I have schiz ocd and philosophical ocd. I hear so many great stories about Clomipramine and I really badly want to try it, but I’m so terrified of taking any drugs as my ocd convinces me I have hidden signs of psychosis and the drugs will make it worse. I get weird thoughts like what if everything turns into stone or everything starts shrinking or what if I am in a dream that I can’t wake up from. Stupid meaningless thoughts that I see in my minds eye, but they give me lots of panic because they can feel so real. I always think I’m hearing voices but it always tends to be sounds in my environment. I’m just so scared I’ll lose it completely if I take this drug as I’ve read some people experienced psychosis on this drug, and I just need help seeing the brighter side of things really. Any advice?

This answer is not going to help you in the long run because it is reassurance seeking, but I do think it’s important sometimes to know that other people have been through similar spike themes. I went through the fear of being schizo/psychotic spike in my late teens/early 20s. Every random off the wall thought that I every had throughout my life my OCD would use as evidence that I was insane. It was one of the toughest time periods of my life and since we didn’t have any apps or anything like NOCD I felt like I was the only person on the planet who was going through it, but rest assured that this is a very common OCD theme. Seek treatment from a therapist who does ERP and consider speaking to a doctor about medication because recovery is waiting for you!

Disclosure: I am not a therapist and I really encourage you to find one who does ERP to help guide you through it. I have also never done ERP for this specific spike because I was out of that one by the time I tried ERP. With that being said I will tell you what I do. I use an exposure card for my spikes (can also use an app on phone). I write down the thoughts that are concerning me and I read them once an hour (or try to) and really try to feel the anxiety that they cause for a brief moment....then move on and do not do any relief seeking. At first, the exposure is difficult, but as time goes on you get bored with it and almost annoyed with it. I am not currently in therapy, but I have been in the past through this clinic out of NYC via Skype. https://www.cognitivebehavioralcenter.com

Definitely y’all to your doctor, but I had similar fears and a similar spike theme when I started taking zoloft and I am sooo glad that I decided to. A doctor may want to start you in an ssri instead of clomipramine because the side effects are usually easier to deal with while keeping about the same effectiveness. Either way though, medicine was a miracle for me. In my experience the start up side effects can be tough, but after a few weeks they subsided and my OCD was reduced by approx 75%.

It all started after I read about it by the way.

Thanks man. You’re absolutely right

talk* to doctor

Do you think I should worry about being psychotic

Okay, I appreciate that. I just want to ask. When you went through this. Were your senses distorted. Did you think you saw a face or a figure. Did you think you hear phrases, from white noise in the environment? I just want to get such a solid affirmation that this is my ocd and I’m going to take that leap of starting treatment.

I’m 25. To be honest I sometimes think I hear “shoot her” but it’s always really faint and just sounds like it’s part of the background like the fan or something or my ears closing and opening. I have ear issues. My therapist also said that that’s not how people hear voices. It’s never progressed to anything more really. I heard voices “in my head” one time but I was up for like 48 hours traveling across the world and my therapist said thats normal. This has nothing to do with my fear, but I get double vision with text too. Especially with led lights. The thoughts have to be the worst part of all this. Everything is going to melt, everything is going to shrink, the walls are going to suffocate me, all of these thoughts that never happen, but I just imagine it all the time. I guess you could call it impending doom, but it really started when one day I had a panic attack and I decided to see if I was delusional while having an attack. so I made up the thought that my face is melting into the sink. I decided to look it up and the first thing that came up was schizo from then on my brain has latched onto these type of thoughts and constantly creates them. I always panic from them. Now I started to have philosophical thoughts that are terrifying too. It all just sucks. How can this illness be that bad.

It’s really sad because if you ask anyone they say I’m the nicest person they have ever met. I always give when I can and help when needed, but I just can’t seem to let this obsession go. I’ve convinced myself that I have my biggest fear. Yet I still go to work and shower, try my best to socialize.

Yea I did stop reading it haha. No one in my family has it. Dad’s side has mild anxiety that’s about it. I’m left handed it’s my only risk. Based off what I said though that’s similar to your story bro?

What is good ERP for schiz ocd?