Help
I fucked up in the past, the individual I did wrong has forgiven me and wants to move on from this “mistake(s)” but I simply cannot. I hate myself and can’t fathom why I would even do or say such things and now all I do is feel shame and guilt. I can’t be in the now and I can’t seem to move on. Please anymore help…..
I know what helps me is unconditional love and acceptance. We are human and we can’t expect ourselves to be perfect. Take the time to reconnect with yourself in a loving manner and not in a punishment manner. There is more life to live and you are more than your mistakes.
@JulioKelle Thank you. Do you have any tips on how to stop the obsessive thinking on the mistakes?
@Charmander5 Yeah, so OCD is not different than any other subtype you would be under Real event OCD. There are three ways that I know have helped me. 1. Accept that you are going to have these thoughts, and these are unhelpful thoughts so I’m going to let them pass. 2. Accept that everything is not black and white and begin to talk to yourself with more compassion. Not giving yourself reassurance because that is a compulsion, but talking to yourself as if you were speaking to a loved one. 3. Talk to the thought as if you were talking to someone who is drunk. Like they say things and you’ll “agree” with them even though it’s just to ease the awkwardness or the rashness of the person. It’s not agreeing to the thoughts, but merely just accepting and moving on.
@JulioKelle You have no idea how genuinely thankful I am for your reply. Been feeling so hopeless, thank you.
@Charmander5 I want to preface that this will be REALLY hard because we are in this perfectionist mindset. It will bring lots of discomfort and you have to sit in it, because taking that risk of uncertainty is what’s going to bring you freedom from this perspective and position.
@Charmander5 Of course, my OCD used to be an all day thing and everyday thing ever since I was a child. I wish I could’ve afforded this community a long time ago. I don’t have therapists but I listen to YouTube videos. Mark Dejesus is a Christian YouTuber who has suffered with OCD. Idk if you’re Christian, but he really helped me a lot. There are other YouTubers as well who aren’t under a denomination openly that I’ve watched who are extremely helpful!
@JulioKelle I am Catholic so I will definitely check those videos out. Also have been dealing with OCD since I was a kid. I overcame it and it recently resurfaced stronger than ever. Thank you again, I don’t you or your story but as an outsider you’re doing amazing!!
@Charmander5 Thank you! I’ve struggled with contamination OCD and Religious OCD. I’m currently overcoming Relationship OCD and it’s all just the same. Keep you mind leveled and this won’t be “fixed” it’ll come up, but it’s how you relate to it! It’s gonna be ok. God loves you unconditionally and will help give you the strength to push through this. Also remember when these thoughts come, it’s better to not even acknowledge if that’s possible. Even Jesus did that when being convicted of actions, he said nothing. You don’t have to attend to these things. God bless friend🙏
@JulioKelle I am tearing up (Emotional as it is), but the love of God is truly something that overpowers all. Crazy once you overcome one subtype, OCD jumps to another. I may be irrational with my OCD, but I tend to be objective and rational when speaking on someone else’s so if you ever need anything feel free to reach out. I can tell you’re a strong individual and will persevere through this. - Ignoring it is the only way to overcome it from my experience, so you’re right about not acknowledging it…just so hard once you fall down the rabbit hole. - I also realize OCD latches on to the things you love or value most. This is my first time dealing with real event OCD and I think it’s because it is a mistake that went against my morals, values, and the person I love most. I’ll try to ignore it and realize I need to simply keep going. So thank you.
@Charmander5 I’ll follow you, so then we can see whenever we post. Talking for me helps a lot. So same for you. You’re 100% right, OCD just expects to hurt you by attacking what you value most. You’ve got this. I pray that you too will overcome this and be stronger than this OCD flare up. God is with you, pray and reach out to him. God bless!🙏
ur not ur actions. I know it’s hard to comprehend but let me give an example, so one day someone idk saves a kid from being ran over or something but the next day pushes a kid out the way to get to something. We can see that the first action is good and the second action is kinda bad but how do we determine whether that person is good or bad? We literally can’t, humans are wayyyy to complex and ever changing to put someone down as anything like good or bad we aren’t that because we simpily just are humans and that’s it. Matt Marshall on TikTok has really good videos on acceptance and it’s the one thing i actually found that made a huge difference for me and let me tell u my ocd was and still kinda is absolutely horrid and I was in a rut for months straight but recently the thoughts aren’t effecting me as much as they used to due to the knowledge of self acceptance. It does take a while for ur brain to accept that in itself and for u to comprehend and understand it but when I say it’s so worth it it really is u just have to give urself space and time to put it in effect. 🫶🏻
@emilyxo17 Thank you. Truly. Thank you. I wish more people realized the severity of OCD and how debilitating it is. I just got this app and already feel more understood.
How can I forgive myself for the mistakes I made as a teenager (maybe 15 through 18 or 19 I don’t remember exactly) when at the time I had no bad intentions I just didn’t understand what I was getting into? How can I forgive myself for being so dumb? I should of known. But unfortunately now dealing with real event and other themes trying to find “proof” it’s so exhausting and unsettling especially when the worst case scenario about my self and my past comes up literally every day and I have to fight it with “maybe, maybe not”…when will it ever go away. Do I even deserve for it to go away? No matter who I’ve told whether it was a parent or a therapist they all say the same thing…….let it go……..how am I supposed to do that. I want to do great things in life. I want to make up for all I have done wrong. I want to help people but I can’t even help myself. I hate myself. I don’t even like myself at all. I would go back in a heartbeat. But I can’t. I’m stuck in this mental hell. Will I ever be ok again…….
I did something 5-6 years ago when I was barely an adult, and I know it was stupid, but I know I can never take it back, and I hate myself everyday for it. I feel like I can’t move forward in life because I can’t forgive myself and honestly sometimes don’t even want people to see I exist. I haven’t done that same thing in years but I still see myself as a horrible person. How do I move forward. I’ve been in therapy since I was 19 and also have extreme extreme checking ocd and it hasn’t helped but this rumination has been a big problem lately.
When I was 12 I made one of the biggest mistake in my entire life. Last night, my brain decided to replay that feeling over and over again to the point of starting to hate myself for it. Now I can't stop thinking that I need to be punished for it, I should never be forgiven and that I am a bad person. My partner should break up with me because I am a bad person and they don't know about it so I don't deserve to be loved at all. I know, however, that I made that mistake a long time ago, that I am a completely different person and that I am a good person now, and that's what matters. But I can't get myself to forgive my past self because if I forgive him, that means I'm a bad person for condoning what I did. Do you have any advice on how to overcome this? Thank you in advance
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