sexual orientation ocd

i am dealing with SOOCD at the moment im married and have 3 kids this theme has been coming and going for months now and makes me question even more if i am gay ,my thing is when i look at my husband i feel nothing no attraction which makes me so anxious and i am constantly looking at him and checking how i feel and makes me even more anxious because i then think ok then you are gay and are indenial the feelings just seem sooo real though i have even tried accepting that i am gay which gives me panic attacks any help on this theme please?🥲

yessyess

Date posted: 1y

This sounds like relationship ocd as well. So sorry you’re going through this, you’re not alone.

Zoattack32

Date posted: 1y

I do the exact same thing, it scares me and I think that’s how I know that it’s in fact OCD, the anxiety it gives me literally takes over my whole body and mind so I understand.

mons123

Date posted: 1y

@Zoattack32 yes same but then i think about all those people that came out and had anxiety too and thought they were indenial so its so confusing!

hrklauss

Date posted: 1y

@mons123 The OCD is presenting those cases of other people's experiences to scare you and to keep you from thinking it's actually the OCD. It wants you to think all this you're going thru is actually you. It will keep you going around the mulberry bush over and over and over again. The fact that you're looking at your husband to check how you feel is a checking compulsion. The feeling like you're not attracted is the doubt OCD generates. The anxiety you're feeling is messing with your beliefs, your emotions, your understanding of who you know yourself yo be. Try not to engage with it, refuse to do the checking, the compulsions, the ruminating, answering the "what if" questions, reviewing how you feel about your husband, etc. Starve the ocd beast by not giving in and not feeding it the compulsions it requires to stay alive.

mons123

Date posted: 1y

@hrklauss thankyou so much for this have you dealt with this theme before?

hrklauss

Date posted: 1y

@mons123 Just now seeing your comment, sorry! I've not dealt with this particular theme, although I've dealt with various others. The theme of your OCD isn't actually what's ultra important, what's important is that OCD operates the same across all themes. It's basic tactics are all the same and once you get a handle on how it operates, you can spot it no matter what theme or "cloak" or "disguise" it puts on.

Jelica05

Date posted: 1y

I've been dealing with the same thing for awhile now. It's definitely tough ): Just know that your not alone.

probablyanxious

Date posted: 1y

You’re very much not alone. Been dealing with this exact thing. It’s so exhausting to not be able to hear the voice in your head that are your true desires and beliefs of yourself.

mons123

Date posted: 1y

@probablyanxious yes! its like how can i not know what i like!?? it literally blocks your reality and youre true desires! i am married for 10 yrs and suddenly dont know who i am when i never questioned it before! and it gives me more anxiety that people who have come out are afraid pf it too so it becomes even more scary!

geodrimilis

Date posted: 21w

You’re not alone since I started having hocd it felt like my attraction to women went bye bye. But I know that I can’t turn gay suddenly

Neytiri

Date posted: 1y

I am in a similar situation. Could we talk?

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 24w

People with SO-OCD please view🙏🏼

So my ocd theme changed to sexual orientation ocd last December after I heard a popular video "hi, I'm Gibby" and I went like the Gibby sounds like "gay", then I started saying the phrase and over days, I started getting intrusive thoughts "I'm gay" .(I have had other ocd themes: (magical thinking ocd, symmetry ocd, health concern ocd, religious and spirituality ocd and harm ocd ever since I was 12, they just come and go)....I struggle with other conditions(ASD and bipolar disorder). I have never struggled with sexuality or questioned it because I have only liked males right from when I was in grade 1🥲...I still like them. SO-OCD is very frustrating because deep down I know I'm straight and there's no evidence I'm not but the intrusive thoughts and compulsions to get relief (the cycle) won't stop. I'm on fluoxetine(Prozac) and it did help my symptoms but lately I realised I'm more consumed with compulsions and idk but I think it's reducing the effects of the drugs?.. I see an attractive female and my mind goes like you found her attractive you must be gay or I want to go out and do sumn"what if you discover you like them or are gay" ...idk it's frustrating, very and I'm tired. I don't even get turned on by same sex or any😭that what even makes it more confusing.+ It's almost like I'm now hypervigilant when Watching videos or Instagram reels...it making me forget that finding someone physically attractive≠sexual attraction...idk if anyone gets me...(Rn my ocd themes are SO-OCD and religious and spirituality ocd) SO-OCD is frustrating, I'm tireddd...how can I never have struggled with sexuality for almost a decade and half but I'm having it now(it's started two months ago)...who has had/have this theme??

What is happ...

Date posted: 20w

Does anyone relate? I feel exhausted

I think I may have SO-OCD and OCD in general. At a young age fear of death. I use to tap my heart 8 times (lucky number) for each person I loved. Then I think I suffered with ROCD and HOCD when I was 18 after 2 bad relationships who they ran off with a ‘close’ friend at the time. I’ve struggled with OCD and these HOCD/ SO-OCD about 12 years ago but the HOCD went and the ROCD came back and forth. I did previously last year have a Fear of death of my children with alligators going on holiday after reading a bad article in Florida which lasted few months. Briefly Started with ‘R-OCD’ again but went pretty quickly. Am I good enough for my partner? Is she going to leave me? What if she finds someone else? Though I saw a picture of a good looking male on a social media which my Brian instantly questioned if I was gay, panic and anxiety which lead to which I think is SO-OCD and HOCD. An obsession is an unwanted and unpleasant thought, image or urge that repeatedly enters my mind, causing feelings of anxiety, disgust or unease. A compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that you feel you need to do to temporarily relieve the unpleasant feelings brought on by the obsessive thought. I’m stuck in obsessive doubt around my sexual identity, even though I say that deep down i know what my sexual identity is but even this is being questioned at the minute and I want to cry. I have always, always been interested in women. That much I would say I had a sex addiction. My attraction to the opposite sex has pretty much disappeared. I have a fleeting thought of attraction which will set off a cascade of doubt and terror which some thoughts/ feelings make me physically sick. I’m scared of going out in public or even looking at people especially men for the fear of false attraction. I try to do ERP when I do have moments but it makes me want to be sick. My brain feels like it’s in a clamp and I can’t stop the constant thoughts. It feels like something is my head has stopped or not working correctly. Even at night. Every time I wake my chest seems to feel strange and the thoughts are suddenly there. I’ve tried ERP but it makes me want to be sick even when it subsides. I am still continuing this but I feel so drained. I just want to be myself again who I was 3 months ago. I hate that this has happened and I feel that I can’t cope, can’t be the husband I want to be, can’t be the father I want and was. These are my main issues at the moment; false attraction to pretty much any male even voices, decrease attraction in opposite gender, severe anxiety, I can’t sleep or eat, constant thoughts 24/7 and scenarios, groinal responses, seavere recriminatory thinking, I hate myself, I even have false attraction to myself in the mirror. What is wrong with me? I just want to be the husband and father I was a few months ago!

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 19w

feeling helpless

As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

sexual orientation ocd

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community