Anyone else?

Does anyone else feel like OCD has completely taken their life away? I used to be so full of joy, so hopeful for the future. Sure, I had some anxieties and intrusive thoughts here and there but ever since my triggering event a few months ago I have completely spiraled. I honestly don't even know who I am anymore, all I can think about is my thoughts and my brain tells me to be afraid of everything i do. Daily activities that I used to not give a second thought about have now become a struggle. I feel like I can't even go to the store or work because of the constant fight against my thoughts. I miss the person I used to be and I feel every second of my life being wasted because of this debilitating disorder. I feel so stuck, I can't even live life anymore. The depression and anxiety makes me feel like I can barely get through the day. I can't stop thinking how I was a normal person just earlier this year. If anyone is going through this or has advice please comment🤍

Username: StilichoStilicho

Date posted: 23w ago

You'll be able to beat this, OCD freaking sucks and I feel you. You're not alone in this battle and there's no shame in it. Me and you are similar in that we both used to be full of joy and hopeful...until OCD started smashing our heads with a hammer haha. The most important part is that we recognize we have OCD and we're actively trying to seek help for it :) My mental health was in a really bad spot prior to treatment and I genuinely couldn't believe how badly I was down-spiraling; I felt like I was going insane and that I belonged in an asylum. I still have a long way to go, no way am I close to having "conquered" OCD...but have faith in yourself, we got this :D. I was skeptical of the help provided on here, but it does actually help you, even if it sounds ridiculous at-first.

Username: scatcat01scatcat01

Date posted: 23w ago

@Stilicho Thank you, it's encouraging to know other people are struggling too. I'm trying to push through my thoughts and do things I enjoy and go out into public despite the anxiety it brings, but sometimes it feels like it's getting worse instead of better. I'm trying to stay positive and know that this will pass

Username: kmcocdkmcocd

Date posted: 23w ago

Just wanted to comment that you are not alone. I am currently going through an “episode” right now due to some hard life events that happened earlier this year and it is not fun. One thing that helps me is knowing that this is not forever and OCD comes in waves which means that this section will eventually calm down again at some point. Be gentle with yourself and when you feel up to it, do those things that make you feel like YOU again. Hang in there - it will all get better at some point. We got this❤️

Username: scatcat01scatcat01

Date posted: 23w ago

@kmcocd Thank you for reminding me of this, I've had other themes that have come and gone so I'm trying to trust that this one will too. I am trying to push past my brain telling me to stay home and avoid anxiety, it's just so hard sometimes but I know it will get better.

Username: Fellow OCD peer Fellow OCD p...

Date posted: 16w ago

@kmcocd Thank you so much for saying this. This is really giving me hope.

Username: DianaxDianax

Date posted: 16w ago

I honestly feel the exact same way right now I miss who I used to be and I just want to make progress and gain my life back . All I can say is keep trying to get help and seek treatment!

Username: Fellow OCD peer Fellow OCD p...

Date posted: 16w ago

I am going through this as well. I can’t believe someone is going through this as well. It feels good to know that someone else is going through this as well. Hopefully it gives you hope knowing that you are not alone.

Username: MonarchbutterflyMonarchbutte...

Date posted: 23w ago

I get this for sure. I was doing all right for I while, but a few months ago something traumatic happened in my life that was close to what a lot of my intrusive thought feed off of, and it has been hell. I’ve been struggling with depression because of it all and my thoughts are so awful and constant. I don’t want to get out of bed most days, I actively avoid doing normal things just to not get triggered and I’m constantly in a state of anxiety and dread. But what I’m learning is that you have to feel the pain to work through it. Cry, breakdown, feel it. It’s awful, really awful, but I found that it helps, the more I let it hurt and sit with my anxiety the more it fades over time and I can handle it again. I’m really sorry your going through this, I wish I could give you more advice to help but I haven’t really found my way through it yet either. I highly suggest finding someone to vent to because sometimes just verbally saying what’s on your mind helps, or even writing it down. I’m here for you if you want to talk, I know how hard and draining it feels right now, but it can only get better from here. Stay strong.

Username: scatcat01scatcat01

Date posted: 23w ago

@Monarchbutterfly Yes, that's exactly how I feel. It all happened so fast only a few months ago and now it feels like I'm a totally different person. I've been getting so angry and frustrated with my brain that it feels like I hate myself sometimes. But I am trying to give myself grace and sit with the anxiety instead of fight it because I know now that makes it worse. It's just the most awful mental fight every single day and I just desperately want to escape it but I can't. I've been trying to push past the anxiety and go out and do things anyway but it just feels like it's getting worse. I did read recently that the extreme anxiety that comes with pushing past our fears is a good thing because it means our OCD is getting angry at not having control anymore. It's the compulsions and avoidance that gives comfort, so doing the opposite is making positive progress even if it feels worse. Maybe that can help you if you're also struggling to do things. Thank you for the encouragement, i'm here too if you want to talk. You got this, keep pushing forward. We're all a lot stronger than we think

Username: Fellow OCD peer Fellow OCD p...

Date posted: 16w ago

@scatcat01 Thank you for that. It feels good to know that I’m not alone and it gives me hope.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Is my life over?

I feel like OCD has made me a shell of the person I used to be. I am not able to keep up with work, family or friends. I am worried I will lose the ability to work and connect.

Username: Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w ago

DPDR and pure O

I’ve been suffering from non stop 24/7 dpdr for a year and a half now. I never really had OCD in a big way before I suffered some major panic attacks. Since then I’ve been a completely different person. I used to live a carefree life of traveling. Socializing. Experiencing life. After my panic attacks I became agoraphobic, couldn’t leave the house or work. My thoughts were like a washing machine over and over. I’ve done a lot of work to help overcome the fear of panic, but I’m still stuck in a 24/7 DPDR state- my thoughts never stop, I’m always searching for answers about my mental health, I have music stuck in my head from the time I wake up to the time I got to sleep, my mind is racing, attacking what I value, saying hopeless thoughts, anxiously worried about everything, I don’t do physical compulsions but I’m mentally checking myself all the time to see if I’m in DPDR still, or if things feel “weird” - I have a huge fear of going crazy and death. Although I’m not having panic attacks anymore, I’m still mentally anxious all the time. I feel like I cannot escape my thoughts, they torture me. I can’t feel any emotions, I’ve lost my sense of self, I can’t make new memories or be present - I’m constantly in my head. A lot of what kicked this off was years of trauma that was stored in my nervous system, once unleashed, I haven’t been able to recover. I want my life back. I’m tired of living in fear and exhaustion to the point where nothing brings me joy. Anxiety and ocd have taken my freedom from me, I feel like the thoughts rule every decision I make instead of being able to live freely, sometimes I don’t think it’s anxiety because I can’t feel anything physically, but these thoughts torture me- no one should have to live this way. What do I do? I’m taking medication but all it’s done is stop the physical symptoms, the thinking has not gotten better

Username: Schaune

Date posted: 40w ago

Difficulty finding happiness again.

I’ve experienced OCD since I was 11 years old (I am 29 now), and was diagnosed with it in 2021. So, I’ve lived more than half of my life dealing with this disorder in silence. I’ve recently been feeling like I’m no longer a good person. That all of the things I’ve held close to my heart and loved, no longer matter to me. As much as I try to go back to those things, it sometimes feels so foreign and makes me feel anxious. Has anybody else experienced this before? If so, what are some things you’ve done to help you find happiness and joy in the things you’ve cherished?

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