OCD images

@pureolife Goodness me that is true. You did help a little honestly! I’m just having a hard time believing that when I’m feeling like this that I’m not a danger and I don’t need to be as far away from her as is physically possible for her safety. I never thought intrusive “thoughts” could be anything like this honestly. You’re right though - that dog is the thing that absolutely matters the most to me in this world. She IS my whole world. It’s so hard not to care when you feel and see this horrible horrible things and just want to protect the things you love even if it’s from yourself.

@Anonymous If you easily believed it we wouldn't be here. That's the trap. Get treatment and it will get better. You’re okay. You just have ocd. And you deserve loving relationships with pets and people. Your thoughts are not your choice. Your responses and actions are.

@Anonymous It is OCD. I don’t know how long yours has been going on but this time that’s where mine started. I do home health which is where we go into patients homes and care for them and I used to violent intrusive thoughts of stabbing the patient and blood. It was horrifying and scared the crap out of me to.

@Allison.smith1 Thank you for saying that. Did you genuinely feel like you were scared you would act on it? Because that’s where I am. It’s so graphic and bad and I just want my Ella to be safe. Even if it’s protecting her from myself.

@Anonymous I have the same thing too, asking with the visuals. Mine is centered around my children so it's horrible. I panic so bad that I make myself physically sick. The best advice I can give is to breathe through the panic (easier said than done). The panic and thoughts will eventually go away, but can be terrifying during an intrusive thought episode!

@Anonymous Yes. My brain convinced me that I did do it (even though I know I didn’t). I would text the clients wife everyday after work to make sure they were ok. I still get uncomfortable sometimes working there. So I get it

@Allison.smith1 How do you guys even deal with this. Right now its so bad and I panic so much and its to the point I don’t even know its ocd. Im so uncomfortable in my own skin I don’t even know how to manage this feeling

@Anonymous I feel you so much and I’m so sorry! I know it’s a different situation but I raised my pup literally from bottle age and so to me like…I am her mom…so it’s like, what the hell with these images and thoughts and feelings. I raised her and I love her like my child (I can’t have kids) and I’d rather die than want to hurt her but I feel like my body (or brain?) wants me to. It’s so scary. Did you ever feel better? Does it get better? I’m so terrified and literally can’t believe I’m thinking of not keeping her. It would literally break my heart. But I don’t know how long I can live with these images and feeling like this without snapping.

@bouncydog21 I feel you. I’m trying to hang in there in exactly the same way myself. I want to crawl out of my own skin over this too. I’m sending you hugs because this truly sucks.

@Allison.smith1 Oh my goodness. I feel like it’s getting close to that point with me - I’m so scared I’m going to snap from seeing all of this in my head and I just want it all to stop. I feel it literally physically and I don’t know how to stop it. At this point I’m so scared it’s not ocd and I’m just genuinely going into dangerous territory

@Anonymous Honestly, all I can say is to tell yourself it's OCD and it's not real. I know it's almost impossible not to panic, but the more fear you show or the more you try to push the thought away, the worse it gets. I'm still learning to do this myself. I'm on week 3 of ERP therapy. My therapist tells me to sit with my children until the panic subsides and honestly it's hard as heck.

@bouncydog21 It was terrible in the beginning. I didnt know how to cope either. Texting his wife is the only thing that made me feel remotely better. Just know you are not alone and I have dealt with about every thought you can possibly think of

@Anonymous I’m so trying. I’m on week two of therapy myself and it’s tough going. 🙈 Do you find sometimes thought it’s hard to believe that too - that it’s *just* ocd? Because of what I’m seeing in my head it makes me feel like there’s no way I’m safe for her and that it’s something much worse. I agree with you too - if I sit and think about any of this the images get even worse. But on the flip side, it’s like…how can you *not* think about it?!! When you’re feeling it and seeing it constantly. Plus I find that the thoughts make me feel so sick it’s like…I WANT to push them out of my head because I don’t ever want to see them again! I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. I hope it gets easier for both of us.

@Anonymous Before I did a lot of research I didn’t know it was OCD either. But I watched a lot of videos and learned that a lot of people go through this. It absolutely sucks but you will get through it

@Allison.smith1 Thank you. That makes me feel a little better. I have seen so many stories too - it’s just then when I get hit with another gruesome, awful thought, it comes over me that maybe the people I’ve read about’s thoughts weren’t as bad as mine and there’s something more wrong with me. It’s a terrible thing.

@Anonymous Me to. I would watch videos on YouTube and the first couple ones weren’t that bad and I thought there was something really wrong with me. It’s all OCD. Some just have it worse than others and In different forms

@Allison.smith1 That’s exactly the problem for me. Some of the images I’ve seen are so graphic and horrible and the physical feeling of like “you’re going to do something you don’t want to do and you have to fight it 24/7” combined with it…especially when it comes to something you love, is just horrible. It makes me want to get far away from her so I don’t hurt her. I spend all day no matter what I’m doing feeling like I’m fighting all of this back.

@Anonymous It is isn’t it?!! I’m not even sure what to do. I’m terrified I will hurt her. Does it still mean it’s not going to happen if you have physical feelings that go with it? It feels so real. But I am in therapy through here (only on week 2!) and also plan on at least following through on the psych evaluation in person. It’s just so hard.