I'm a big jumbled mess. The hocd has backed down quite a bit to the point where I was starting to have moments of forgetting and my attraction to guys came back. Here's the issue. I'm a Christian and my boyfriend and I are in an unequally yoked relationship. I feel like to any normal person this wouldn't matter but my OCD moved on to this, picking at it viciously. Of course it makes me sad that we don't have the same view about the existence of God, but it's never bothered me THIS much. Also the fact that we have premarital sex is starting to bother me as well when it never did before. It's killing me. I feel like I can't talk to God anymore. I've been obsessing over it all day. What do I do? I don't want to break up with him. He is my other half. I love him so much. I know this is a really sticky subject. Please no anti religious comments.

This wasn’t a big deal until your OCD got involved. That’s one of the hallmarks of OCD - it takes something small and makes it big. I had your EXACT obsession 23 years ago. My OCD told me to break up with my girlfriend, and stop having sex with her. She was not a Christian. I did not listen to it. The pain eventually faded. We’ve been married for 20 years now.

It’s amazing how similar your story is to mine. I fell in love with a boy who was non-practicing Christian, but agnostic, and I am a practicing Catholic. There were some people in my life that made comments about us being unequally yoked from the start, either directly about us or that relationships between unequally yoked individuals never “work out”. At the same time, the closer I got with the boy, the more I wanted to express myself through sex (and the more I felt like I was pushing God away each time). It drove me so crazy, I think I “mini” broke up with him like five times because I got scared it would never work, but it ripped me apart each time. It’s like I knew I was happy with him, but the ocd would start drilling a hole into our relationship and I couldn’t get rid of the thoughts since I thought they were real, not ocd. I went to therapy for another reason which also helped understand that these were intrusive thoughts. Fast forward until today and we are happily married, 8 years later, he is truly my best friend. I think therapy helps you get in touch with your wise self and that part knows what you really want, not clouded by external intrusive fears. Good luck!

I can understand why it would be difficult that he’s not a Christian , as that is a big part of someone’s life and something you wanna share with your partner. Your situation sounds horrible and you have my support 100%. I would say don’t act based on your OCD , as themes constantly change , so it’s best to let it pass and accept that you guys have different beliefs , but I would focus on the beliefs that you guys do share and what you do love about him. Who knows , maybe eventually he’ll find god ! You never know , so it’s best to wait this one out I feel like :)