Regret losing friendships

About 8 years ago my ocd got really bad and it made me closed off from 3 really important guy friends in my life. Over the years they would stop by my cabin continue to ask me to come to parties and don’t be a stranger. Due to my ocd thinking I would cheat on my boyfriend if I hung out with them I sometimes would never reach out or not respond. Now that I am out of the ocd bubble and I see how I ruined those friendships I want so bad to go back and not do those things. I see how the three of them are still together as best friends and I used to be the 4th. they all still see me and are super nice and we chit chat and will say the “OGs” and for “old time sake” they have asked me to hang out once and go fishing but I was in the city at work and another time they texted me why I wasn’t at bingo. Those eat me up alive and I ask god why they just never aligned. Everytime I am at the lake I wish I could hang out with them again like we did as kids l. It ate me a live that they didn’t know I had ocd and it wasn’t me. I was able to tell one of them and explain which I’m guessing he told the others. They all have girlfriends now and are a group and it kills me that I should have been in that with them but because of my ocd it was all destroyed. I wish so badly to have that back and think about what my life should have looked like. The guilt and regret kills me and makes me physically sick. I’ve said things like let me know if u do this I’ll come etc but idk if it’s too far gone I just don’t know how to deal with them feelings?

Heyitsmadi

Date posted: 1y

I understand how you feel. I often Look back at think about how much OCD has taken away from me and if my life could’ve been better. But I realized that I can mourn the past as much as I want but there’s no going back to it. So embrace your present and future! You can always give your friendship with your three friends a chance as true friends are understanding. But if that’s not something your interested in know that it’s okay to disconnect from friends ! It’s crazy looking back how many people I thought I would be friends with forever I’m no longer close with. While time may push people apart it brings new friendships forward if you are able to look past your guilt and regret you may find people in your life wanting to be your friend! :)

learningtore...

Date posted: 21w

missing a person my rOCD took away from me

has anyone reconciled or reconnected with someone after getting diagnosed and learning that your ocd was a massive reason for falling out? I had a very important person in my life that I cared for greatly but my undiagnosed ocd/rOCD at the time completely destroyed the relationship…known them for almost 9 years…big fight, I started it, havnt talked since, Ive tried to reach out but I don’t think any messages have gone through, they had their own faults of course but my ocd played a major role in them not being in my life now….i miss them. I want them back in my life so much.

Relationship OCD

learningtore...

Date posted: 20w

Ah I want my person back - F!undiagnosed rOCD !!!!

I had a massive falling out with my person before I got diagnosed with ocd and specifically rOCD. It wasn’t all me of course but not knowing I had ocd at all and believing all my thoughts and feeling in that time made that relationship really strained!! I miss them so much, I know so much more about myself now but all they know of me is me having a complete ocd meltdown and all the bad traits that come with that….because I didn’t know what was going on. Their version of me would be so different to me now. I want them back in my life so badly, sorry :( just needed to express that. I miss them so much. I was so safe and comfortable with them.

Relationship OCD

M✨️

Date posted: 11w

If you have time please hear me

From 2 months I realised I had OCD mix of alot of intrusive thoughts for the first time everything been so bad in my life since then but Thank god after taking medication it gone much better but after 2 months i have been struggling in my life in some way and i couldn't connect to the people around me because sometimes i become more anxious then I started playing a game consists of group of friends answering questions of different things movies quotes anyhting and i started to talk to them and after time i made group of friends and i was the leader 4 boys and 4 girls they were so funny and really respectful they matched my energy so well especially a boy there and after time i started falling for him more and getting attached to them more and if someone at home knows about this they will be so mad at me because I don't know them and it's wrong behavior to talk or play that lots of time with people you don't know But I can't stop talking to them they make me feel like all my intrusive thoughts calm down and the moment I feel like i need to leave them i feel stressed or anxious and my intrusive thoughts gets bigger I got so much attached to them and that boy and it Hurts and especially that boy seems like he likes someone from the team and I shouldn't have been attracted to him in the first place I feel so lost and idk what to do my OCD been severe these days I don't wanna cut them but I should cut them...!

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Regret losing friendships

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