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I remember reading a comment someone had made to one of my posts on an OCD subreddit and they told me how they believed their OCD symptoms got worse during a time in their life when they were socially isolated. Reading this comment made the brightest lightbulb go off in my head because it basically summarized most of what I’ve been going through. In addition to OCD, I also struggle with depression and social anxiety. I feel like these three things and the profound sense of loneliness I’ve felt throughout my years in college (undergrad) feed off of each other. I know that OCD can manifest in so many different ways regardless of what your social life looks like, but I can’t help but feel like the lack of relationships (specifically friendships)/community in my life has something to do with my mental health and the delay in my recovery. Side note: I’m still relatively new to NOCD, but I’m happy to say that I’ve been making some good progress in my therapy sessions <3

When I smoke weed when I think of non ocd things or themes, my head starts to make sense of things I feel more open and I think clearer. So that’s where my big concern is!!! Because when I’m high and think of ocd things like being a killer, or someone who’s a sociopath or someone that can be a pedo it feels real like my mind is clearer that I am these things Any one who has experienced weed with ocd help me I need insight on this im very confused and it’s causing me to ruminate all day

I’m curious if anyone else has ever had this. This is my specific theme in regards to my OCD that has been prevalent in my life since 2022. Quick back story: went to a party college for 4.5 years and had a blast, got as drunk as I wanted on weekends and never once felt bad about it. Then, hangovers got worse and I started partying too much. After graduation, I told myself that it’d be a really cool goal to get to the point where I could go out and just have 4 beers. Enough to enjoy myself, not enough to make me hungover. Well, this simple healthy goal turned into a massive obsession. Now, if I go over my limit of 4-5 beers/drinks, two things happen: 1. I give up and binge drink bc I might as well if I’m already over my limit. 2. The next day even if I’m super hungover, unless I can’t bc of work scheduling, I will perform a check where I drink 4 beers and see if I can still get drunk off of those. If I can get drunk, then I feel normal. If I am not as drunk, then this cycle continues. I worry about becoming an alcoholic all the time bc at this point in my life I am very active in my social scene, and alcohol is very much present. While I certainly do not have any family history of alcoholism nor the personality or drive to become one, I still fear that I might one day despite knowing I won’t. I also worry about raising my drinking tolerance by continuing to feed this obsession/compulsion loop. It’s slightly affected my personality and confidence. I’m aware it’s irrational and the solution is to simply cut back as anyone would and go out less frequently, or drink less frequently when I’m out. And yet, my other obsession with alcohol is experiencing the painful withdrawals that alcoholics experience when they stop drinking!! Despite never having experienced those withdrawals when I’ve not drank on a given night. So, it’s a weird one. Thinking the ERP is just going to be not performing those checks. If I’ve reached my limit and am not as drunk, okay. Alcohol absorption is affected by a lot. No need to check my tolerance nor go overboard since I’m not as drunk. We’ll see. I’m on Zoloft too which has helped a ton with other symptoms but this theme is making it less effective and I need to get control of it now.