watching cute baby videos like I used to enjoy because they trigger disgusting intrusive thoughts. After a while I stopped being intimate with my boyfriend and haven't done anything with for months because the thoughts take over and make me feel like I may enjoy the deed more if I was thinking of children. I worry that maybe I do enjoy these thoughts and I'm just denying it. I wish I could be sure. I feel so disgusting and ugly, I've never hated myself this much. It takes over most of my days. I wish I had never changed her diaper. Some times in moments of clarity I am so sure that I'm not a predator, but when I am vulnerable OCD sneaks back in and tells me I enjoy my thoughts and that I should think them. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I have to test. I wish I could stop. It ruins my entire week. I feel like a monster. I want to love my life again. I miss life before this. I feel so hopeless most of the time and I can't imagine a way out. I'm scared to start therapy because what if I found out I am a monster? I can't live like that. I won't. I want to cry and scream. Am I alone in this?
I, like so many others, have had ocd for most of my life. I have had many themes throughout my life. I am a mom and have had harm and pocd as well. For me those have been the most difficult and most painful themes. I have seen many people post on this app and they have had some pretty horrible and disturbing intrusive thoughts or false memories and real events ect. much worse than mine and I have never judged anyone because I know how bad ocd and intrusive thoughts can get. I had someone comment on a post I made recently asking me if I even have ocd insinuating itās not ocd and iām a actually just a pedo. That upset me so much because anyone who has experienced pocd knows how horrific and disturbing the intrusive thoughts can get and how opposite of who we really are ocd is. Our ocd already makes us doubt ourselves so to have a fellow sufferer of ocd say something like that can be so damaging. So many people are afraid to seek help or post on apps like this out of fear of being judged so we have to be mindful of what we comment. This person, after reading their bio has never experienced that theme and so they have no idea what itās like or how bad it can get. I am writing this post because I think we need to be more understanding of those who suffer with themes we havenāt and not be judgmental especially if we donāt know them or their ocd story and what they have been through. I beat my ocd and for years I was ocd free until a recent stressful situation in my life and it came back and has been relentless and worse than ever before. I have had so many kind people give me great support on this app and I give support as much as I can when I see posts of others going through similar things as me. Be kind and think before you comment.
I am so angry with ocd. I hate that ocd even exists. I wouldnāt necessarily say I wanted to be a mom when I was younger. I grew up without my mom around. But now my sisters are both moms and I see them and I feel like Iām missing out. But having pocd and hocd has definitely made me feel like itās completely out of the question. I even made sure my fiancĆ© knew that I didnāt want children/ feel like I canāt have them for fear of hurting them or passing on mental health issues. I was abused growing up and one of my old therapists told me that āpeople who are abused can become abusersā. That is something that I am not willing to risk. And even though I feel set on that choice, my brain still tells me that Iām missing out. So Iām constantly questioning if I truly feel like I donāt want them or if ocd is convincing me I donāt. Ugh. Itās just so frustrating.
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