Fiadh2024*
- Date posted
- 1y
HOCD
HOCD is making me feel like I am in denial of my sexuality..I feel like giving up and coming out but I dont want to.
Ari925Ari925
- Date posted
- 1y
It’s making me feel that it’s the real truth ( I’ve been doing my exposures) and now the anxiety is gone and letting the thought be there is so surreal and I don’t want to care anymore I know there is nothing wrong with how you identify I’ve just never seen myself that way but I have such trouble dating so it feels like it might be true and I don’t want it to be sigh. We just have to accept anything is possible and live according to our values.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ari925 What exposures do you do, because I also need help with this subtype of OCD..
Fiadh2024*Fiadh2024*
- Date posted
- 1y
100% agree
Ari925Ari925
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymous This part is scary but I try to think of it as a good thing instead of taboo like looking at the upside of it ? Because really if there was a time to “ figure out “ what you like there is no better time than now and what an amazing thing it is to have the freedom to do so and support of those who care because like this day in age it really isn’t a big deal !!! And if am queer, then that means that whatever makes me happiest will happen!! So yea whenever I have the thoughts I say yea maybe!!! It’s so cool I get to figure this out with out pressure ocd!! But I also don’t need to figure it out right this second !! I got time !!! I trust myself to do what works for me !! ( basically I’m countering ocds bs telling you you need to know now or else and all the other ultimatums it threathens you with.. I’m liek mhmm okay yea I guess but figuring out what you like it’s that crazy of a thing really !!! ) eventually ocd realizes this isn’t actually a threat when you respond to it like … it’s not a threat so the urgency and anxiety will lessen and the thoughts won’t seem so important
Ari925Ari925
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ari925 Isn’t ** that crazy of a thing
Ari925Ari925
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ari925 I also say sometimes you know what maybe I am in denial oh well!!! I’m gonna keep focusing on things that are actually important !
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ari925 thank you so much for your response. Means a lot to have some support from someone who actually understands. I like your approach to take your time and have no urgency. I especially find your statement “if I’m queer, then that means whatever makes me happiest will happen.” That’s all I want is to be happy anyway, so I actually find that comforting. Thank you again!!
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confused writer
- Date posted
- 24w
HOCD made you feel horn.y?
Like I feel geroinals ALL DAY and it’s stuck… I think I’m bi. But this still drives me nuts.
ocdsurviver
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m so tired. HOCD is the worst.
I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 16w
hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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