I gave into a major compulsion after a major trigger. I haven’t done that in many months. My anxiety spiked because of a trigger. How do you forgive yourself? I feel like a failure. 😞
I’m sorry that you feel this way. Everyone with OCD gives in from time to time on their compulsions especially if intrusive thoughts are very strong and that’s ok. Sometimes you won’t be perfect and sometimes you’ll mess up and it’s all completely normal and a part of being human. Just move forward with your life as best as you can and try your best and doing your best is all you can do
It happens sometimes
It’s going to happen. What matters is picking yourself back up and moving forward.
I feel the same exact way. I decided to not give in to a compulsion and then did it last minute and felt it made it worse and beat myself up for the rest of the night while I was out and now the thought has given me anxiety. I hate it so much. Don’t feel like failure. We shouldn’t. We thought it was going to soothe us but instead take it as maybe focus on the healing and this is practice too.
Less than a year ago, I had a very big anxiety flare up to the point that I felt as though I needed to report to the police / harm myself. I ended up leaving an anonymous tip at the police hotline about something that I know I didn’t even do but everything told me I had to or else I will go to jail. And similarly after that I called the help line and explained I had unwanted intrusive thoughts and I didn’t think I deserved to live for having those thoughts. After these many months and working with my therapist, I’ve been able to feel a lot less anxious around this topic and now I’m getting lots of anxiety about what I did that time when I was so anxious. I gave in to my compulsions and confessed for stuff that I know sounds bad saying out loud but only certain people will understand I would never do. So now I’m just looking for someone to relate and perhaps let me know that I don’t have anything to worry about? I know it’s bad to seek reassurance but I’m not sure where to go. And I’m worried I’m going to keep incriminating myself.
I want to move on and accept my past mistakes, but I feel like truly forgiving myself isn’t acceptable. My therapist says not to judge my past self but seek to understand. But if what I’ve done has gone against my moral values, how exactly do I do this? I’ve learned my lesson, and I just want to move on. But that feels like letting myself off the hook. Any tips or advice??
My girlfriend, who’s become increasingly controlling, read my therapy notes while I was sleeping (the one thing I told her not to read). She found a note I wrote, forgiving myself about a past guilt that I hadn’t in detail told her about, and she accused me of exactly what I fear about myself. A week later, she left me. I am destroyed. I’ve spent the past week desperately trying to rekindle the relationship, and I had some level of peace. I got heavy reassurance from a friend, but I think this was a trigger. A day later, while still focused on the relationship, my brain shifted to the guilt itself, and it went deeper. I am now back to where I was 2 years ago torturing myself over my real event OCD, and thoughts that I’m afraid to mention. I am losing my mind and can’t talk to the person who always accepted me, who I feel almost cured my OCD for two years. Now, here I am back to this app, I really need help, I feel I’ve lost everything.
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