Does OCD target your cherished memories and steal your joy?

Any Christians with ocd? It’s really been attacking my faith

Hi everyone. I’ve been having religious OCD for the past 4 months now. I’ve always been a Christian but it wasn’t until this year I truly gave myself to the Lord. I was so on fire. Getting amazing signs and healing from Him. He really changed my heart and desires! I love them! But the last couple months this OCD hit hard with obsession over scary thoughts & feelings. I started having thoughts about God existence & Jesus. It hurt so much and I’m really trying everyday to move forward but recently I feel like I have a rejection mindset. Like beating myself up over these thoughts and feeling like Gods left me sometimes or I’m not worthy of His love or me having these thoughts of doubts & unbelief was the last straw. I’ve been so attacked lately with this OCD. It’s scaring me. Sometimes it feels like it’s coming from me. I felt like I woke up in total disbelief. I just woke up feeling so numb and questioning life. Doubting everything and I get OCD is a doubting disease but dang. I don’t want to doubt God & Jesus. I look back at my experiences and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t. It makes me feel like God is mad at me or will leave me. I’m constantly checking myself, my feelings, my thoughts and even if I’ll “act on this thought”! Deep down I know it’s not true because God is love but does anyone have any advice on how to move forward with these thoughts of rejection? To have a better mindset of believing & receiving Gods Love, Grace and Promises.

My OCD makes me doubt my faith & God! It also makes me doubt myself, my values and literally everything! Makes me even doubt if this is OCD! I love God & Jesus! I know I gave my life to Him! Being reborn! I’ve seen the changes! It hurts to have these thoughts & feelings of doubt! I know it says OCD attacks what you care about the most! I’ve been having this for 6 months. It started as a thought of “is God real” now it’s like my mind has interrogated me over & over again making me question everything! Yelling accusations at me! Telling me I don’t “believe enough” or “maybe I don’t believe” or “I don’t love Him” and just stuff like that & I hate it! Sometimes whenever I think about it to much it gets so confusing or I need to “fix it”! I want faith & belief and I refuse to give up! I know I’m very hard on myself & I try to remind myself this isn’t a Faith problem but an OCD problem but my OCD tries to make me doubt that! Logic & OCD don’t mix. Has anyone gone through this? Please any advice?