rocd

i rlly need some people to relate to and feel normal bcs i cant tell if this is my ocd or if ive just lost feelings for my bf. which i do not want at all. at first i realized i cant tell if texting him updates of my day and telling him about my life was becoming a compulsion bcs i felt myself losing the urge to do it which already made me feel guilty and bad. so i started texting less and then i basically gave into my ocd i think bcs now i text him less and we havent hung out in a while and i don't feel the feeling that i miss him even tho i want to and i don't feel anything lovey dovey over text like how i used to. i genuinely feel numb like nothing and completely disconnected and disassociated. and i hate this feeling idk if it means ive completely lost feelings bcs just last week i was doing great with him and we have been together for a while now. idk how this happens but it feels awful and im struggling to tell if its my ocd or not or if its even normal to feel this numb bcs even i cycle through disconnection a lot but i don't think it's ever gotten this bad. is it because i gave into my ocd or is it not my ocd at all? can someone give advice/relate

Nica

Date posted: 1y

I know OCD can be very hard to deal with, but this post is seeking reassurance, which only makes things worse. Here are some helpful tools and resources to help you through this: -The Psychology of Seeking Reassurance: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-how-to-stop-cycle -Confessing compulsion vs. healthy sharing: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing -What’s Pure O OCD? https://www.verywellmind.com/pure-o-primarily-obsessional-ocd-4159144 -OCD vs. GAD Differences: https://ocdla.com/ocd-vs-gad-7071 -How To Stop Rumination Video: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -ERP Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf -What is ERP therapy: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ -What’s An OCD Trigger? https://psychcentral.com/ocd/what-is-an-ocd-trigger -Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques -OCD vs. Anxiety Disorders: https://www.talkspace.com/mental-health/conditions/articles/ocd-vs-anxiety/ -ERP Techniques for Reassurance video: https://youtu.be/D1O3RGnLjRM?feature=shared

loathe

Date posted: 1y

i get what you mean completely dude i get you 100%, i’ll sometimes loose feelings completely for my girlfriend sometimes, like she’s a stranger and i feel forced to text her, like i love her but i also don’t, i get you completely over the numb and disconnected stuff it’s exactly how i feel. im not sure if it is ocd thing or we’re both just odd, but we’re both on an ocd app feeling the same way so i’d say it might be ocd related. my advice is to give it a little bit and try to start getting into the habit of seeing him and texting again, for me that’s what helps. just a little hiccup in my cycle when it happens and getting back into the habit helps it. habit seems like a bad word i guess but good habits can be good for structure, and having structure in my life is key for me

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@loathe thats the thing like idk if texting overly is a compulsion or a choice thats what makes it so much harder i feel like thats what put me in this loop is idk if im choosing to hang out with him or not or if its a compulsion. and i know everyone says the urgency will tell u if its a compulsion or not but that doesn't work for me anymore bcs if i don't text or hang out with him then i feel guilty and stressed and sad does that make it a compulsion or do i just get sad that i'm letting my ocd take over?? i seriously don't know😭😭😭

loathe

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous maybe you just feel sad and stressed because you just miss him? i feel like when i don’t talk or see my girlfriend for awhile i get sad and more stressed and i feel guilty for not trying more to communicate with her. maybe your just overthinking this a little and sad that you haven’t been in contact as much as before. have you tried talking to him about how you feel?

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@loathe i cant tell if its that or not like even just now i noticed we were hanging out and his text saying he was here was left upopened and i felt too comfortable with that so i felt bad and texted him hi even tho we r hanging out right now and its like ic ant tell if that was a compulsion or not sk every time i text him an update ir anything i feel like its a compulsion bcs i feel bad but i don't want it to be

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@loathe what makes me even sadder is like we chose to spend more time together this week but im imagining that i wouldn't even be sad if he cancelled on me which i don't want to feel i wld never feel that way before😭 idk if thats even how i rly feel but just the thought makes me sad

Mariabae

Date posted: 23w

i am disconnected rocd

Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”

🧡🍁🎃

Date posted: 20w

Feelings

Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!

Mariabae

Date posted: 14w

i feel so strange

hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest

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