Just watched a tiktok of someone realising they are gay after 5 years in a straight relationship. Its really triggered me, my ocd is now telling me that’s me. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he is my best friend as well as boyfriend. Saying that tiktok made them realise they were gay and they never knew before. I hate this ocd so much anyone else get severely triggered by this.
Hey! It is triggering indeed! You’re not alone! If you wanna share your story here don’t hesitate!
@Anonymousesti Thank you! It is like constant when I see tiktok’s like that! I fully support people who are gay and come out at whatever age but hearing later in life ‘realisations’ is so triggering for me! I have the BEST boyfriend but my ocd makes me think I’m with him because my family love him or that its easy ans convienent or that I am actually gay and am in denial and Im gonna break his heart. Its horrible and some days its constant. Its tiring. I just wanna be happy with him without the bad days causing these thoughts
@Anonymous - omg!!! I relate to literally everything you said! I really understand how you're feeling, I myself am in realtionship with my bf that is also the best and we've been together for 6 years! and I also am so scared because I feel like im with him because on paper he's perfect and my family loves him and its "safe" and that eventually im gonna be wasting his time and that he deserves someone that truly is in love with him.... How long have you had that and what triggered it? I for example loves spending time with my bf but im a very emotionnal person ( I know that from being with my friends) however I feel like im never "emotionnal" with him and dont have these strong feelings like " I would die and be deppressed for a year if I lose you". And if I imagine that with a girl it does feel very intense which triggers me a lot!ù
@Anonymousesti Yes! I’m not a fully emotional person but i get the same I worry I don’t love him enough. He is amazing and knows me better rhan I know myself and is my best support network. I worry I’m wasting his time and I’m going to hurt him so badly. It’s the whole ‘realising your gay’ is the most triggering for me. However I also get triggered randomly when I think a women looks nice or even when I have an amazing date night with him ans I feel super butterflys still it tells me I dont actually think that I am in denial. Its alot I know but its crazy! I have had it on and off for about 4 years!! I think that helps feed the ocd though and it sometimes says that if I was straight I wouldn’t have had it this long 🙁 Sorry if thats alot but your experience seems so relatable!!
@Anonymous - yes same!! I specifically relate to the last sentence! honesly I have had that for as long as I can remember. I just remember one day sitting and studying and being lile "what if I'm gay", I think I was 14 and I remember getting sooo triggered! and than all the proof I could ever think of throught out my childhood and adolescent years started piling up until I turned 18 and that is when I had my first break down... So yeah I do understand you're fear! I'm 26 today!
@Anonymousesti Literally! The proof thing is so annoying isnt it! Like I was obsessed with some female singers when i was like 13 and it gives me like false memories of thinking I fancied them but I just idolised them like any other teen did! 🫣 It came up seemingly out of nowhere when I was 18 but looking back I had intrusive thoughts since I was about 10 but just less intense you know. I’m 23 soon!! I’m sorry your also going through this but it is comforting hearing someone with such a similar experience 🙈🙃
I can completely relate. Only mine has been with viewing a provocative picture of someone of the same-sex in getting a gronial response. Kills me. Been suffering with SO-OCD for 3 years
@Anonymous It is horrible isn’t it. I can say now after 5 years of having it, I have just had a period of about 3 months with little to no intrusive thoughts! The longest period ever (I have had good months before). So keep hope! I think I would’ve stayed better for longer but has severe work stress lately! Dealing with it better though x <3
@Anonymous It is horrible isn’t it. I can say now after 5 years of having it, I have just had a period of about 3 months with little to no intrusive thoughts! The longest period ever (I have had good months before). So keep hope! I think I would’ve stayed better for longer but has severe work stress lately! Dealing with it better though x <3
@Anonymous Have you ever dealt with any type of gronial responses and has it ever felt super real that you almost thought you were gay?
@Anonymous Oh 100% sometimes I have been panicking about having to come out even though I knew it didn’t ait right with me! But when I calm down and stop ruminating I can start to see more clearly again.
@Anonymous How did you work stopping your rumination? If you don’t mind me asking
@Anonymous No not at all! It’s not easy I won’t lie to you but I just say to myself, this isn’t important right now and try not to ‘figure things out’ - the SOS feauture in the app was brilliant when I really felt like I was spiralling into ruminating! It helps bring you back into the moment now as I got really deep into thought
@Anonymous Thank you so much for you help and insight on this
@Anonymous Do you know where I can find this SOS feature on the app?
@Anonymous It looks like a little purple life ring in the bottom corner of the page
@Anonymous It looks like a little purple life ring in the bottom corner of the page
@Anonymous No worries! I wish you the best in your ocd journey!
So my ocd theme changed to sexual orientation ocd last December after I heard a popular video "hi, I'm Gibby" and I went like the Gibby sounds like "gay", then I started saying the phrase and over days, I started getting intrusive thoughts "I'm gay" .(I have had other ocd themes: (magical thinking ocd, symmetry ocd, health concern ocd, religious and spirituality ocd and harm ocd ever since I was 12, they just come and go)....I struggle with other conditions(ASD and bipolar disorder). I have never struggled with sexuality or questioned it because I have only liked males right from when I was in grade 1🥲...I still like them. SO-OCD is very frustrating because deep down I know I'm straight and there's no evidence I'm not but the intrusive thoughts and compulsions to get relief (the cycle) won't stop. I'm on fluoxetine(Prozac) and it did help my symptoms but lately I realised I'm more consumed with compulsions and idk but I think it's reducing the effects of the drugs?.. I see an attractive female and my mind goes like you found her attractive you must be gay or I want to go out and do sumn"what if you discover you like them or are gay" ...idk it's frustrating, very and I'm tired. I don't even get turned on by same sex or any😭that what even makes it more confusing.+ It's almost like I'm now hypervigilant when Watching videos or Instagram reels...it making me forget that finding someone physically attractive≠sexual attraction...idk if anyone gets me...(Rn my ocd themes are SO-OCD and religious and spirituality ocd) SO-OCD is frustrating, I'm tireddd...how can I never have struggled with sexuality for almost a decade and half but I'm having it now(it's started two months ago)...who has had/have this theme??
I have been doing okay for the past week or so and was really happy i felt that i was getting back on track, but today i went on tiktok and i saw something triggering which was “i thought i was a lesbian for 4 years until i met my now boyfriend” and it triggered me very badly, i have been crying all day and i can’t seem to make myself feel okay. i feel like im lying to myself that im not lesbian and i truly want men, but when i get any thought about men it feels disgusting and wrong and not me, i don’t want men i feel so sick i want to get out of this. i always felt so happy as a lesbian im so stuck i don’t want to be with a man. i have a loving girlfriend i just want to be happy with her.
I keep seeing tiktoks of things that are like ‘things I did as a lesbian in denial’ or ‘things my not so straight straight friend said’ and I feel like I might relate to some!! But idk!! It’s kinda triggering me. I’ve had this 5 years on and off now so when it comes back the whole well you’ve had it so long you must be gay comes up. I have been with my boyfriend almost 6 years and i love him so much I don’t want to be gay (nothing weong with it - I’m just not and don’t want to be!)
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