When is your OCD at its worst?

I always feel the most anxiety and dread in the morning. That’s when I start overthinking a lot, and it becomes really hard not to seek reassurance on the internet and so on. What do you all do to ease the morning anxiety a bit?

One of my first memories of OCD was from when I was about 8-12 years old. I’ve always struggled with sleeping and prone to twisting and turning due to my brain going like 🧠 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Anyways once I couldn’t sleep and got out of bed one of my parents said, with compassion, ”oh it’s so late, why are you awake it’s school tomorrow” and when they followed me to my room I saw that the time was 22:22 and I felt a really scary feeling in my chest (today I know it was anxiety) and from that day on the time 22:22 🕰️ followed me for years. I was twisting and turning and feeling anxious about my digital clock (I’m a 90s girly) turning 22:22. I could get issues taking deep breaths, being sweaty, uncomfortable and scared and feeling like ”ITS SOON 22:22 AND WHEN THE TIME PASSES IT WILL BE TOO LATE”. I never really understood exactly what was going to be ”too late” but I’m guessing it was getting too little sleep absolutely blown out of proportion. As soon it passed 22:22 it was all good and I could fall asleep 😴 I don’t struggle with those numbers today instead I smile and feel compassionate towards little me. Still OCD sucks, I still struggle with sleep times to times and do have some magical thinking but the big difference is that I logically know that it’s not real even if it emotionally sometimes feel that way. Take care out there. If this made you feel less lonely, wanna share your first memories of OCD? ❤️

The past month or so I have been in and out of OCD spirals. I’ll have a couple days of spiraling and then a couple days of being better. Then a couple days spiraling and then a couple days doing better. Today is one of those days where I can feel the anxiety under the surface and where I am monitoring it to see/keep it in check. Yesterday I was good, I had good dialogue in my mind, I was content with making mistakes in the past, but being a better human and person these days going forward. I can feel the ebb and flow of it today where the anxiety spikes, my internal dialogue say “am I going to freak out”, “confess this”, “say that”, “don’t say that”, “I’m a bad person”, “I’m a good person that is learning and growing every day” etc etc. Then the anxiety comes down, my mind feels clearer, less noisy and less physical feeling, and I feel like I don’t care about the OCD and me as much. Just been feeling the ebbs and flows of OCD over the course of months and days, and even within the day itself.