I'm so frustrated right now.

No, I have had mice in my house in the past and I'm not sure that I still don't. Ocd has left my house in shambles and I've had things stacked on my counters and sink for years, with signs of mice amongst the items. I wasn't able to address it at the time, and there are a host of priorities in front of it now. Currently I really need to decide what to do with the pizza, and what to do for dinner. I haven't left food out in years, and I'm losing confidence this is the right process for me, if I'm making critical mistakes like this.

I feel so stuck

@Steve 🧘‍♂️ I've been there, I say eat the pizza and I bet you'll feeling a step closer to beating ocd. It was hard the first few times I did it, but then I found that on days I'm washing more than I like if I defy the icd, I feel WAYYYY better after and the next time it gets easier. Sometimes, I have ti just put it in my mouth before I can even let my mind think about it and then I go well, what's done is done. Maybe I'll get sick, maybe this is the day, maybe not.

@HeartMama Even if you just take a couple of bites and put the rest in the fridge. Throwing it out says okay ocd, you can walk all over me, putting it in the fridge says maybe I'm going to eat it, take that ocd.

@HeartMama I can't do that. Mouse poop can cause lots of problems. But I don't even set traps anymore because I can't get to the traps if the catch a mouse.

@Steve 🧘‍♂️ Ah, that's a huge trigger for me. Have you called an exterminator?

@Steve 🧘‍♂️ Step number one is to have them trap and stop the problem and seal your house up.

@HeartMama There are other priorities ahead of this, believe it or not.

@HeartMama Right now I need to get unstuck.

@HeartMama I need reassurance. I need to know it's ok to throw the pizza away. I don't even have room in my garbage, but I need to do something.

@HeartMama This feels like the way things were before I reached out for help. Stuck without answers, frustrated, and upset. I don't want to get back to the way things were, but I can't let my guard down and be wasting food and missing meals. I hate feeling frustrated.

@Steve 🧘‍♂️ I would put a trigger warning on this post. I can give you reassurance, and I'm NOT going to tell you what I would do. That's my number one fear. I don't want to make it worse for you, but take care of the problem and then you will be able to move on and start healing. Call the exterminator, best money I ever spent. I can't give you reassurance, nothing anyone can say will give you certainty, seeking reassurance will keep you stuck. You just have to make a decision and move forward

@HeartMama I have a toilet that has been leaking into my basement for about 6 or 7 years. I can't walk through my house, because of contamination concerns from someone walking through my house. I'm 3 months into returning to work because my position was going to be eliminated, and struggling to get 24 hrs in a week. What else can I add? This is just the start. I'm just stuck and there's no good answers. I'm really upset that this all happened.

@Despair Let me give you some perspective. When I had our last "problem", I had just changed jobs, we decided to remodel our kitchen to seal up the problem, expensive but best money I've ever spent, my husband went into heart failure and we thought our son was headed to his second open heart surgery at any time. Fix the problem or walk away from the house and start over. For your own sanity, you have to make a decision one way or the other. what I woukd do is get someone to fix the problems that are too high for you now fix the leak, exterminate, seal stuff, haul off the clutter even if you have to do the work yourself. I've had ocd since I was 17, but I make myself get out of bed, I make myself go to work and I have spent so much time feeling stuck, and feeling like I couldn't breathe. New quote I'm loving... "we get one life, just one. Why are we not running like we are on fire towards our wildest dreams" no matter what we go through, every second of every day is a chance that we have to make a decision. Throw away the pizza and go find your dreams. It's a choice, it's a hard choice but a choice all the same. There are a million ways to start over, lose your job, there will be another opportunity. Lose your house, there will be another one or you'll find a new way to survive. There is always a worst moment, but there is always something that comes after, what do you want from the rest of your life? You have the right to be upset that it has happened, it sucks, but you have to pick what you do next or you will be a slave forever feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. I hope that doesn't sound harsh or mean, but I have literally walked in those shoes, and I refuse to rollover and die and miss out on this precious life. I hope you can find your way and I hope you can latch on to a dream and chase it like your days are numbered.