Harm ocd

Hi everyone i have harm ocd to my cat and tonight i had a intrusive thought about burning my cat to death with a aim a flame and after that i did erp with that so i sat with my cat with the aim a flame in hand and i was okay but my ice didn’t feel right so i had to do it again and then i started thinking i could accidentally start this and kill him and then my ocd started to get very real almost telling me to light it i got so freaked out i had to go outside can ocd make you do this

cjt67

Date posted: 1y

I have been telling myself that if i wanted to do i gave myself 2 chances to do it but my ocd is still saying i want to do it even thought i don’t do is that normal too

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 1y

When you were a kid, did you have problems with perfectionism or anger? I ask because i did and i also used to have thoughts like youre having.

cjt67

Date posted: 1y

@Ifiknewthen Not really but my child hood was hard Beacsue like i lost both my parents bye 12 so

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@cjt67 I am sorry for your loss. Exposure response temporarily causes high, anxiety and stress because you were not doing the compulsion there for breaking the cycle as you keep doing it if you’re doing it correctly, you will slowly not feel this the stress anymore but the first time to do it you will because you’re not doing your compulsion to relieve it. You’re basically forcing yourself to fill the anxiety of your thoughts versus doing compulsion and getting stuck in the OCD cycle. Ocd can not make you/ take over your body it is a fear and anxiety disorder where you do compulsions. Ocd stands for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is sadly common for harm ocd to make fear losing control. Going outside is an avoidance compulsion. I recomm looking up mental compulsions as they are hard to realize you are doing them. I am proud of you for trying to do ERP, please do not feel discouraged that ERP did not go very well the first time it is normal for your OCD to get more intense and try to convince you to do compulsions and to struggle to do ERP correctly the first time first couple times. I took me like 10 try’s so please keep trying you can do it, it just takes practice and practice. Ocd is one of the highest anxiety disorders it is going to take some time to treat it.

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@cjt67 You are experiencing another common compulsion of trying to prove to yourself you’re not going to do your OCD thoughts which I completely understand with harm OCD why do you want to do that but that just makes it worse instead just let yourself feel the thoughts so then you’re able to break free from the cycle as your logic, part of your brain, slowly learns to not react to the OCD part of your brain. you kinda have to teach your brain not to react to your OCD. The best way to explain how you feel with treated OCD is it’s kind of like how I assume a normal person feels about an intrusive thought when you have it you don’t like it but you don’t do anything about it and you kind of forget about it.

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Have you spoken to your grandparents, like we discussed?

Astjtoju13!

Date posted: 25w

Harm ocd

Someone please help me I’m having intrusive thoughts of hurting my pets and I’m really scared of myself and I want these thoughts to go away. Can someone please help me I’m scared and I don’t know if I’m a monster

emma345

Date posted: 23w

Scared to interact with my cat because of zocd

NSFW 17f So basically I did something sexual to the cat when I was younger. It wasn't like full on bestiality, my privates weren't touching the cat and I wasn't touching the cats privates but it was still sexual. I didn't know what I was doing was wrong. It didn't harm the cat in any way, but of course it's still horrible. So I developed real event ocd that ruined my life complitely. Most of the time I don't think I will male it to 20. Sometimes it's a living hell. I developed it more than a year ago and I barely even remember this year cause I was so consumed with guilt it was the only thing in my head. So i also developed zoophilia ocd because of it. And I feel so bad cause I can't interact with my cat anymore. Because she wants to and I have to ignore her. Slowly I started to be scared to let her on my bed. So I stopped. Then in my room. Stopped doing that too. I still tried to give her some attention just outside of my room. Then I got scared to touch her. So I stopped doing that, but I used her brush to pet her with it and her toys to play with her so i don't physically touch her. Then my ocd went like but what if you are subconsciously using her for sexual gratification when you look at her? So now I can't even look at my cat. I look away when she is around, block my sight with a hand, close my eyes or if I can I leave. But the heartbreaking part is. Before I remembered what I did I was giving my cat a lot of attention. Like everyone says I'm her favorite and she only allows me to hold her and pet her the certain ways. So for all that time she is desperately trying to get my attention. She jumps on my rooms door, meows for a long time, tries to sneak in my room and stuff like that. And It's so sad I just have to ignore her. Especially cause she doesn't understands why. She was getting so much love and then randomly she is being ignored?? idk her real age cause we took her from the street, but she lives with us for 13 years, so she is not young. She is pretty healthy so I don't think she is going to die any soon but still. if I never get over it she will spend her last years of life ignored. and this makes me want to cry and want to throw up. but I don't know what to do. if I touch her I start freaking out and convincing myself that I used her somehow for sexual stuff even if I didn't do anything like that. I'm so scared. and also sad for her. and I miss my cat tbh. like everhtime I have to close my door when she tried to enter I feel so bad. but I'm so scared. because after what I did to her I'm already a monster. I don't want to add anything else. but I also feel bad for ignoring her.

Brian.Hope

Date posted: 20w

Harm ocd

Hey, I suffer from harm ocd and I feel as if it’s non stop everything I do everyday I believe I killed someone I believe it’s harm ocd and false memory but like today I went to the store and saw a older lady and my head thinks of images of me pushing them or killing then and right after that thought I feel as if I done it then the rest of the day I ruminate replaying everything. I know erp and I should just accept the thought and let it go but it’s not easy and I feel as if i really hurt or killed someone and I don’t want to go to jail for something I don’t want to do . Any tips would be appreciated I don’t know how to accept and move on when it feels so real that I did something!

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