Hope

Looking for some stories of hope here. I have to be honest, I’ve been on this journey for a year and a half now. I started ERP about 6 months ago and I’m constantly getting slammed with thought after thought, theme after theme, feeling after feeling. Every time I get better at one thing, I experience something else and it feels worse than the time before EVERY SINGLE TIME. I feel like I’m trying everything here. I’m in therapy, I do exposures, I got myself educated on OCD/anxiety through multiple books and podcasts/youtube videos, I made a worry journal for myself to track my thoughts as they come, I’ve done meditations, breath work, you name it I’ve done it or tried it. My brain doesn’t stop. It literally just doesn’t stop and it’s destroying me. I’m a mom of young kids, they’ve probably seen me cry more times than I’d ever want. I was just experiencing health anxiety (fear of cancer) made myself go get blood work and a scan done today (it all came back good) ONLY to now have one of my old themes pop up again haunting me. I’m starting to feel hopeless. Please someone ANYONE tell me this isn’t how it’s going to be forever. It’s been soooo long ! When does it get better? When did you experience your freedom again? Thank you in advance.

Mreow

Date posted: 1y

First accepting that ocd won’t entirely disappear but knowing with time the symptoms will be much more Manageable just like background noise and sure there may be flare ups sometimes but through our struggles, and “failures” and “setbacks” we will gain knowledge and insight on how to navigate them much better. I once heard an advocate say it took them almost a decade to get to where they are where they’re living a life more aligned by their values and the reason why that is helpful to me is to have some more Grace towards myself if I don’t feel like I’m getting better “quickly enough”. Also trying to keep a log of wins I have had, or even just trying to be more intentional about pausing and telling my inner kid “wow, great job, you just did such and such thing you didn’t think you could do”. When your ocd brain likes to remind u that well u got other new worries to be afraid of that’s just ocd always wanting to keep u in a place of doubt. U can be like “I’m celebrating a win right now, so OF COURSE you wanted to come crash my party.. you’re so silly and predictable OCD. If you wanna stay at the party that’s fine but I’ll be pretty busy doing my thing here”

Anonymous 25#

Date posted: 1y

@FJustRightOCD Thank you so much for this! My ocd has a way of popping in whenever it wants with whatever it wants, and making my themes always seem the worst. I appreciate these words of encouragement

Mreow

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous 25# Of course :) also mine does the same thing, constantly. Whenever I feel happy about one thing my OCD feels a need to instantly insert itself back into my brain. So i just try to humor it bc it kind of belittles it’s disgruntled hyper-perfectionism instead of trying to resist it or letting it take me down the meta ocd train. Our brains are complex and for some of us working through ocd will take more or less time, everyone’s journey is different, and in our shared experience of this we are not alone.

Anonymous 25#

Date posted: 1y

@FJustRightOCD What themes do you experience ? If you don’t mind sharing

Mreow

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous 25# Health, contamination, just right, magical thinking, scrupulosity, harm, somatic, pure o .. so many :( I always worry about cancer and stuff but I’m scared to go to the doctor and do tests I’m so jealous u got it done

Anonymous 25#

Date posted: 1y

@FJustRightOCD I did and now I’m back to my other theme of harm/suicidal ocd it’s been consuming me all day. I’m exhausted

Mreow

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous 25# I understand, OCD is so relentless.

mari.201

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

Just want to sprinkle some hope here

I just completed a check in with my therapist today so naturally I reflected on my journey with OCD. Summer/Fall of 2023 feels like a swath of darkness. Bombarded with horrible intrusive thoughts, I thought my life was over. I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hated myself. Life lost meaning for me and it felt as if every hope and dream was shattered. Needless to say my life was lost to me during a time when I should have been enjoying it the most. I was post grad with a good job lined up. But none of it mattered- my mind was as broken. Thank God, I had some small voice in me that urged me forward and to get help. So I did. I felt so scared and unsure. Was I doing the wrong thing going to therapy? I was not. It was the best decision I made for myself. Fast forward to nearly two years later, my life couldn’t be more different. I see and feel the light. I have so much love and gratitude for myself and for everyone who helped me along the journey. My therapist, my family, all the brave content creators who openly speak about their experiences, no matter how taboo. I won’t lie, it was a lot of work. And I had to learn to be uncomfortable and deal with frustrations. I had to learn to trust myself. I still deal with sticky and intrusive thoughts but my response and my daily life despite them can not be more different. So I am here to be proof to you that there is so much hope. If you don’t have the little voice in you urging you forward, than I will be just that. Go to therapy, get help, put in the work. It is so worth it. Every time there is a setback, and there will be many, push through. Feel free to ask questions! But no reassurance will be given.

anonymous2580

Date posted: 22w

Does it really get better?

I’ve been dealing with ocd my whole life, and just got diagnosed about a year ago. I feel my days becoming occupied with thoughts, urges, fears and worry that completely debilitate me. It’s getting to the point where i feel like it’s taking over my life. I don’t see this getting any better, even with the therapy and medication I’m on. I’m scared my life will be like this forever, I’m tired. My brain is tired of ruminating every second of every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I’m not sure how much longer I can go on like this.

kitchensink234

Date posted: 14w

Hopeless

I know everything im dealing with is OCD. I have accepted that, but I just feel down. I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this. I just want to be free from this horrible illness. Any positive stories and recovery journeys will help. What did recovery look like for you? I used to be so happy, I miss it so much. This feels like it’s taken everything from me. How do you just live your life despite how you feel? Any hope will help!

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