I need advice

When I was 12 I made one of the biggest mistake in my entire life. Last night, my brain decided to replay that feeling over and over again to the point of starting to hate myself for it. Now I can't stop thinking that I need to be punished for it, I should never be forgiven and that I am a bad person. My partner should break up with me because I am a bad person and they don't know about it so I don't deserve to be loved at all. I know, however, that I made that mistake a long time ago, that I am a completely different person and that I am a good person now, and that's what matters. But I can't get myself to forgive my past self because if I forgive him, that means I'm a bad person for condoning what I did. Do you have any advice on how to overcome this? Thank you in advance

Username: SteinStein

Date posted: 24w ago

I’m always blown away by how many other people describe things on here that align to what my experiences are almost exactly. Many years ago out of nowhere I started fixating on a poor choice I made in my past and felt all sorts of shame and guilt. It eventually passed and this too shall pass for you. Focus on who you are in the present day, not something you did in your past. You’ve come to terms with it already, this is just OCD messing with you.

Username: Amara Amara

Date posted: 24w ago

Imagine if your friend made that mistake at that age, would you ask them to punish themselves? Do you think they didn't deserve to be happy or forgiven? Also, you were in the earlier, younger years of your life, and many children don't grow up enough to reach that age. Also, most mistakes happen at a young age. Additionally, the past is the past. Why should we spend our time analyzing it? Punishment isn't fair for that age, and even judges usually decide on alternative punishments for children. I hope these help you.

Username: GalaticPeacockGalaticPeacock

Date posted: 24w ago

Forgiving yourself does not mean condoning what you did. Forgive yourself so you can move on.

Username: Magzzz

Date posted: 2y ago

How can I ever forgive myself?…

How can I forgive myself for the mistakes I made as a teenager (maybe 15 through 18 or 19 I don’t remember exactly) when at the time I had no bad intentions I just didn’t understand what I was getting into? How can I forgive myself for being so dumb? I should of known. But unfortunately now dealing with real event and other themes trying to find “proof” it’s so exhausting and unsettling especially when the worst case scenario about my self and my past comes up literally every day and I have to fight it with “maybe, maybe not”…when will it ever go away. Do I even deserve for it to go away? No matter who I’ve told whether it was a parent or a therapist they all say the same thing…….let it go……..how am I supposed to do that. I want to do great things in life. I want to make up for all I have done wrong. I want to help people but I can’t even help myself. I hate myself. I don’t even like myself at all. I would go back in a heartbeat. But I can’t. I’m stuck in this mental hell. Will I ever be ok again…….

Username: icanttakeita...

Date posted: 36w ago

I can’t forgive myself

I did something 5-6 years ago when I was barely an adult, and I know it was stupid, but I know I can never take it back, and I hate myself everyday for it. I feel like I can’t move forward in life because I can’t forgive myself and honestly sometimes don’t even want people to see I exist. I haven’t done that same thing in years but I still see myself as a horrible person. How do I move forward. I’ve been in therapy since I was 19 and also have extreme extreme checking ocd and it hasn’t helped but this rumination has been a big problem lately.

Username: Mitu_001

Date posted: 30w ago

Real event

I did a bad thing when I was a kid. I feel like I dont deserve to move on and dont deserve to be happy. I keep thinking about the damage that I did and I feel like I deserve to be alone . And that I cant be trusted. Any advice?

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