Stage in recovery?

Just curious if anyone else’s “recovery” looks similar to this. I’ve been trying really hard to let thoughts be and not engage. I practice heavily on not engaging with them and not allowing myself to ruminate. I have cut back on safety behaviors and I also resist or delay compulsions. I mainly have pure o so my compulsions are ruminating and googling and trying to compare myself to others. Well since I have been implementing all this, I don’t necessarily feel “better” but I notice when I almost panic, I stop myself and move on. Like the panic and anxiety is still there but I’m still doing what I need to do. I’m still living my life despite the feelings. But with all this, I just feel depressed. Like I just feel sad and like I’m never gonna feel 100% like myself. I’ll always have this ocd haze over me. Is this common in recovery?

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

Comment deleted by user

Anonymous 567

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Yes! Good way to put it.

Anonymous 567

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Ya I guess part of recovery is accepting that.

justanotherday

Date posted: 1y

Similar, my flare up started almost 2 weeks ago, i’ve put in lots of mental work and reached out for help and got seen by a psychiatrist as i’ve been through this before. To be honest, I feel a little better which is a huge relief as I was in a hopeless panic for the majority of the flare up but I can agree that there is like a lingering sadness with the recovery. You’ll have thoughts that aren’t fully processed in the back of your head about the flare up you’ve had and have chest spikes of anxiety saying you don’t wanna go through it again.

Anonymous 567

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Chest spikes is a good term. I often feel like ocd is so hard to explain when it comes to the anxiety and sensations we encounter on a daily basis. Chest spikes is what I think I call a mini panic attack. It’s like a panic attack that starts but doesn’t get all the way to being a full blown panic attack. It’s like 10 seconds of doom/scared/“oh no oh shit here we again” and then you talk yourself down from it and return to “normal”

OCDwarrior2020

Date posted: 1y

This has definitely happened to me. I went through extensive therapy and then once I felt like I was ready, continued to lessen the number of sessions. However, once I stopped therapy, I definitely still felt anxious and that any moment my OCD could come back. I have gone back a few times to my therapist since then and she told me this is very normal for someone with OCD. She gave me some tips that might be helpful for you! One, by being "afraid" that you might always have these thoughts, you are reinforcing OCD's belief that you should be afraid of these thoughts or that they mean something. So though I was resisting compulsions, I was still really afraid of the core fear - that I was/am/are a bad person. With lingering anxiety, she said I maybe wasn't fully leaning into my core fear. No, I didn't have to believe my core fear was true, but I had to say "hm I don't know, I might have these fears forever and I might be a bad person, but I am going to stay in the present and continue on with my day". So she said you could view this as another "OCD" fear in that you have to accept the uncertainty. Right now, your fear might be that you might not ever be better, which might start a rumination cycle. What helped me is saying, "hm i might not ever be better, but I am going to continue on with my day and my task at hand". Before I started thinking this way, I had a lot of fear that i might not ever get better. And there are still days I feel like that. But it helped me to remind myself that doubt is just a part of the OCD process and by fearing that the thoughts will come back i am only giving those fears/thoughts/and OCD more power. I am definitely not perfect at this but wanted to share what helped for me and I still use until this day.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 22w

Journey to recovery…

To the people who are in therapy and on their recovery journey when the ocd is tending to die down a bit is it normal for the ocd to keep switching themes until it fully dissipates? Has anyone experienced this?

Harm OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

Feel lost and without hope

I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.

Holl1

Date posted: 18w

OCD

So I’ve noticed that my OCD has calmed down, I’m getting less intrusive thoughts but I feel more uncertain than ever. Is this normal for recovery?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Stage in recovery?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community