Anyone else struggle specifically with partner focused ROCD? If so, what kinds of things about your partner do you struggle with the most? For me right now is his overall demeanour and characteristics in social situations, specifically with friends, and how it differs from us in private.
My ROCD has almost always been relationship focused but recently it’s been targeting some partner focused things, specifically around his silliness. I’ve been going through some serious family stuff and he was trying to cheer me up and I had the thought “he’s too silly for me” and his goofiness has always been one of my favorite things about him. Now it’s a new obsession and it sucks cause it’s taking the joy I had at laughing with him. So back to ERP and sitting with the discomfort *sigh*
@UncertainOtter104 You can do it! Be consistent with your ERP and keep pushing! I get it, it’s so difficult sometimes, I worry about stuff like that and it’s annoying.
@Anonymous_confessions Thank you, I appreciate the encouragement! 🧡
This is happening with me and my partner now!! My partner would act completely different from when we are in public to when we are in private,I started to dislike how he is when he’s in public and find my self enjoying when it’s just us two,this isn’t a tip or anything I can just relate
@lilyurbaby I really struggle with this, but I don’t want to feel that way about him, I want to feel comfortable with him in public situations, not judging him or thinking he’s being too hyper or weird or cringe. I just want him and I to we able to have fun together. I have a bit of social anxiety so that might be part of it. But I want to be able to accept those things about him because I know in the grand scheme of things it’s really so insignificant and I would be crazy to pass up such a wonderful person over something so small.
@Anonymous_confessions Sometimes I get the ick when he’s out in public he’s more hyper and constantly try’s to grab ppl attention and talks alllll the time, I’m an introvert and he’s more extrovert and there’s nothing wrong with that but it’s starting to bother me that he constantly talks,and over shares idk if it’s my ocd or if we just aren’t a match….
@lilyurbaby Well one thing that I’ve been told will be true in every relationship, is that there will be things about your partner that you won’t necessarily like, and that’s ok. No matter who you end up with, there will always be “flaws” and it’s not about finding the perfect person for you, it’s about learning to love the person you’re with. Love is a choice, and it doesn’t always come so easy, but that’s what makes it so much more meaningful. I have to constantly remind myself of this. Sometimes I also just need to reframe the way I think about things, because my bf is genuinely just having fun and being himself, and I admire the fact that he can feel comfortable enough to do that, because I’m always worried of being judged. OCD is always linked to a sense of perfectionism too so we have to learn to be ok with imperfection.
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
I am in a relationship but I cannot stop getting thoughts about this new coworker I met, my mind convinces me they are so attractive and so great and I hate it so much. My current relationship has its imperfections (as every one does) but I am so happy with her and have always been so loyal. Would OCD target those imperfections and exploit this situation? Additionally I believe I’m feeling ROCD fears of cheating but I know in every opportunity I’ve talked with other women I am loyal to my partner by bringing her up. Does anyone experience the same thing? Is this really OCD or other subconscious intrusive thinking?
Does anyone else get like super irritated with their partner due to fixation? I get irritated that my partner can’t run well… or that he is not socially the same as some other men that I thought I would be with. We connect extremely well we hang out well he’s a wonderful guy he’s funny, but sometimes I just get irritated at mannerisms the way he talks etc. I feel HORRIBLE I’m afraid I don’t like him as much… this is horrendous for me
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
