If life couldn't help giving me ocd at birth, I wish that it didn't give me pocd out of all the other themes. I know it's not fair to say this, but I wasn't this much depressed when I had contamination ocd and pure ocd.
I said the same thing about my Harm OCD and then my own POCD and then my Health OCD , but I Came to the conclusion that all OCD is draining and sucks, no matter if it's Harm OCD or POCD or HOCD, they all effect you equaly and when you look back at old times you think UGH WISH I COULD GO BACK I COULD DEAL WITH IT MORE. But when you think about back then you couldn't deal with it as well as now because the you of now learned and gained experience. So in a couple years you'll say the same thing about your POCD, so just give it time and know you can do it.
you think pocd can become a theme of the past? how did you get over pocd? was it because a new different theme came in randomly and replaced pocd or did you do some therapy?
@Nameless000 I've had many experiences with ocd from different "themes" and frankly its all the same at it's core, I get a new thought in my head, It's fucked up, I get anxious, I start trying to delete it from my mind but it just gets worse, I start trying to prove to my self that that idea was by mistake... I didn't mean to... Then I think I did it on purpose and that I am actully attarcted to kids and I am just a pedophile, and then when Ever I look at kids I wonder If I am attracted to them and then I get intrusive thoughts and then I obbsesivly think about it frok dusk till dawn. So POCD can be a thing of the best but that doesn't mean you can fully get rid of it, OCD is stuck with you forever, so instead you have to learn how to propurly deal with it, with therapy, trial and error and not obbsessing over the reasurance, and no it wasn't because a new theme accured, it was because I faced my fear and got out of my comfort zone and I do get new themes everyonce in a while but I deal with them because from experience I know when it's my ocd playing tricks on me and YES therapy does help and if you can't afford it, talk here and try to learn about OCD because I realized when Ever I read about the articals tend to pin point EXACTLY what I am going through, just make sure it's a relable source and not a 12 year old girl on tiktok. And there are 2 sayings that I think my help which have helped me, first " I have ocd but ocd doesn't have me" and the second "Just because I am anxious doesn't mean I am in dangour or is a dangour to others". I know I wrote a lot but hope I gave you a bit more clarity š¾ and goodluck many people on here have learned how to deal with ocd and so can you! ( sorry for the grammer mistakes )
@Anonymous Thing of the *PAST* not best, appologies.
@Anonymous Thank you a lot for opening up, I really appreciate it. I'll try to do the same as you did
Yes...I have it and it has to be the worst theme. I agree. I'm so sick of it... mentally and physically. I just can't believe I have this horrible theme. Just know you aren't alone
Yes I agree with anonymous, I suffer from Relationship OCD AND POCD and when my head is stuck on one the Iām wishing I had the other one and then when my head goes back to the other one Iām wishing I was back to the last one, itās a nasty cycle, all the same at the end of the day, but I do get what youāre saying! POCD is not fun!
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young š« I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
so I need to get back into ERP, but itās so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mindās like yup make sure itās clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that thatās why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. Itās so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? Itās hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I donāt know many people with this exact theme. Itās such a scary feeling. And Iām constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if itās just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just donāt know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
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